My DH really disappointed me this Christmas by . . .

[Anonymous]

There ain’t no Christmas without Christ. Praise the Lord!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was upset because my DH gave me COVID this Christmas and we had to stay home and cancel all our plans.

My DH also had covid, covid ruined our plans two chrismases in a row, kids cried, and I had Been telling him to go get a booster for a
month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:DH was so appreciative of his gifts and truly enjoyed the day. I am so happy to see him happy, he deserves it. For the DWs complaining about lack of gifts just buy yourself something and wrap it! Hope you don’t have kids who watch you martyr out and not have anything to open. So damaging.

I didn’t actually see anyone complaining about this, but this advice is so bizarre.

You buy your own gift, wrap it, and then open it in front of your husband when he opens the gifts you got him? Do you both pretend that he got it for you? Is it all a show for the kids? And why don’t your kids give you a present?

IDK. I buy my own gift, as I am very particular in what I like. It never makes it under the tree, especially because this year it’s a very well bred Dutch Warmblood foal and won’t fit!

I honestly don’t want my DH to have to try to buy me gifts. He isn’t good at it, but so am certainly no martyr. I don’t understand complaining about the same thing over and over and not doing something to change the dynamic. It is like some people enjoy the drama of it. Not me!

I don’t understand why you would say that something you bought yourself is a Christmas present from your husband. It clearly isn’t. You and he both know that. Why the weird game?

It is weird that your only idea of a gift is a tangible item purchased by another and wrapped, then placed under a tree. Are you think inflexible in all walks of your life?

If I open it and you don't actually know what "you bought me", then its not a gift from you. How hard is that to understand?

Oh, DH knows what he bought me. I don’t tend to buy another horse without any input from him beforehand. You do realize that’s a five-figure purchase, right?

.

I should also add that this isn’t something you just go to a store (or farm) and buy one, even if it is my Christmas present. I literally shopped for several months around the country, looking for the right bloodlines, movement, and temperament. It’s a huge gift from DH, but also a very important one that needs to get right as I hopefully will be able to develop the horse for the next 15-20 years. Still, it’s a gift.

It's a huge gift, and I think it's awesome. I'd love to have one too. Maybe not a foal, I'm not up to that level of training at this point. I'd like a nice settled older gelding. Have your DH call mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all just don’t know what is important in Christmas. Why you heathens bother to celebrate the birth of the Christ is beyond me.

Tradtion. Nolt everyone who celebrates Christmas is a bible thumper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was upset because my DH gave me COVID this Christmas and we had to stay home and cancel all our plans.

My DH also had covid, covid ruined our plans two chrismases in a row, kids cried, and I had Been telling him to go get a booster for a
month.

If it makes you feel better, he probably still would have gotten Covid had he gotten the booster. I know tons of boosted people who have it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DW ruined yet another Christmas by starting the day complaining about how I need to “change,” i.e. change my career to suit her and be around all the time to do the house repairs, etc. she wants. She broke down crying, accused me of being emotionally unintelligent and hit everyone upset all before 9 am.

I was all ready to sympathize until I got to the i.e. Asking you to get a different job isn’t asking *you* to change, and if you don’t understand that then she might have a point about your emotional intelligence.

But it does sound like a bummer if a Christmas and that sucks.

Seriously? NP here. Of course it is. Careers are often fundamental to who people are. What if he's an ER physician and she wants him to go work at a pharmaceutical company for better hours? That's quite a change, and a ridiculous request.

You have EQ problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for horse lady—NP—I’m still not getting why this is a present from your husband. Is it his money? If you’re using your money to buy something that you’ve picked out for yourself, isn’t that a present from you to you? That’s totally okay—I buy myself presents every Christmas! But I don’t tell people they are from my husband. I’m just trying to understand what makes it a present from your husband instead of f just something you bought for yourself.

Well, I have 4 horses already of various older ages, 1 already retired. I was sorrowfully talking about another one of mine getting older and retiring soon (he needs to step down from his current level due to arthritis), and DH said, “well, why don’t you find a really nice baby to replace him, and I’ll buy it for you for Christmas!” That SEEMS like a gift to me? It was a lovely surprise as an additional horse is a large ongoing expense, and I hadn’t even considered it.

I find it very weird how fixated some of you are on having something under the tree in wrapping paper as the only “gift” that constitutes a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was so appreciative of his gifts and truly enjoyed the day. I am so happy to see him happy, he deserves it. For the DWs complaining about lack of gifts just buy yourself something and wrap it! Hope you don’t have kids who watch you martyr out and not have anything to open. So damaging.

I didn’t actually see anyone complaining about this, but this advice is so bizarre.

You buy your own gift, wrap it, and then open it in front of your husband when he opens the gifts you got him? Do you both pretend that he got it for you? Is it all a show for the kids? And why don’t your kids give you a present?

IDK. I buy my own gift, as I am very particular in what I like. It never makes it under the tree, especially because this year it’s a very well bred Dutch Warmblood foal and won’t fit!

I honestly don’t want my DH to have to try to buy me gifts. He isn’t good at it, but so am certainly no martyr. I don’t understand complaining about the same thing over and over and not doing something to change the dynamic. It is like some people enjoy the drama of it. Not me!

I don’t understand why you would say that something you bought yourself is a Christmas present from your husband. It clearly isn’t. You and he both know that. Why the weird game?

It is weird that your only idea of a gift is a tangible item purchased by another and wrapped, then placed under a tree. Are you think inflexible in all walks of your life?

If I open it and you don't actually know what "you bought me", then its not a gift from you. How hard is that to understand?

Oh, DH knows what he bought me. I don’t tend to buy another horse without any input from him beforehand. You do realize that’s a five-figure purchase, right?

.

I should also add that this isn’t something you just go to a store (or farm) and buy one, even if it is my Christmas present. I literally shopped for several months around the country, looking for the right bloodlines, movement, and temperament. It’s a huge gift from DH, but also a very important one that needs to get right as I hopefully will be able to develop the horse for the next 15-20 years. Still, it’s a gift.

It's a huge gift, and I think it's awesome. I'd love to have one too. Maybe not a foal, I'm not up to that level of training at this point. I'd like a nice settled older gelding. Have your DH call mine.

I hope a really nice, sound schoolmaster comes your way soon! Xo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Chinese restaurant was so busy it wasn’t taking phone orders so he drove over and placed the order in person, then drove back and picked it up.

Why is that a disappointment? Sounds thoughtful to me. My DH went out for Indian food and it was delicious. (We grew up with the Chinese food tradition but hate fighting the crowds so we switched 10 years ago.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all just don’t know what is important in Christmas. Why you heathens bother to celebrate the birth of the Christ is beyond me.

Tradtion. Nolt everyone who celebrates Christmas is a bible thumper.

+1 My god doesn’t like their god.

[Anonymous]

DH still has no job after nearly a year. Disappointed is an understatement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for horse lady—NP—I’m still not getting why this is a present from your husband. Is it his money? If you’re using your money to buy something that you’ve picked out for yourself, isn’t that a present from you to you? That’s totally okay—I buy myself presents every Christmas! But I don’t tell people they are from my husband. I’m just trying to understand what makes it a present from your husband instead of f just something you bought for yourself.

Well, I have 4 horses already of various older ages, 1 already retired. I was sorrowfully talking about another one of mine getting older and retiring soon (he needs to step down from his current level due to arthritis), and DH said, “well, why don’t you find a really nice baby to replace him, and I’ll buy it for you for Christmas!” That SEEMS like a gift to me? It was a lovely surprise as an additional horse is a large ongoing expense, and I hadn’t even considered it.

I find it very weird how fixated some of you are on having something under the tree in wrapping paper as the only “gift” that constitutes a gift.

No one is fixated on this.
Honestly, I find it even more odd if you spend tons of time and money picking out a present for yourself that you wrap up and put under the tree, pretending it’s from your husband.

Your husband didn’t get you anything. It’s fine. Why are you so caught up in saying this was a gift from him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for horse lady—NP—I’m still not getting why this is a present from your husband. Is it his money? If you’re using your money to buy something that you’ve picked out for yourself, isn’t that a present from you to you? That’s totally okay—I buy myself presents every Christmas! But I don’t tell people they are from my husband. I’m just trying to understand what makes it a present from your husband instead of f just something you bought for yourself.

Well, I have 4 horses already of various older ages, 1 already retired. I was sorrowfully talking about another one of mine getting older and retiring soon (he needs to step down from his current level due to arthritis), and DH said, “well, why don’t you find a really nice baby to replace him, and I’ll buy it for you for Christmas!” That SEEMS like a gift to me? It was a lovely surprise as an additional horse is a large ongoing expense, and I hadn’t even considered it.

I find it very weird how fixated some of you are on having something under the tree in wrapping paper as the only “gift” that constitutes a gift.

No one is fixated on this.
Honestly, I find it even more odd if you spend tons of time and money picking out a present for yourself that you wrap up and put under the tree, pretending it’s from your husband.

Your husband didn’t get you anything. It’s fine. Why are you so caught up in saying this was a gift from him?

Why are you so caught up in saying it isn’t a gift?! He literally paid for this horse and gave it to me. What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DW ruined yet another Christmas by starting the day complaining about how I need to “change,” i.e. change my career to suit her and be around all the time to do the house repairs, etc. she wants. She broke down crying, accused me of being emotionally unintelligent and hit everyone upset all before 9 am.

I was all ready to sympathize until I got to the i.e. Asking you to get a different job isn’t asking *you* to change, and if you don’t understand that then she might have a point about your emotional intelligence.

But it does sound like a bummer if a Christmas and that sucks.

Seriously? NP here. Of course it is. Careers are often fundamental to who people are. What if he's an ER physician and she wants him to go work at a pharmaceutical company for better hours? That's quite a change, and a ridiculous request.

You have EQ problems.

Yes what about the wife attacking the husband on Christmas…very low emotional iq there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for horse lady—NP—I’m still not getting why this is a present from your husband. Is it his money? If you’re using your money to buy something that you’ve picked out for yourself, isn’t that a present from you to you? That’s totally okay—I buy myself presents every Christmas! But I don’t tell people they are from my husband. I’m just trying to understand what makes it a present from your husband instead of f just something you bought for yourself.

Well, I have 4 horses already of various older ages, 1 already retired. I was sorrowfully talking about another one of mine getting older and retiring soon (he needs to step down from his current level due to arthritis), and DH said, “well, why don’t you find a really nice baby to replace him, and I’ll buy it for you for Christmas!” That SEEMS like a gift to me? It was a lovely surprise as an additional horse is a large ongoing expense, and I hadn’t even considered it.

I find it very weird how fixated some of you are on having something under the tree in wrapping paper as the only “gift” that constitutes a gift.

No one is fixated on this.
Honestly, I find it even more odd if you spend tons of time and money picking out a present for yourself that you wrap up and put under the tree, pretending it’s from your husband.

Your husband didn’t get you anything. It’s fine. Why are you so caught up in saying this was a gift from him?

Why are you so caught up in saying it isn’t a gift?! He literally paid for this horse and gave it to me. What is wrong with you?

You said that you bought it yourself earlier in the thread.

IDK. I buy my own gift, as I am very particular in what I like. It never makes it under the tree, especially because this year it’s a very well bred Dutch Warmblood foal and won’t fit!