Thank you, DCUM: parents and ILs weird with food

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get the complaints about inlaws not "serving" you lunch. Cant you just open the frog and get something out? I wouldn't expect to be served multiple meals at someones house.

I don’t think you understand the dynamic with these older people. You can’t just open the fridge without horribly offending them and causing a family row. Nor can you bring the food. Which is why that one poster has to fake that she won the Harry and David gift basket.

I don't get this. Yes you can. Your spouse was their child. They grew up in that house opening the refrigerator and making themselves food when hungry when parents weren't cooking. But now as an adult they are too afraid to open the frig? Grow a backbone. This is insane.

LOL. I was never allowed to make food or gets snacks in my house growing up. Ever.

Ugh, I'm sorry and that's weird. Like Carrie weird.
Do you wanna grab some chips or a bowl of ice cream and talk it out here? We are here for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since we are talking about eating practices in families,

Does anyone in your family eat half a banana or does everyone eat a whole one? In my family, we always had a half a banana unless the bananas were small. My BIL and DH say that the only people they know who eat half a banana are my sister, our Dad and me. For my family, it is usually put on cereal.

So, are you a half a banana family or a whole one?

If I'm putting one on oatmeal, I usually eat half. But if I'm just having a banana as a snack, I eat the whole banana.

I usually give my kids only 1/2 of a big banana because otherwise it constipates them. Found this out through much trial and error. If it's a small banana they can have the whole thing without a problem.

Yeah I usually split a giant one between my two toddlers for this reason.

If we're having cereal I'll slice one banana across two cereals. But whole ones for snacks. Didn't know they constipate-- I think of all fruit as fiber.

They have a constipating effect for many people, which is why they're recommended as a food when you have diarrhea.

[Anonymous]

My ILs are so messed up about food that my MIL and my FIL are 70 and 80 and each do their own grocery shopping and each has their own set "time" in the kitchen which means that FIL only eats breakfast and dinner and MIL only eats lunch. It's very, very weird.

[Anonymous]

We have the opposite problem. My in laws bring a bunch of random things when they visit and leave them with us. Ham hocks, super fruity wine and beer, a load of bacon, "this pineapple on sale," mango salsa, etc. Nothing for a full meal or dish. They do also bring the full snack shelf from Trader Joes, so that's a plus.

I adore them and my husband and I think this is hilarious.

I'm still not sure what to do with the collection of cherry wine and pumpkin beer we have accumulated, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get the complaints about inlaws not "serving" you lunch. Cant you just open the frog and get something out? I wouldn't expect to be served multiple meals at someones house.

I don’t think you understand the dynamic with these older people. You can’t just open the fridge without horribly offending them and causing a family row. Nor can you bring the food. Which is why that one poster has to fake that she won the Harry and David gift basket.

I don't get this. Yes you can. Your spouse was their child. They grew up in that house opening the refrigerator and making themselves food when hungry when parents weren't cooking. But now as an adult they are too afraid to open the frig? Grow a backbone. This is insane.

LOL. I was never allowed to make food or gets snacks in my house growing up. Ever.

Ugh, I'm sorry and that's weird. Like Carrie weird.
Do you wanna grab some chips or a bowl of ice cream and talk it out here? We are here for you!

I don’t need to talk it out; what you need is awareness that People Are Different From You. So stop with your dismissive attitude and “easy fixes” when you post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get the complaints about inlaws not "serving" you lunch. Cant you just open the frog and get something out? I wouldn't expect to be served multiple meals at someones house.

I don’t think you understand the dynamic with these older people. You can’t just open the fridge without horribly offending them and causing a family row. Nor can you bring the food. Which is why that one poster has to fake that she won the Harry and David gift basket.

I don't get this. Yes you can. Your spouse was their child. They grew up in that house opening the refrigerator and making themselves food when hungry when parents weren't cooking. But now as an adult they are too afraid to open the frig? Grow a backbone. This is insane.

LOL. I was never allowed to make food or gets snacks in my house growing up. Ever.

Ugh, I'm sorry and that's weird. Like Carrie weird.
Do you wanna grab some chips or a bowl of ice cream and talk it out here? We are here for you!

I don’t need to talk it out; what you need is awareness that People Are Different From You. So stop with your dismissive attitude and “easy fixes” when you post.

Dang, I'm not sure if you need a snack or a hug? Maybe both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get the complaints about inlaws not "serving" you lunch. Cant you just open the frog and get something out? I wouldn't expect to be served multiple meals at someones house.

I don’t think you understand the dynamic with these older people. You can’t just open the fridge without horribly offending them and causing a family row. Nor can you bring the food. Which is why that one poster has to fake that she won the Harry and David gift basket.

I don't get this. Yes you can. Your spouse was their child. They grew up in that house opening the refrigerator and making themselves food when hungry when parents weren't cooking. But now as an adult they are too afraid to open the frig? Grow a backbone. This is insane.

LOL. I was never allowed to make food or gets snacks in my house growing up. Ever.

Ugh, I'm sorry and that's weird. Like Carrie weird.
Do you wanna grab some chips or a bowl of ice cream and talk it out here? We are here for you!

I don’t need to talk it out; what you need is awareness that People Are Different From You. So stop with your dismissive attitude and “easy fixes” when you post.

Dang, I'm not sure if you need a snack or a hug? Maybe both.

I am sure that you need perspective. A touch of class wouldn’t hurt, either, but if you don’t have it by now…

[Anonymous]

I'm sure most of this behavior is age-related, but I wonder if at least some of it is passive-aggressive hosts wishing their multi-day houseguests would stop acting like they're at an all-inclusive resort and treat everybody to a meal out, or at least get out of the house for a bit and get yourself a meal while your host has some downtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
LOL. I was never allowed to make food or gets snacks in my house growing up. Ever.

Ugh, I'm sorry and that's weird. Like Carrie weird.
Do you wanna grab some chips or a bowl of ice cream and talk it out here? We are here for you!

I don’t need to talk it out; what you need is awareness that People Are Different From You. So stop with your dismissive attitude and “easy fixes” when you post.

Dang, I'm not sure if you need a snack or a hug? Maybe both.

I am sure that you need perspective. A touch of class wouldn’t hurt, either, but if you don’t have it by now…

NP, and I was allowed to make food and get snacks, but I think talk it out poster sounds fun and I would happily down some Jeni's with you. Clearly traumatized poster isn't ready yet.

[Anonymous]

When I host able-bodied houseguests, I make it clear right up front that it's an "open fridge policy" in my house: I will cook and serve dinners, but breakfast and lunch are DIY/on your own so help yourselves; my kitchen will be fully stocked with standard breakfast and lunch fare. Ain't nobody got time to be cooking and cleaning up after able-bodied houseguests 3x a day.

[Anonymous]

You guys are equally weird for not just..eating if you want to. You are adults. You don’t need your in-laws permission to get food or for them to serve you. Do it doesn’t create WWIII. That is so overblown dramatic. Maybe they will gripe or give you hard time. Eat your hot pocket and don’t engage in an argument. This shouldn’t be hard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both my parents and my ILs are weird about food, cling the kitchen, etc. They have these arbitrary rules and make unilateral decisions that often don’t work for me, DH and our young kids. Because of DCUM, I no longer leave us to their mercy, and always have a plan. My MIL just announced that she’s not serving lunch because we’re having a “big dinner” and is “serving it early” (spoiler alert: it’s a regular-sized meal to be served at 7 p.m.), so DH and I are taking out girls out to lunch. We’re ignoring her pouts, getting fed, and are getting a break from being in their small house with nothing to do.

DCUM is seriously helpful sometimes. DH no longer feels guilt, either.

I would have zero problem telling my mom or mil that would not work….we’ll be eating lunch out. No secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure most of this behavior is age-related, but I wonder if at least some of it is passive-aggressive hosts wishing their multi-day houseguests would stop acting like they're at an all-inclusive resort and treat everybody to a meal out, or at least get out of the house for a bit and get yourself a meal while your host has some downtime.

Maybe one in a million? Lots of people are very controlling about food, and somehow one's adult children are the perfect vessel for their parents' issues.

My mom has sort of calmed down about food, but she doesn't think people who have come for a visit should be gallivanting around town, paying for restaurant food and who knows what-all. We go anyway, leaving her more time to be annoyed about the way my BIL is sure to corner all leftovers for my nephew, who's in his 20s and I *think* might be able to fend for himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I host able-bodied houseguests, I make it clear right up front that it's an "open fridge policy" in my house: I will cook and serve dinners, but breakfast and lunch are DIY/on your own so help yourselves; my kitchen will be fully stocked with standard breakfast and lunch fare. Ain't nobody got time to be cooking and cleaning up after able-bodied houseguests 3x a day.

AMEN.

Adults who are guests, can also cook a meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad our generation is finally the one to stop food weirdness.

Nothing to stop. Adults need to have a backbone.