Thank you, DCUM: parents and ILs weird with food

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that limit food? I don’t think I am sheltered, but I don’t know anyone like this.

I feel blessed that this is one twist neither my dysfunctional family nor my awful in laws have embraced. Solidarity to all those being subjected to starvation tactics. WTAF?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that limit food? I don’t think I am sheltered, but I don’t know anyone like this.

Right? I just don't get it at all and no way would I keep my mouth shut like so many do here when in-laws or parents pull crap like this. So glad mine and dh's have an open fridge policy and no dictates about skipping meals or not being in the kitchen at certain times 🙄

[Anonymous]

Some gems:

1. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/607870.page
Post 9:

...
Breakfast was fend for yourself bagels/toast each day, which is fine but not filling. Lunch was never served (and MIL got mad when I suggested we go get food), because it would "spoil dinner". So we ate bagels and dinner each day. By the third day I claimed having to go to the pharmacy and took DS for lunch.
...
On the morning we opened gifts, we were to have brunch. DS (and therefor DH and I) woke up at 7. BIL slept in until 10. MIL decreed we would eat after gifts. She had purchased dozens of gifts for everyone, which was sweet...but it literally took 3 hours. DS had a melt down (hunger!) and she refused to let him snack. I started to pack him up to take him out for food, and she fussed at me for being melodramatic. She cooked breakfast for him then, and made the rest of us wait until 1:00 to eat.

My favorite part of being home is being able to eat when I'm hungry!

2. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/60/607870.page
Post 14:

Staying at BIL's house, where MIL/FIL also live. BIL has three kids. BIL/wife wake up some time before noon and serve breakfast at 1pm. No food or snacks for anyone until "lunch" at 5pm. Dinner is around 10pm.

3. No one eats in this house
(the whole damn 28 page thread)
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/691252.page

4. A classic BKL minithread:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/45/814282.page

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your small children are infants they do not need to be fed around the clock, every few hours. Of course the kitchen is closed! Your mom will be treating you all to a fabulous bbq dinner soon. Why you would need to fill up on gross gas station food is beyond me.

Young kids can’t go from 7 am until 4 pm! Do you have little kids? I’m not for the snacking all the time but this is crazy.

This is why there is a serious obesity epidemic. Young children do not need to eat greasy convenience food. If they are hungry between meals they should get an apple out of the fruit bowl, sit on the front doorstep and have a nice, healthy, nutritious snack. They do not need a bacon, nacho cheese, funion burger.

Do you seriously think small children should go from 7AM to 4PM with only an apple in between? Do you not feed your children lunch?

If I am serving a late lunch/early dinner bbq at 4pm, I would not expect to have a pre-lunch/dinner meal especially if I had just eaten a big bowl of cereal that morning. If you really must eat, a delicious piece of fruit should be enough to sustain them until the bbq starts. I always keep a well stocked fruit bowl on the breakfast bar - you don't need to enter the kitchen - just grab an apple, banana, orange or pear, go sit outside in the fresh air and enjoy!

The 4th of July bbq spread is a much heavier meal than one would usually eat. I can't imagine eating a big, salty, heavily processed turkey sandwich from Panera only to turn right around and eat bbq just a few hours later.

You have food issues. Please don’t pass them onto your kids. Eat normal portions and don’t gorge on dinner.

5. And the post that probably birthed the legend:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/105/691252.page
Post 12

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dinner time -- how's it going? Did everyone get a nice big Christmas dinner? Or were you fed a Christmas lunch that the hosts thought was so big at 2 pm that no one should need to eat again until Monday morning?

I served light appetizers for lunch and then a big dinner at 3 followed by dessert. After that, no more food - nada, zip. I'm still not that hungry this morning and my feet are sore from standing in the kitchen making that nice meal yesterday, so I'm not making breakfast this morning. Burger King is only a short 5 mile walk away.

Signed,

The Host

[Anonymous]

👏👏👏👏😍😍😍😍👏👏👏👏👏

[Anonymous]

Yes! These threads made me realize I was not a drama queen for bringing my own groceries to my in-laws. I have food allergies so use it as an excuse to make sure I can eat. Otherwise I’d have to live off of eggs and easy Mac.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that limit food? I don’t think I am sheltered, but I don’t know anyone like this.

I think its an age thing. My parents weren't like that growing up but I hear from others who visit/stay with them that they pull that kind of stuff. I had to rescue one cousin who was starving.

Definitely an age thing. My mom used to complain about my grandparents (her IL's) doing it, but then as she got older she started doing it too!
One time my brother was visiting with his kids (I think they were around 6 years old at the time) and got so sick of waiting for the "big dinner" that was so big they weren't allowed to eat lunch--he just called up the local Dominoes and had a pizza delivered. That caused a huge fight that led to them not speaking for over a year!

[Anonymous]

PP with two recent examples of grandmothers being weird about food:

Three of my mom’s grandchildren (and 2 are my DC) have anaphylactic nut allergies. My mom recently complained that her other grandchild with multiple nut allergies “takes forever to decide what to order in a restaurant or even when he visits my house because ‘he has to read all of the ingredients’ “. She was beyond exasperated and annoyed with him.

I interrupted her to explain for the 1000th time that GC MUST carefully study each ingredient to protect his life!” Ugh.


My MIL begins any large meal by telling us all that she’s been saving her calories/fasted/dieted so that she can “enjoy” and indulge. One, I don’t care and two, she says this in front of her 3 teen granddaughters - way to model disordered eating.

I once broke down and sobbed when MIL complimented me on my postpartum weight loss: I had PPD and anxiety that caused me to become very ill and subsequently, I was having trouble eating and lost weight too quickly. So, in the middle of crying I explained that yes, I had lost weight but my anxiety made it so that I truly couldn’t eat properly and lost my appetite. Her comforting words, “you’re so lucky! My stress response is to eat and get fat.”

[Anonymous]

My kooky MIL once hosted a 12 noon Baby Shower Luncheon for about (30 women in her cramped TH) but got so distracted by playing baby shower games that LUNCH wasn’t even served until about 330. Several guests to include another pregnant lady, had to leave a few hours in - without eating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that limit food? I don’t think I am sheltered, but I don’t know anyone like this.

I think its an age thing. My parents weren't like that growing up but I hear from others who visit/stay with them that they pull that kind of stuff. I had to rescue one cousin who was starving.

+2 it’s age. Older people don’t eat as much or as often, and only like certain types of food. And if they don’t regularly have younger people around (younger being relative, I’m really talking of working age adults in our 30s and 40s and our younger children), they forget how often and how much other people like to eat. Not every older person is like this of course, and some don’t do it deliberately. But it’s definitely a thing.

[Anonymous]

My 70+ parents eat like birds, and only steamed veggies and lean protein. However, when the grandkids come, they stock up on cookies and hot dogs and all the kids' favorites. My mother does have a problem with food, and she used to make the most terrible comments about DD and I being fat and eating too much, but with age, she's mellowed a lot.

[Anonymous]

I have the most vivid memory of going to my grandparents best friends house with them as a kid, maybe 12 or so, and being given ONE PANCAKE for brunch. That was it. I kept thinking...Will there be more food? But was too polite to ask. This was a group of retired doctors!

[Anonymous]

These are my favorite threads on DCUM. I love the lady who brings the Harry & David gift basket she “won in a work raffle.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the most vivid memory of going to my grandparents best friends house with them as a kid, maybe 12 or so, and being given ONE PANCAKE for brunch. That was it. I kept thinking...Will there be more food? But was too polite to ask. This was a group of retired doctors!

Reminds me of the time I was newly pregnant and starving all the time and MIL served me a single, plain Eggo waffle for breakfast. When I asked for a second waffle I was denied because then there wouldn’t be enough for tomorrow’s breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:👏👏👏👏😍😍😍😍👏👏👏👏👏

It is my joy and pleasure, as Second Assistant Branch Manager of the Dramatic Family-Sized Food Disorders Unit of DCUM. The benefits may not be great, and the training uncompensated, and the supervision nearly nonexistent, but at least there is no salary.

Thank you, thank you.

[Anonymous]

Seen more than one post like this. Clearly DCUM has done a public service, angering controlling MILs (and occasional FILs), but benefitting now-fed kids and their parents. Win/win.