My DH really disappointed me this Christmas by . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was so appreciative of his gifts and truly enjoyed the day. I am so happy to see him happy, he deserves it. For the DWs complaining about lack of gifts just buy yourself something and wrap it! Hope you don’t have kids who watch you martyr out and not have anything to open. So damaging.

I didn’t actually see anyone complaining about this, but this advice is so bizarre.

You buy your own gift, wrap it, and then open it in front of your husband when he opens the gifts you got him? Do you both pretend that he got it for you? Is it all a show for the kids? And why don’t your kids give you a present?

IDK. I buy my own gift, as I am very particular in what I like. It never makes it under the tree, especially because this year it’s a very well bred Dutch Warmblood foal and won’t fit!

I honestly don’t want my DH to have to try to buy me gifts. He isn’t good at it, but so am certainly no martyr. I don’t understand complaining about the same thing over and over and not doing something to change the dynamic. It is like some people enjoy the drama of it. Not me!

I don’t understand why you would say that something you bought yourself is a Christmas present from your husband. It clearly isn’t. You and he both know that. Why the weird game?

It is weird that your only idea of a gift is a tangible item purchased by another and wrapped, then placed under a tree. Are you think inflexible in all walks of your life?

If I open it and you don't actually know what "you bought me", then its not a gift from you. How hard is that to understand?

[Anonymous]

Christmas is not about who got whom the best or most expensive gifts. We should all be centered in the incarnation of God and not on ephemeral material things. It is our attachments to things and people that hinder our spiritual growth. Maybe if you focused more on the child in the manger and not the gifts beneath the tree you’d have a stronger and happier marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We got into a fight a few days ago because I booked Reagan instead of Dulles. He refused to come along on our family vacation and today he didn't even call.

He's cheating. Sorry

+1

I usually don’t jump to this conclusion, but yes. I hope you have a job and your own money, because not spending Christmas with you and your kids is an escalation. Get your ducks in a row if they aren’t already.

[Anonymous]

My DH is usually bad at presents probably because he is last minute. I told him this year I just wanted a nonfiction book since I’ve read a ton of fiction lately. I figured this was really hard to screw up. Instead…he buys me a fiction book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We got into a fight a few days ago because I booked Reagan instead of Dulles. He refused to come along on our family vacation and today he didn't even call.

I wouldn’t have gone either, Reagan is horrible. JFC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was so appreciative of his gifts and truly enjoyed the day. I am so happy to see him happy, he deserves it. For the DWs complaining about lack of gifts just buy yourself something and wrap it! Hope you don’t have kids who watch you martyr out and not have anything to open. So damaging.

I didn’t actually see anyone complaining about this, but this advice is so bizarre.

You buy your own gift, wrap it, and then open it in front of your husband when he opens the gifts you got him? Do you both pretend that he got it for you? Is it all a show for the kids? And why don’t your kids give you a present?

IDK. I buy my own gift, as I am very particular in what I like. It never makes it under the tree, especially because this year it’s a very well bred Dutch Warmblood foal and won’t fit!

I honestly don’t want my DH to have to try to buy me gifts. He isn’t good at it, but so am certainly no martyr. I don’t understand complaining about the same thing over and over and not doing something to change the dynamic. It is like some people enjoy the drama of it. Not me!

I don’t understand why you would say that something you bought yourself is a Christmas present from your husband. It clearly isn’t. You and he both know that. Why the weird game?

It is weird that your only idea of a gift is a tangible item purchased by another and wrapped, then placed under a tree. Are you think inflexible in all walks of your life?

If I open it and you don't actually know what "you bought me", then its not a gift from you. How hard is that to understand?

Oh, DH knows what he bought me. I don’t tend to buy another horse without any input from him beforehand. You do realize that’s a five-figure purchase, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was so appreciative of his gifts and truly enjoyed the day. I am so happy to see him happy, he deserves it. For the DWs complaining about lack of gifts just buy yourself something and wrap it! Hope you don’t have kids who watch you martyr out and not have anything to open. So damaging.

I didn’t actually see anyone complaining about this, but this advice is so bizarre.

You buy your own gift, wrap it, and then open it in front of your husband when he opens the gifts you got him? Do you both pretend that he got it for you? Is it all a show for the kids? And why don’t your kids give you a present?

IDK. I buy my own gift, as I am very particular in what I like. It never makes it under the tree, especially because this year it’s a very well bred Dutch Warmblood foal and won’t fit!

I honestly don’t want my DH to have to try to buy me gifts. He isn’t good at it, but so am certainly no martyr. I don’t understand complaining about the same thing over and over and not doing something to change the dynamic. It is like some people enjoy the drama of it. Not me!

I don’t understand why you would say that something you bought yourself is a Christmas present from your husband. It clearly isn’t. You and he both know that. Why the weird game?

It is weird that your only idea of a gift is a tangible item purchased by another and wrapped, then placed under a tree. Are you think inflexible in all walks of your life?

If I open it and you don't actually know what "you bought me", then its not a gift from you. How hard is that to understand?

Oh, DH knows what he bought me. I don’t tend to buy another horse without any input from him beforehand. You do realize that’s a five-figure purchase, right?

.

I should also add that this isn’t something you just go to a store (or farm) and buy one, even if it is my Christmas present. I literally shopped for several months around the country, looking for the right bloodlines, movement, and temperament. It’s a huge gift from DH, but also a very important one that needs to get right as I hopefully will be able to develop the horse for the next 15-20 years. Still, it’s a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH was so appreciative of his gifts and truly enjoyed the day. I am so happy to see him happy, he deserves it. For the DWs complaining about lack of gifts just buy yourself something and wrap it! Hope you don’t have kids who watch you martyr out and not have anything to open. So damaging.

I didn’t actually see anyone complaining about this, but this advice is so bizarre.

You buy your own gift, wrap it, and then open it in front of your husband when he opens the gifts you got him? Do you both pretend that he got it for you? Is it all a show for the kids? And why don’t your kids give you a present?

IDK. I buy my own gift, as I am very particular in what I like. It never makes it under the tree, especially because this year it’s a very well bred Dutch Warmblood foal and won’t fit!

I honestly don’t want my DH to have to try to buy me gifts. He isn’t good at it, but so am certainly no martyr. I don’t understand complaining about the same thing over and over and not doing something to change the dynamic. It is like some people enjoy the drama of it. Not me!

I don’t understand why you would say that something you bought yourself is a Christmas present from your husband. It clearly isn’t. You and he both know that. Why the weird game?

It is weird that your only idea of a gift is a tangible item purchased by another and wrapped, then placed under a tree. Are you think inflexible in all walks of your life?

It’s not that it isn’t tangible. It’s that it isn’t actually from her husband. I get it in the pp’s case where there needs to be a gift opened (or discussed in the case of something intangible) in front of the in-laws. But if it’s just the two of you, and you both know that your spouse didn’t get you a gift, why would you pretend that he did?

[Anonymous]

DH took us on a last minute week-long beach vacation, and it was awesome. No complaints. On our way home now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Christmas is not about who got whom the best or most expensive gifts. We should all be centered in the incarnation of God and not on ephemeral material things. It is our attachments to things and people that hinder our spiritual growth. Maybe if you focused more on the child in the manger and not the gifts beneath the tree you’d have a stronger and happier marriage.

Who are you talking to? I haven’t seen one complaint about the gifts beneath the tree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DW ruined yet another Christmas by starting the day complaining about how I need to “change,” i.e. change my career to suit her and be around all the time to do the house repairs, etc. she wants. She broke down crying, accused me of being emotionally unintelligent and hit everyone upset all before 9 am.

I was all ready to sympathize until I got to the i.e. Asking you to get a different job isn’t asking *you* to change, and if you don’t understand that then she might have a point about your emotional intelligence.

But it does sound like a bummer if a Christmas and that sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll get it started. Always look forward to these threads in Valentines and Christmas.

Please OP. No more husband bashing threads. Sorry you made a bad decision marrying him but please no more threads.

[Anonymous]

No disappointment here or from dh. We both got each other exactly what we wanted, we had a great time hosting on Christmas eve and celebrating on Christmas day with our kids. He even surprised me with new lingerie and a toy which I found in my drawer last night and had fun using it.

[Anonymous]

No disappointment! We don’t exchange gifts so we avoid that pressure and concentrate on our kids and now grandkids. When we got home last night he lit a fire in our bedroom fire place and things quickly got very romantic and physical. He definitely didn’t disappoint me!

[Anonymous]

I wanted some good, down and dirty love for XMas and he didn’t come through…