Has every cheater you met been trashy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m not trashy at all. Quite the opposite. Very courteous and well respected by friends and in my profession. I dress modestly and I always have. Judge the behavior if you will but from the outside I’m a very normal person and the last person anyone would ever suspect.

Hahaha. You are deluding yourself. There is absolutely no way your character defect is limited to just cheating on your spouse - it shows up elsewhere in your life and people notice. You might think you aren’t trashy because the outside package isn’t obvious, but when the core is rotten the bruises eventually show on the outside.

Yes. Cheaters have something deeply wrong with them. It prevents them from correctly perceiving themselves (which can be a challenge even for the well adjusted). They see their cheating as an exception, not indicative of who they are.

I mean, you have to believe that right? Understanding that you are truly a terrible person would be too mentally damaging.

Omg. Yes. 100% this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Trashy" is a stupid, meaningless word, and anyone who uses it automatically lowers themselves in my eyes. They also likely use the word "classy," which has the same effect. I don't think of people in these terms.

Very untrue. Society labels people based on their behavior. Do you call a bank robber an aggressive withdrawer? Or an undocumented banker?

Someone who is showing a lack of morals can certainly be called trashy, a scumbag, or other words to call them out. As a society there is a moral code, and when one breaks it there are often repercussions. Cheat with a married person, and both will be appropriately be labeled for their behavior.

I simply disagree, don’t use that word, and stand by everything I wrote.

Trash behavior by trash people. It is what it is.

It must be comforting to have such a simple, childlike view of the world.

[Anonymous]

I am mid 40s and have been married for 20+ years, have never cheated, never met anyone I would even consider cheating with. However, I recently met someone who turned my world upside down, I think about him constantly, it is soul crushing. We are both married and I doubt he even remotely feels the same way about me. I am not trashy at all, I feel bad about feeling this way, but I can’t help myself. As unethical and illogical it is, I wish he would reach out to me.

[Anonymous]

I am lonely, disillusioned, overworked, taken for granted, disrespected, exhausted, etc. but not trashy. I want to cheat to finally enjoy something/someone of my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m not trashy at all. Quite the opposite. Very courteous and well respected by friends and in my profession. I dress modestly and I always have. Judge the behavior if you will but from the outside I’m a very normal person and the last person anyone would ever suspect.

Hahaha. You are deluding yourself. There is absolutely no way your character defect is limited to just cheating on your spouse - it shows up elsewhere in your life and people notice. You might think you aren’t trashy because the outside package isn’t obvious, but when the core is rotten the bruises eventually show on the outside.

Yes. Cheaters have something deeply wrong with them. It prevents them from correctly perceiving themselves (which can be a challenge even for the well adjusted). They see their cheating as an exception, not indicative of who they are.

I mean, you have to believe that right? Understanding that you are truly a terrible person would be too mentally damaging.

Omg. Yes. 100% this

Agreed. Their "I am exceptional" mental gymnastics to justify their behavior, or worse, their pride in their successful betrayal is nauseating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am lonely, disillusioned, overworked, taken for granted, disrespected, exhausted, etc. but not trashy. I want to cheat to finally enjoy something/someone of my own.

Or....you could leave your current relationship and just start a new one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Trashy" is a stupid, meaningless word, and anyone who uses it automatically lowers themselves in my eyes. They also likely use the word "classy," which has the same effect. I don't think of people in these terms.

Very untrue. Society labels people based on their behavior. Do you call a bank robber an aggressive withdrawer? Or an undocumented banker?

Someone who is showing a lack of morals can certainly be called trashy, a scumbag, or other words to call them out. As a society there is a moral code, and when one breaks it there are often repercussions. Cheat with a married person, and both will be appropriately be labeled for their behavior.

I simply disagree, don’t use that word, and stand by everything I wrote.

Trash behavior by trash people. It is what it is.

It must be comforting to have such a simple, childlike view of the world.

This is a BS response by a BS person trying to justify bad behavior. Nope. Cheating is trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am lonely, disillusioned, overworked, taken for granted, disrespected, exhausted, etc. but not trashy. I want to cheat to finally enjoy something/someone of my own.

Or....you could leave your current relationship and just start a new one.

Right. Like why is this never an option for these people? Do they do this with their job as well? Work under the table jobs? Have under the table kids they take care of? I just don't get it.

Sure you can wish you had that job instead of the one you have or that kid instead of the one you have or that wife instead of the one you have but then somehow committing yourself to that other thing while still saying you are fully committed to what you have is the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am lonely, disillusioned, overworked, taken for granted, disrespected, exhausted, etc. but not trashy. I want to cheat to finally enjoy something/someone of my own.

Or....you could leave your current relationship and just start a new one.

Easier said than done. I just live in a fantasy world, I never cheated, but live constantly in my head. The logistics of leaving my family and starting over are just too extraordinary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am lonely, disillusioned, overworked, taken for granted, disrespected, exhausted, etc. but not trashy. I want to cheat to finally enjoy something/someone of my own.

Or you could just set some boundaries for yourself and not be a trashy person.

Don't let yourself be taken for granted. Figure out what you want, see the good and bad in the scenarios and don't be disillusioned by things, Respect others and often respect will be granted. Create rest times into your schedule, and find people to be friends with in areas that you need companionship. If that ends in divorce so be it, but you will be more proud of your change in yourself and can move on to find someone more healthy. Right now I don't consider you a healthy person and you will attract other unhealthy people.

[Anonymous]

I know several men and women who have cheated. Not a single one trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am lonely, disillusioned, overworked, taken for granted, disrespected, exhausted, etc. but not trashy. I want to cheat to finally enjoy something/someone of my own.

Or....you could leave your current relationship and just start a new one.

Right. Like why is this never an option for these people? Do they do this with their job as well? Work under the table jobs? Have under the table kids they take care of? I just don't get it.

Sure you can wish you had that job instead of the one you have or that kid instead of the one you have or that wife instead of the one you have but then somehow committing yourself to that other thing while still saying you are fully committed to what you have is the problem.

Comparing a spouse to a job or another kid is just not the same. I am so deeply tied to my spouse, financially, socially, emotionally, I don’t want to hurt my family or another’s family. But I am so so lonely, I crave attention from this irrational crush I have, it makes me so sad. I never could have predicted these feelings I am having. This doesn’t make me a trashy person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know several men and women who have cheated. Not a single one trashy.

I disagree, cheating is trashy and anyone who cheats is trashy by definition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you any clue how prolific cheating is? Who are you people that get so hung up on monogamy? Read a book.

I never cheated so no clue. My mother has been monogamous to my father for 50 yrs. Sorry your views are warped.

You literally do not know if your parents have been monagamous. I found about at about their 50 year mark that they'd BOTH been unfaithful (her response to his cheating, I think). But they are still married, happily (seemingly, anyway). You literally do not know. My siblings do not know. They are now married 60 years.


Cheating is a trash move. BUT. The people who engae in it aren't trash people. I don't think people can be trash. You are more than your infidelity. Or your job. Or your parenthood. Or your fidelity. Those things are just one aspect of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you think JFK was trashy? And Clinton? And General Petraeus? Lots and lot of people have cheat- from every socioeconomic level and background. From WASP to trailer park. From car salesman to President.

I think all of them are scumbags. And Clinton was from a trailer park.

Clinton transcended his challenging past rather well, I think. Have you gone from child with an absent parent and virtually no money to the president of the united states? I don't think so. Just because somebody does not have money does not make theym trashy or less valuable than any other person. That's an embarrassing statement from you. I wish I knew you in real life so I could shun you. Yeesh.