S/O. What’s the point of potty training so young?

[Anonymous]

I think diaper quality is also a reason why kids train later. My parents first thing to check when a baby cried was if their diaper was wet. But I don't think any of my three kids ever cried because their diaper was wet, because the current diapers do such a great job wicking moisture away from the baby's skin.

The diaper being uncomfortable after you pee or poop in it, is a huge incentive to use the potty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Diapers are expensive, and in the past people
Had to use cloth diapers which are a pain

I use/d cloth diapers from birth for all my kids (youngest is still in them at almost 12 months old). Modern cloth is not a pain at all! It can be quite expensive to set up (we own an obscene number of diapers-- easily 40 covers, 25 pockets, 25 all-in-ones, and over 100 liners and flats/pre-folds), but once you have your stash, there is very little cost. Yes, there is a little more expense with laundry, but it really isn't that excessive.

The routine is easy. When I fold laundry, I just pad fold (fold into a rectangle) a bunch of flats and prefolds. When we change the baby, we just lay a pad-folded diaper with a hemp liner in the cover and snap it closed the same way disposable diapers velcro or tape closed. It's very easy!

Washing is also easy. Scrape solids into the toilet, throw the diaper into a wet bag until laundry is done, wash diapers in their own load, and fold when dry. That's it!

My kids have all done very well with cloth. If I recall correctly, we've only experienced a handful of blowouts or leaks from each child, which is probably the same as a child in disposable diapers would experience.

Potty training is also easy in cloth (we use cloth trainers then, which are like reusable pull-ups). We just make sure the layer next to the child's skin in cotton (not hemp or bamboo) because it feels wet, so they are more aware of drips. So far, all my kids have been day-trained by 20-24 months, and night-trained by 2.5 to 3.5.

It was a pain in 1900 when you didn't have a modern washing machine. It was easier to train the 12-18 month old than clean adult texture poo out of cloth diapers for an extra year or more.

[Anonymous]

Cost

Prevent UTIs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

[Anonymous]

It's a LOT easier to train a 1.5 year old than a 3 or 4 year old. People I know who waited until then often had additional psychological power struggles or anxiety to deal with.

In my culture, as soon as they can sit independently -- like 8-10 months -- you put them on the potty after a meal so they can get used to pooping or peeing in it. Just keep putting them on it, read to them. Make it a regular part of your routine before naps and bedtime. They soon get used to it. For kids, the feeling of familiarity and comfort is so helpful when learning a new skill.

Also agree that before the modern diaper industry, children on average trained before age 2. Now it's so late and parents don't agree with night training... you're not doing your kid a favor to not give them the conditions to learn. With nights you can wait until ~3 or so, but it's good to start taking them for a night pee and let them use night training pants. Our pediatrician had us do that and it worked in a few weeks. Yes, many children don't make the hormone that allows them to go all night until 6 or 7, but do you really want them in pull ups until then? If you limit fluids before bed and take them around 11 PM there's no reason why they should need to pee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a LOT easier to train a 1.5 year old than a 3 or 4 year old. People I know who waited until then often had additional psychological power struggles or anxiety to deal with.

In my culture, as soon as they can sit independently -- like 8-10 months -- you put them on the potty after a meal so they can get used to pooping or peeing in it. Just keep putting them on it, read to them. Make it a regular part of your routine before naps and bedtime. They soon get used to it. For kids, the feeling of familiarity and comfort is so helpful when learning a new skill.

Also agree that before the modern diaper industry, children on average trained before age 2. Now it's so late and parents don't agree with night training... you're not doing your kid a favor to not give them the conditions to learn. With nights you can wait until ~3 or so, but it's good to start taking them for a night pee and let them use night training pants. Our pediatrician had us do that and it worked in a few weeks. Yes, many children don't make the hormone that allows them to go all night until 6 or 7, but do you really want them in pull ups until then? If you limit fluids before bed and take them around 11 PM there's no reason why they should need to pee.

Not for my kid. I tried around 2.5 with my son and he was a major pain in the butt about it so I waited til he was 3 and then it was easy as can be. Just took the diaper off and never had any accidents really. I’m really glad I didn’t force the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

I agree that kids are different. My kids needed different approaches to potty training but they both still trained at 21 and 22 months. The little one is fiercely independent and Oh Crap naked time didn’t work. Minnie Mouse underpants and her deciding when to use the potty worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think diaper quality is also a reason why kids train later. My parents first thing to check when a baby cried was if their diaper was wet. But I don't think any of my three kids ever cried because their diaper was wet, because the current diapers do such a great job wicking moisture away from the baby's skin.

The diaper being uncomfortable after you pee or poop in it, is a huge incentive to use the potty.

+1 this is a huge part of why cloth-diapered kids of prior generations trained earlier. Pampers is run by evil geniuses lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

I agree that kids are different. My kids needed different approaches to potty training but they both still trained at 21 and 22 months. The little one is fiercely independent and Oh Crap naked time didn’t work. Minnie Mouse underpants and her deciding when to use the potty worked.

Well neither Oh Crap naked time nor special underpants or giving her more say worked for us. I remember very distinctly when we were about a month into potty training, we'd identified a big reward for DD that she would get if she went pee in the potty every day for five days. We got to day 5 and were like "Yes, you are doing so awesome! Just one more time today!" And she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't want it anymore" and refused to sit on the potty every day. And that was 22 months. So....

Maybe some kids are more different than even the two children you are raising who are siblings are? Like maybe there is a much, much broader range than your extremely limited experience with two children? Is it possible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom’s on here swear their three year olds potty trained immediately and easily but that has never been my experience as a nanny. The longer they poop standing up in diapers - the longer it takes to get them to sit to poop.

Mine trained a little over 3 years old with no problems. You just aren’t good at training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

I agree that kids are different. My kids needed different approaches to potty training but they both still trained at 21 and 22 months. The little one is fiercely independent and Oh Crap naked time didn’t work. Minnie Mouse underpants and her deciding when to use the potty worked.

Well neither Oh Crap naked time nor special underpants or giving her more say worked for us. I remember very distinctly when we were about a month into potty training, we'd identified a big reward for DD that she would get if she went pee in the potty every day for five days. We got to day 5 and were like "Yes, you are doing so awesome! Just one more time today!" And she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't want it anymore" and refused to sit on the potty every day. And that was 22 months. So....

Maybe some kids are more different than even the two children you are raising who are siblings are? Like maybe there is a much, much broader range than your extremely limited experience with two children? Is it possible?

NP here. I’ve potty trained nine kids from three different families (I’m a nanny) all happily before two. Don’t make excuses. We just kept moving forward and never backward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom’s on here swear their three year olds potty trained immediately and easily but that has never been my experience as a nanny. The longer they poop standing up in diapers - the longer it takes to get them to sit to poop.

Mine trained a little over 3 years old with no problems. You just aren’t good at training.

I trained nine kids all before the age of two as a nanny. I guess you aren’t as good at potty training as you thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

I agree that kids are different. My kids needed different approaches to potty training but they both still trained at 21 and 22 months. The little one is fiercely independent and Oh Crap naked time didn’t work. Minnie Mouse underpants and her deciding when to use the potty worked.

Well neither Oh Crap naked time nor special underpants or giving her more say worked for us. I remember very distinctly when we were about a month into potty training, we'd identified a big reward for DD that she would get if she went pee in the potty every day for five days. We got to day 5 and were like "Yes, you are doing so awesome! Just one more time today!" And she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't want it anymore" and refused to sit on the potty every day. And that was 22 months. So....

Maybe some kids are more different than even the two children you are raising who are siblings are? Like maybe there is a much, much broader range than your extremely limited experience with two children? Is it possible?

NP here. I’ve potty trained nine kids from three different families (I’m a nanny) all happily before two. Don’t make excuses. We just kept moving forward and never backward.

Not appropriate physiologically before the age of 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The disposable diaper industry hired some primary care MD to write “the signs of readiness” that became very popular stating to keep kids in disposable diapers until 3. Made billions for them!

No other reason. Prior to the readily available disposable diaper, all kids potty trained around two or earlier.

Yes, disposable diapers are easier for the parents but not better for the kids.

THIS THIS THIS.

Same reason for pullups overnight. The companies make a fortune.