I love my kids but I’m also jealous of anybody who doesn’t have kids

[Anonymous]

I am child-free fee by choice, as are about 1/5 the friends i graduated high school with. We are now late 50s - early 60s. I am actually surprised at the number whenever I attend reunions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am child-free fee by choice, as are about 1/5 the friends i graduated high school with. We are now late 50s - early 60s. I am actually surprised at the number whenever I attend reunions.

Why are you posting in this subforum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow i think the takeaway here is that parenting Little kids really meets you wherever you are. I too am not an intuitive parent and have been super challenged by my parenting journey but I really wouldn’t change it for the world. It is the most fulfilling and profound journey a human can go through. Yup, I said it. Is it possible to have a rich and fulfilling life without kids? Full of meaning and connection? Absolutely.
Is it as rich, connected, and profound as the life of a parent? No way, no how.
I don’t envy my childless friends and family. I see a desperate and sad longing in their eyes. I never knew being a parent would be this amazing, this incredible. To be their parent, their guardian and guide as they grow, the bow that launches this precious arrow, is a privilege. I only wish I had known earlier! I truly never knew.
Now, I very time I travel and have to board my dog, I REALLY envy people without dogs!!! And I am a lifelong dog lover and have a 16 year old dog I adore!!! But being able to travel without finding doggy care or having to come home to let him out? that’s freedom.

this is why I won't get pets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. There is a certain time in most people's lives when it needs to stop being about them.

Eye roll. People have kids because THEY want them to make their own lives better. You’re not doing a community service by raising kids. We have enough people on this planet. Get over yourself.

+1

I wish both of your parents had thought the same.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m only jealous financially.

+1
Other than financially, I pity them.

No need, we’re doing great!

Tell me that when you're 80 and alone and all your friends are dead.

Having children is not a guarantee that you won't be alone in old age. This isn't some sinister warning that kids will grow up and dislike or be resentful of their parents for whatever reason, but they could live halfway around the world from you.

I am child free by choice. I do think it will make old age harder, not having kids. I’m scared for that. But I do think it’s a good idea for someone to spend the bulk of their adulthood raising kids if they don’t want to, just to have kids in old age. That’s not fair for the kids, for one thing.

I had to check the timestamp for this post because it sounds like exactly what I say, and think. I do think that older age - if we get to live that long (knock wood) - will be worse because we don't have kids. I try to think through how I will manage, and I don't always have good answers. But I also didn't think it was wise to have kids, just for the hope of an easier old age. It seemed like a bad bargain. Ask me in 25 years how I feel, I guess - today, late 40s, I feel good about the decision. Scared, as PP said, of old age; comfortable in middle age.

Most [b]AMERICAN[/b] kids don't want to take care of aging parents, and don't. Nursing homes are filled with mostly old people that have kids somewhere. I love my kids and hope we continue to have great relationships as when they move into adulthood. But I don't want or expect them to take on the burden of caring for me in old age.

EDITED IT FOR YOU

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am child-free fee by choice, as are about 1/5 the friends i graduated high school with. We are now late 50s - early 60s. I am actually surprised at the number whenever I attend reunions.

Why are you posting in this subforum?

Sure they saw it on Recent Topics

But GenX and Millenials are having fewer/no kids. Late 40s and most of my friends with college educations didn't have kids.

https://www.businessinsider.com/why-millennials-birth-fertility-rate-declining-fewer-babies-2022-1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m only jealous financially.

+1
Other than financially, I pity them.

No need, we’re doing great!

Tell me that when you're 80 and alone and all your friends are dead.

Having children is not a guarantee that you won't be alone in old age. This isn't some sinister warning that kids will grow up and dislike or be resentful of their parents for whatever reason, but they could live halfway around the world from you.

I am child free by choice. I do think it will make old age harder, not having kids. I’m scared for that. But I do think it’s a good idea for someone to spend the bulk of their adulthood raising kids if they don’t want to, just to have kids in old age. That’s not fair for the kids, for one thing.

I had to check the timestamp for this post because it sounds like exactly what I say, and think. I do think that older age - if we get to live that long (knock wood) - will be worse because we don't have kids. I try to think through how I will manage, and I don't always have good answers. But I also didn't think it was wise to have kids, just for the hope of an easier old age. It seemed like a bad bargain. Ask me in 25 years how I feel, I guess - today, late 40s, I feel good about the decision. Scared, as PP said, of old age; comfortable in middle age.

Most [b]AMERICAN[/b] kids don't want to take care of aging parents, and don't. Nursing homes are filled with mostly old people that have kids somewhere. I love my kids and hope we continue to have great relationships as when they move into adulthood. But I don't want or expect them to take on the burden of caring for me in old age.

EDITED IT FOR YOU

yup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am child-free fee by choice, as are about 1/5 the friends i graduated high school with. We are now late 50s - early 60s. I am actually surprised at the number whenever I attend reunions.

Why are you posting in this subforum?

Why are YOU posting in this sub-forum??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same OP same…I’ll go further and say some days I cry and cry about it because my friends get to travel and I see their smiling rested faces with beautiful backgrounds and decadent meals. I just ate a half pbj sandwich in 3.56 minutes and from the moment I wake up someone asks for something is crying about something is touching me.

I am so, so tired and then I feel guilty for how I feel. I am jealous of childless people, they are very lucky indeed.

We’re not lucky, we just made different choices from you. At least those of us who are child free by choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow i think the takeaway here is that parenting Little kids really meets you wherever you are. I too am not an intuitive parent and have been super challenged by my parenting journey but I really wouldn’t change it for the world. It is the most fulfilling and profound journey a human can go through. Yup, I said it. Is it possible to have a rich and fulfilling life without kids? Full of meaning and connection? Absolutely.
Is it as rich, connected, and profound as the life of a parent? No way, no how.
I don’t envy my childless friends and family. I see a desperate and sad longing in their eyes. I never knew being a parent would be this amazing, this incredible. To be their parent, their guardian and guide as they grow, the bow that launches this precious arrow, is a privilege. I only wish I had known earlier! I truly never knew.
Now, I very time I travel and have to board my dog, I REALLY envy people without dogs!!! And I am a lifelong dog lover and have a 16 year old dog I adore!!! But being able to travel without finding doggy care or having to come home to let him out? that’s freedom.

No, you see what you want to see. I’m childfree by choice, and have exactly zero longing or desperation for children. This is a really f*cked up post and if I knew you felt this way, you’d no longer be my friend.

[Anonymous]

It’s exhausting, but there’s definitely an end to the constant demands. Most of my coworkers are 10 yrs older than me and their kids are in college/grad school— their time is now theirs again. Until elder care hits, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s exhausting, but there’s definitely an end to the constant demands. Most of my coworkers are 10 yrs older than me and their kids are in college/grad school— their time is now theirs again. Until elder care hits, of course.

I agree! My friends with older kids or empty nest are just as free amd rested as my childfree by choice friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am child-free fee by choice, as are about 1/5 the friends i graduated high school with. We are now late 50s - early 60s. I am actually surprised at the number whenever I attend reunions.

Why are you posting in this subforum?

I will never get over how weird it is that child free people post in here. If your life is so foot loose and fancy free, why are you spending your time posting on a forum for parents? Go to brunch or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow i think the takeaway here is that parenting Little kids really meets you wherever you are. I too am not an intuitive parent and have been super challenged by my parenting journey but I really wouldn’t change it for the world. It is the most fulfilling and profound journey a human can go through. Yup, I said it. Is it possible to have a rich and fulfilling life without kids? Full of meaning and connection? Absolutely.
Is it as rich, connected, and profound as the life of a parent? No way, no how.
I don’t envy my childless friends and family. I see a desperate and sad longing in their eyes. I never knew being a parent would be this amazing, this incredible. To be their parent, their guardian and guide as they grow, the bow that launches this precious arrow, is a privilege. I only wish I had known earlier! I truly never knew.
Now, I very time I travel and have to board my dog, I REALLY envy people without dogs!!! And I am a lifelong dog lover and have a 16 year old dog I adore!!! But being able to travel without finding doggy care or having to come home to let him out? that’s freedom.

No, you see what you want to see. I’m childfree by choice, and have exactly zero longing or desperation for children. This is a really f*cked up post and if I knew you felt this way, you’d no longer be my friend.

Lol no. I have a neighbor with no children who has sadly told me how much she regrets not having them. I think for every person with no children who chose not to have them there are 3 other childless people who really wanted kids but couldn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m only jealous financially.

+1
Other than financially, I pity them.

No need, we’re doing great!

Tell me that when you're 80 and alone and all your friends are dead.

Having children is not a guarantee that you won't be alone in old age. This isn't some sinister warning that kids will grow up and dislike or be resentful of their parents for whatever reason, but they could live halfway around the world from you.

I am child free by choice. I do think it will make old age harder, not having kids. I’m scared for that. But I do think it’s a good idea for someone to spend the bulk of their adulthood raising kids if they don’t want to, just to have kids in old age. That’s not fair for the kids, for one thing.

I had to check the timestamp for this post because it sounds like exactly what I say, and think. I do think that older age - if we get to live that long (knock wood) - will be worse because we don't have kids. I try to think through how I will manage, and I don't always have good answers. But I also didn't think it was wise to have kids, just for the hope of an easier old age. It seemed like a bad bargain. Ask me in 25 years how I feel, I guess - today, late 40s, I feel good about the decision. Scared, as PP said, of old age; comfortable in middle age.

Most [b]AMERICAN[/b] kids don't want to take care of aging parents, and don't. Nursing homes are filled with mostly old people that have kids somewhere. I love my kids and hope we continue to have great relationships as when they move into adulthood. But I don't want or expect them to take on the burden of caring for me in old age.

EDITED IT FOR YOU

Non American kids will move you in and take care of you, but they will expect you to provide free full time childcare and help with housework. You will never, ever retire until you’re basically immobile. Trade-off, I guess.