Mentally Ill Sister Having a Baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen this same scenario. Kids usually end up in foster care or adopted out.

Wow, you’ve seen a scenario often where a kid ends up in foster care or adopted out due to having to a mentally ill mom, despite having an involved and loving dad?

Yep.

Then it sounds like you live in a very messed-up town where CPS is routinely needlessly separating children from a capable parent.

Or, like you’re lying online. I think the latter is probably it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen this same scenario. Kids usually end up in foster care or adopted out.

Wow, you’ve seen a scenario often where a kid ends up in foster care or adopted out due to having to a mentally ill mom, despite having an involved and loving dad?

Yep.

Then it sounds like you live in a very messed-up town where CPS is routinely needlessly separating children from a capable parent.

Or, like you’re lying online. I think the latter is probably it.

Who said it’s a capable or involved and loving Dad? The baby hasn’t even come yet? Many dads hit the wall and disappear at the responsibilities. And his wife may end up another dependent. That’s a lot. Even if she got supervised visitation, it’s still a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve seen this same scenario. Kids usually end up in foster care or adopted out.

Wow, you’ve seen a scenario often where a kid ends up in foster care or adopted out due to having to a mentally ill mom, despite having an involved and loving dad?

Yep.

Then it sounds like you live in a very messed-up town where CPS is routinely needlessly separating children from a capable parent.

Or, like you’re lying online. I think the latter is probably it.

Who said it’s a capable or involved and loving Dad? The baby hasn’t even come yet? Many dads hit the wall and disappear at the responsibilities. And his wife may end up another dependent. That’s a lot. Even if she got supervised visitation, it’s still a lot.

Keep on moving the goalposts.

[Anonymous]

I still don’t understand the point. The sister is already pregnant. OP is not even involved. She sees her sister ONCE PER YEAR.

Maybe it will go well for the sister, maybe it won’t, what is the point of OP speculating about it and all of you weighing in?

This feels awfully close to eugenics where y’all think you have the right to decide who is worthy of being a mother or not. This is America. People have rights when it comes to reproductive and parenting decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don’t understand the point. The sister is already pregnant. OP is not even involved. She sees her sister ONCE PER YEAR.

Maybe it will go well for the sister, maybe it won’t, what is the point of OP speculating about it and all of you weighing in?

This feels awfully close to eugenics where y’all think you have the right to decide who is worthy of being a mother or not. This is America. People have rights when it comes to reproductive and parenting decisions.

Yes, people have rights and choices, but those choices have consequences. My sister decided to pursue use of a surrogate due to her inabilty to physically carry the fetus to term.
She was blessed with a healthy baby! A baby that she cannot physically lift up, carry, or care for. She is 100% dependent on her spouse and full time nanny.
The baby is loved but I would be lying if I said I think it's an unfortunate situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don’t understand the point. The sister is already pregnant. OP is not even involved. She sees her sister ONCE PER YEAR.

Maybe it will go well for the sister, maybe it won’t, what is the point of OP speculating about it and all of you weighing in?

This feels awfully close to eugenics where y’all think you have the right to decide who is worthy of being a mother or not. This is America. People have rights when it comes to reproductive and parenting decisions.

Exactly why there are women with 6 children from 5 different men and millions of foster children age 3-18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still don’t understand the point. The sister is already pregnant. OP is not even involved. She sees her sister ONCE PER YEAR.

Maybe it will go well for the sister, maybe it won’t, what is the point of OP speculating about it and all of you weighing in?

This feels awfully close to eugenics where y’all think you have the right to decide who is worthy of being a mother or not. This is America. People have rights when it comes to reproductive and parenting decisions.

Exactly why there are women with 6 children from 5 different men and millions of foster children age 3-18.

You’re welcome to become a foster parent. Still doesn’t mean that you or OP have any say whatsoever in what the sister chooses to do.

[Anonymous]

OP isn’t trying to get her sister sterilized. She’s worried. People come on this website all the time to talk about things that worry them. That’s a valid use of this website. Sometimes people have useful ways of reframing thinking, or concrete steps one can take to minimize whatever it’s s your worried will happen. People have shared some of those things. Everyone knows OP has no right to control her sister. She does have a right to her feelings. Some of those feelings may be informed by unresolved trauma of being the younger sibling of someone with serious mental health challenges.

[Anonymous]

You see her once a year OP, there is nothing you can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP isn’t trying to get her sister sterilized. She’s worried. People come on this website all the time to talk about things that worry them. That’s a valid use of this website. Sometimes people have useful ways of reframing thinking, or concrete steps one can take to minimize whatever it’s s your worried will happen. People have shared some of those things. Everyone knows OP has no right to control her sister. She does have a right to her feelings. Some of those feelings may be informed by unresolved trauma of being the younger sibling of someone with serious mental health challenges.

This.

It’s very, very hard having a sibling (especially your only sibling) with mental illness serious enough to be functionally disabling, but not enough to warrant actual supportive services (I know those are extremely hard to come by in this country). My sister struggles with drug and alcohol addiction, lots of mental illness, and I absolutely worry about her younger daughter. Thankfully, her older daughter solely lives with her dad, but the younger has an unstable father. People here screaming EUGENICS over a sibling’s reasonable concern aren’t helpful and they aren’t even making a good point.

Hang in there, OP. I do hope for the best possible outcome in this case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP isn’t trying to get her sister sterilized. She’s worried. People come on this website all the time to talk about things that worry them. That’s a valid use of this website. Sometimes people have useful ways of reframing thinking, or concrete steps one can take to minimize whatever it’s s your worried will happen. People have shared some of those things. Everyone knows OP has no right to control her sister. She does have a right to her feelings. Some of those feelings may be informed by unresolved trauma of being the younger sibling of someone with serious mental health challenges.

She’s not worried. She’s envious which isn’t the same thing. Read the original post she spends way more time writing about her sisters rejection of her parents than anything else. I think she was fine with her sister getting married to a potentially learning disabled blue collar man. But that since she has decided not to have kids she’s pissed that her sister is pregnant.