White tie early in the day?

[Anonymous]

White tie affairs tend to be state or royal banquets or the fanciest of weddings, which this clearly is not. It’s not just a dress code.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good Lord, people, its a wedding -- they can do it anyway they want. Maybe they wanted white tie memories, but could only get the venue for daytime. So what? Only an ogre would mock them for this. It's a wedding.

A gracious host/hostess does not do “whatever they want” with no regard to the effect it will have on their guests. Right now, they are causing genuine confusion to their guests because white tie is actually a set category of formality that has meaning, and everything they are doing (time of day, location) contradicts that meaning. So that’s “so what,” you shouldn’t cause confusion for your guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good Lord, people, its a wedding -- they can do it anyway they want. Maybe they wanted white tie memories, but could only get the venue for daytime. So what? Only an ogre would mock them for this. It's a wedding.

A gracious host/hostess does not do “whatever they want” with no regard to the effect it will have on their guests. Right now, they are causing genuine confusion to their guests because white tie is actually a set category of formality that has meaning, and everything they are doing (time of day, location) contradicts that meaning. So that’s “so what,” you shouldn’t cause confusion for your guests.

+1. And words have meaning and "white tie" does not mean what they think it means, as evidenced by the MOB's response to OP.

[Anonymous]

I think you should split the difference, and wear a tiara and wellies.

OP, please pinkie swear that you will report back on how this wedding went. Including what the other guests wore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They clearly have no clue what they are asking. Wear a pretty, summery dress and be done with it. Maybe a long dress because that kind of checks the formality box if people are dressed up, but you can find something light and comfortable.

https://www.nordstrom.com/s/eliza-j-floral-flutter-sleeve-dress/5900351?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=338

I love this dress! I may get this for a wedding I have coming up in August!

[Anonymous]

Where are you OP and what are you wearing??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should split the difference, and wear a tiara and wellies.

OP, please pinkie swear that you will report back on how this wedding went. Including what the other guests wore.

+1. OP when is the wedding? We need a detailed report!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this weird? I have been to many black and white tie events and never once have I been invited to something that says "white tie" and takes place at 11 am. Do I trust that they want us in white tie and wear a ballgown before noon or should I maybe do a cocktail dress.

For reference: it is a wedding, venue is a farm and it will be outdoor brunch reception.

OP - i don't have time to read all of the responses, but white tie is after six p.m. Always

[Anonymous]

Op I will report back to let you all know if I embarrass myself (either by over or under dressing).

Decided to wear a long summery dress. Not posting a pic/link because some previous posters felt the need to tear into me over my dress choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I will report back to let you all know if I embarrass myself (either by over or under dressing).

Decided to wear a long summery dress. Not posting a pic/link because some previous posters felt the need to tear into me over my dress choices.

Please post the dress, Op! I'd love to see what you decided on, even if it's not my taste. Who cares what DCUM thinks???

[Anonymous]

Good call, OP, I think that it will be very interesting to see the constellation of clothing choices made by guests.
What a head-scratcher.
At the most recent area wedding I attended, I wore a Zimmerman cotton-silk long dress with bubble sleeves and a high neck. It wasn’t super-hot yet so that helped. Outdoors, 6 pm on invite and “black tie,” not “black tie-optional” or anything else open to interpretation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here,

Reached out today to the mother of the bride. She said “it is white tie, so tuxedos and long dresses”. I said “okay, thank you so much for letting me know!”

I messaged another of DH’s cousins to see what they are wearing.

As for the comments about the dress I posted, I took the advice to wear something long. I never said I was dead set on that particular dress just that I had it and it fit the criteria of “garden party”.

I’d go with any long dress you already have and expect to see fashion that’s all over the map for this one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being on a farm means nothing. I went to a $$$$$ wedding recently at a “farm” that is also a Michelin starred restaurant. The D&G dress looks perfect to me OP.

Doesn't matter. White tie is eveningwear. Formal morning wear is different. I went to a wedding once that was in the morning and the groom and groomsmen wore morning coats, which was appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:They clearly have no clue what they are asking. Wear a pretty, summery dress and be done with it. Maybe a long dress because that kind of checks the formality box if people are dressed up, but you can find something light and comfortable.

https://www.nordstrom.com/s/eliza-j-floral-flutter-sleeve-dress/5900351?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=338

Something like this would be perfect.

That is ugly and frumpy.

Maybe on your body.

lol I was just reading the thread about people being mean.
Did you design the dress? Why the nastiness? I'm allowed to not like it.

NP… you were the first to say the dress is ugly and frumpy.

Not liking some random dress is not the same thing as insulting another person here. I would never do that.

The other poster gave constructive and helpful advice and posted a link. She added to this conversation. You added nothing but essentially putting down her taste. You’re not a hero, and you don’t get to play Wounded Bird.

Ladies please! These nonsense arguments are bringing the rest of us to tears! We should be supporting one another not tearing each other down!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Op here,

Reached out today to the mother of the bride. She said “it is white tie, so tuxedos and long dresses”. I said “okay, thank you so much for letting me know!”

I messaged another of DH’s cousins to see what they are wearing.

As for the comments about the dress I posted, I took the advice to wear something long. I never said I was dead set on that particular dress just that I had it and it fit the criteria of “garden party”.

I would’ve asked to clarify further. White tie is not a tuxedo, it’s tails.

Op here, I’m aware. I didn’t want to ask anymore questions because she seemed really annoyed that I was calling to begin with. And there was no way for me to say “but that’s not white tie” without sounding like an ass. So we shall see.

Good luck. Not even the British Royal Family wears white (or black) tie to weddings. Its day dresses and hats for women, and morning coats or uniforms for men.

British royals get married in the morning, by tradition, so it's morning coats.

Well, the BRF typcially reserves white tie for state dinners. Will there be heads of government or reigning monarchs at the wedding OP is attending?

Unlikely. And they wouldn't wear white tie in the morning if they were. They'd wear morning coats, as one should. And this wedding won't be white tie, either; there's no chance that anyone there will be in tails and white tie.