S/O. What’s the point of potty training so young?

[Anonymous]

Every preschool we looked at required kids to be independently and reliable potty trained before entering the three year old program. That's one reason. All five of mine were potty trained by between two and two and a half years old. Why would I want to extend the time they are in diapers. Yuck!

[Anonymous]

Mom’s on here swear their three year olds potty trained immediately and easily but that has never been my experience as a nanny. The longer they poop standing up in diapers - the longer it takes to get them to sit to poop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every preschool we looked at required kids to be independently and reliable potty trained before entering the three year old program. That's one reason. All five of mine were potty trained by between two and two and a half years old. Why would I want to extend the time they are in diapers. Yuck!

That's not 'early' that is normal.

The opposite of training at like 18 months is not 'waiting'. Most kids will not be ready then. Some will be. A big group of kids are ready between two and two and a half. Some aren't ready till closer to 3. So if a kid isn't ready early, it doesn't mean don't try till past 3-it means the kid isn't ready right then, but may be next month or a few months. It's ok to try a few times! When they are ready, it typically goes fairly easily and usually they train for pee and poo and day and night simutaneously (some kids don't stay night dry till later because of genetics).

I had a child who trained right at 2, in less than an week. I also had a child who wasn't ready till nearly 3, who then trained in about a week. And my other kids were around 2.5 years and again, when ready trained quickly. No one with held poo or had phobias, but then I didn't hard handed-ly force an unready little one. And it was not some major stress for all.

The take away is-it's great to train when they are ready and not wait. It's ok to not be ready early.

[Anonymous]

The book Oh Crap addresses this exact question in detail.

The most compelling reason for me was that 3 year olds are very willful. As challenging as 2 year olds can be, they do not have the same need to define themselves as separate from you.

I have heard of the mythical 3 year old who trained in a day. I’ve also heard of people who waited til 3, and weren’t able to get their kid trained until 4/4.5.

I got my SN child trained at 27 months and yeah, It’s up there with one of the hardest things I’ve ever done lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The disposable diaper industry hired some primary care MD to write “the signs of readiness” that became very popular stating to keep kids in disposable diapers until 3. Made billions for them!

No other reason. Prior to the readily available disposable diaper, all kids potty trained around two or earlier.

Yes, disposable diapers are easier for the parents but not better for the kids.

Um, no.

My exMIL insists exdh was potty trained by 18 months. When I pressed on this, turns out 'potty trained' meant she strapped him into some potty seat contraption that had a tray-apparently for hours at a time- and set him in front of the tv with animal crackers! I was horrified.

I'm from the cloth diaper era and there were plenty of 2-3 year olds still training. Ask a grandma what 'training pants' were!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The disposable diaper industry hired some primary care MD to write “the signs of readiness” that became very popular stating to keep kids in disposable diapers until 3. Made billions for them!

No other reason. Prior to the readily available disposable diaper, all kids potty trained around two or earlier.

Yes, disposable diapers are easier for the parents but not better for the kids.

Um, no.

My exMIL insists exdh was potty trained by 18 months. When I pressed on this, turns out 'potty trained' meant she strapped him into some potty seat contraption that had a tray-apparently for hours at a time- and set him in front of the tv with animal crackers! I was horrified.

I'm from the cloth diaper era and there were plenty of 2-3 year olds still training. Ask a grandma what 'training pants' were!

You really think all older people were strapped into a potty seat for hours? I am 67 and was toilet trained at 18 months without problem as were all my five siblings.

[Anonymous]

Potty training young is better for the child. That’s really it. It’s a sense of pride and autonomy as well as independence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The disposable diaper industry hired some primary care MD to write “the signs of readiness” that became very popular stating to keep kids in disposable diapers until 3. Made billions for them!

No other reason. Prior to the readily available disposable diaper, all kids potty trained around two or earlier.

Yes, disposable diapers are easier for the parents but not better for the kids.

Um, no.

My exMIL insists exdh was potty trained by 18 months. When I pressed on this, turns out 'potty trained' meant she strapped him into some potty seat contraption that had a tray-apparently for hours at a time- and set him in front of the tv with animal crackers! I was horrified.

I'm from the cloth diaper era and there were plenty of 2-3 year olds still training. Ask a grandma what 'training pants' were!

You really think all older people were strapped into a potty seat for hours? I am 67 and was toilet trained at 18 months without problem as were all my five siblings.

I'd be curious as to what 'potty training' meant to your mother. My cousins and I were trained between 18-36 months- just like what is normal now and I'm 51. Do you know what 'training pants' and 'rubber pants' were?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Diapers are definitely not easier than your kids using the toilet. It takes a few weeks but no more diaper bag, changing tables, diaper smell, etc. It’s so worth it. They should show prerequisite skills first though so i wouldn’t try training yet, but you do you.

OP again. We aren’t thinking about starting now!!!

Go for it! I’ve toilet trained about 100 kids, none before 18 months though. Let me know how it works out for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The disposable diaper industry hired some primary care MD to write “the signs of readiness” that became very popular stating to keep kids in disposable diapers until 3. Made billions for them!

No other reason. Prior to the readily available disposable diaper, all kids potty trained around two or earlier.

Yes, disposable diapers are easier for the parents but not better for the kids.

This! It’s so gross to me that many elements of our culture and even medical advice can be rooted in some company or industries marketing ploys to make money.

That said, we live in this day and age and whatever works best for you - do it. If that means potty training at 1 or 3 or 4 - there are ways to make it work.
Just know historically and in some places globally even today, the norm is to ease them into it from very early age and potty train approx by 2.

We sensitized DS to it around 7mo (reading books to him while on his potty etc) and started actually trying at 18mo. I so long for the days of diaper bc it’s really hard to have him peeing and pooping everywhere, but am committed to gently, consistently getting him there by 2. Less cost and less mess for us.

You are incorrect biologically on having child potty trained at this early age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Potty training young is better for the child. That’s really it. It’s a sense of pride and autonomy as well as independence.

Uh, no.

[Anonymous]

Yes diapers are easier. There is no lint of potty training at 2 and then dealing with “accidents” for another year.

[Anonymous]

A potty trained 3-4 yr old is way easier than diapers. What is NOT easier is a 2yr old who doesn’t wear diapers, but also can’t manipulate their clothes easily and is too small to get them selves onto most toilets. 2-3 yr olds also seem to not be able to gauge the need to go in advance so then you have emergencies where you have to sprint for the bathroom.

A friend whose kids are a bit older than mine told me “you can potty train at 2yrs and it will take a year or you can potty train at 3yr old and it will take 3 days”. I potty trained both my kids 2-3 months before they turned 3 and it took them 2-3 days to “get it” and about 6 weeks to independently tell us they had to go.

[Anonymous]

Yea, I don't get it either. Some kids are ready earlier, but if not- Why put either one of you through unneeded stress? Who cares if it takes a little while longer? What difference will it make? None. Kids are ready when they are ready. With my oldest (DD) I stressed so much it was ridiculous...I finally decided it wasn't doing either of us any good. So I changed tack on that....when they were about 2 1/2 I took them to the store to buy "big girl/boy" pants. They got to choose them. Every now and then I would ask - do you want to try the big girl/boy pants today?" For awhile the answer was no....I let them be in control of that (no matter how much you might want to control you child, you cannot control another person's bowels and bladder - they need to learn how to do it themselves). When they finally said yes we hardly had any accidents. They were ready. They were allowed to be in control over when it happened. My DD was not quite 3 and my DS was about 3 1/2. My DD decided this about 1 month before DS was born. Everyone told me to expect regression...none at all. In fact, about the time he was born, she decided she didn't want nighttime diapers either...she brought it up to me I didn't ask her. Eh, so they were 3ish...They weren't stunted in any way or higher achieving or better behaved than kids who were potty trained 6 months earlier...MUCH easier on everyone IMO.

[Anonymous]

"Potty training" is not just about the actual pee and poop. It's also about being able to do the whole routine of using a bathroom--recognizing that you need to go and having some idea of how long you have until it's an emergency, pulling underwear/pants up and down, sitting (or standing) patiently while you wait for all the poop and pee to come out, flushing the toilet and washing hands. Developmentally, most kids are not ready for this until somewhere between 2-3.5. Anywhere in that range is pretty darn normal and adding stress into learning/mastering this routine by doing it before the child is ready is just unnecessary. Most preschool programs don't require it for attendance until 3(ish) for that reason.

But to answer your questions, diapers are definitely more convenient until your kid is ready, especially when you're out of the house (despite the very real financial and environmental issues they present). My kids all potty trained between 3 and 3.5 and it took about a week for each. But...I still put pull ups on for long car trips for a few months after that and being able to get through the night dry took a full 1-2 years longer. You know your kid best. When they are ready to learn the routine above, you'll know. Good luck OP!