White tie early in the day?

[Anonymous]

OP I would just take a simple skirt and cardigan from like Ann Taylor and dress it up with some flattering jewelry. Elegant and simple.

[Anonymous]

Both of your choices are very pretty and probably appropriate. Accessories on the casual side so you don't get mistaken for a bridesmaid. I'd also bring the short dress you posted.
I think you should resign yourself to not hitting whatever imaginary dress code that the bride envisioned. Just go and have fun.

[Anonymous]

OP is just mocking her husband's "lower-class" relatives, people.

[Anonymous]

Op here:

How am I mocking anyone? I don’t think they’re low class. I don’t know how much money is in their bank account.

They have stuff that I consider “fancy” (they post on fb about their $$ cappuccino maker that seems divine)and I have things they consider to be fancy as well. I don’t know them that well except for family gatherings like kids birthdays, barbecues, etc.

[Anonymous]

Just go with what they asked. It's their day, not yours.

All the posters clutching their pearls about breaches in protocol are hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just go with what they asked. It's their day, not yours.

All the posters clutching their pearls about breaches in protocol are hilarious.

The concern is that perhaps they aren't aware how ridiculously dressy and formal white tie is. Rolling up to a business casual/sunday best type wedding in a white tie ball gown or tails is equally as awkward as wearing a short cocktail dress to white tie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I would just take a simple skirt and cardigan from like Ann Taylor and dress it up with some flattering jewelry. Elegant and simple.

Ann Taylor is the definition of frumpy. OP, don’t wear Ann Taylor. Your wardrobe seems much more stylish than that, anyway. I really like the Dolce & Gabbana dress you posted.

[Anonymous]

Who the heck can get away with wearing tails in this country? William and Harry can wear it because they’re British royalty. I feel like if you aren’t old money/aristocratic and you wear tails, you’re just pretending to be something you’re not.

[Anonymous]

Asking is not dumb, and it’s not “pearl clutching.” It’s not unusual for people not to know what these terms mean. We were invited to a “black tie” wedding, and DH, as instructed, wore black tie (it’s his own tux, so it wasn’t a big deal). He was the only one there wearing black tie, including the groom. It was actually kind of funny, as my DH isn’t easily embarrassed, but I do wish I had asked.

[Anonymous]

How did it go OP?

[Anonymous]

OP here!

I wore the long chiffon dress and a hat, when we arrived it was clear that there were a mix of styles and formality levels so I didn't run to the hotel and change. The mother of the bride wore a black cocktail dress. Some women wore sun dresses, others wore ball gowns and stilettos. I’m glad I wore a hat, since that seemed to be the only thing that was consistent amongst the female guests. The men varied from jeans and a tee all the way up to suit and tie. You were right in your estimation that no one was actually wearing white tie.

All of the bridesmaids wore high low dresses (shout out to PP who mentioned high low being back in style!) and the groomsmen wore Polo shirts with dark wash jeans. The groom was, in fact, wearing a tuxedo. The bride wore a pretty dress. It wasn’t white, but certainly looked “wedding ball gown”. Unfortunately, it has rained a lot in this area so the bottom of her dress got a bit dirty by the end of the ceremony.


The brunch was good. The drinks were pretty expensive, I bought a mimosa and a beer for DH, $26 total. Several people must have known in advance because they brought their own miniatures.

The Mother of the Bride started a raffle at the reception. She told us all how no one had purchased this one particular expensive item on the registry and they were selling raffle tickets to help cover the cost.

In all, we had a good time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here!

I wore the long chiffon dress and a hat, when we arrived it was clear that there were a mix of styles and formality levels so I didn't run to the hotel and change. The mother of the bride wore a black cocktail dress. Some women wore sun dresses, others wore ball gowns and stilettos. I’m glad I wore a hat, since that seemed to be the only thing that was consistent amongst the female guests. The men varied from jeans and a tee all the way up to suit and tie. You were right in your estimation that no one was actually wearing white tie.

All of the bridesmaids wore high low dresses (shout out to PP who mentioned high low being back in style!) and the groomsmen wore Polo shirts with dark wash jeans. The groom was, in fact, wearing a tuxedo. The bride wore a pretty dress. It wasn’t white, but certainly looked “wedding ball gown”. Unfortunately, it has rained a lot in this area so the bottom of her dress got a bit dirty by the end of the ceremony.


The brunch was good. The drinks were pretty expensive, I bought a mimosa and a beer for DH, $26 total. Several people must have known in advance because they brought their own miniatures.

The Mother of the Bride started a raffle at the reception. She told us all how no one had purchased this one particular expensive item on the registry and they were selling raffle tickets to help cover the cost.

In all, we had a good time!

A morning farmhouse “white tie” wedding with a cash bar and raffle. Wild.
The range of outfits among the wedding party and family alone is bizarre. I certainly am not surprised at the range among the guests though.

I’m glad you had a good time.

[Anonymous]

Well now I need to know what the raffle prize was!

[Anonymous]

Op again,

The raffle prize was the bridal party bouquets. We left before they announced the winner. We didn't buy any tickets, but we did donate to the collection they had going.

[Anonymous]

What did your husband wear OP?