Why do some folks send Xmas cards so late?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a grinch, but holiday cards after December 25th aren't as nice. After December 31, they go straight in the trash after I open them. I love displaying cards and like it when they arrive 2 weeks before Christmas.

I have this pet peeve with birthday cards too. 90% of cards for me or my kids arrive after their birthday! Whereas I put up a birthday banner for the week before their birthday (I have little kids) and would like to leave the cards displayed on our island that week.

In our family we don’t open birthday cards until our actual birthday. We save them as they arrive in the mail and then open them along with our birthday presents. We display the cards for a week or so after our birthday to enjoy the good wishes from friends and family.

We don’t celebrate before the actual birthday- that is considered bad luck in many cultures.

[Anonymous]

OP we are really busy too. My wife did Thanksgiving our house. We were all dressed up including the kids so did some Xmas photos that day. My wife then got card done Sunday after Thanksgiving and we mailed out 60 cards around December 1. So three weeks ago today.

We got 10 as of today. And of that 10 they were the busier people. Like my wife and I with three kids on school, work, traveling at Holidays we don’t have luxury of waiting till last minute.

Plus with a few Jewish friends on list we want it to teach them for their Holiday and with some European people on list can’t wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it a passive aggressive thing? Control thing? Just Laziness?

I ask as a few folks year after year mail it so late.

I also go to NY to see family most years and some cousins will be at Xmas with us and when I get back home to the DMV the card is there. Why mail it so late that you see me in person at Xmas before I get the card? I get folks are busy we all been there. But I had one person mail literally a card that is a Christmas card I get it after Xmas every year the last 30 years!! I usually have taken down cards by then so awkward.

One year my wife and I had a lot of things going on Illness, death of my mother and paired down list and did not mail the late people as we assumed only sending us a card since we sent one to them. Guess what they still came. Usually day after Xmas.

Why do they do it? Two are now literally empty nesters and retired. So they have time.

Wow.

OP, are you capable of reading your own post as if it were a stranger's? Because to an objective stranger there are red flags brighter than Rudolph's nose all over your vent.

"Passive aggressive, control, laziness"? Why did your mind leap directly to negative behaviors and bad intent? Maybe check whether you've been subjected to things like that yourself, and project onto others (who are doing nothing more awful than...sending cards late?) that they must be...doing what, exactly? How does it exert "control" over the card's recipient if the card is late? How is it "passive aggressive" to send it late? Maybe you think it's a message to you that "I tossed this in the mail but don't really care--"? Laziness is just a big old judgement on your part. Read the posts by people here talking about how life does get in the way. Are they lazy, in your eyes?

This paragraph is downright odd:
One year my wife and I had a lot of things going on Illness, death of my mother and paired down list and did not mail the late people as we assumed only sending us a card since we sent one to them. Guess what they still came. Usually day after Xmas.

I'm sorry you had a tough Christmas that year but...you resent that people to whom you did not send cards that year did send cards to you? Maybe your grief is still clouding your judgement. But you seem very, very irritated by being remembered by other people. If they don't meet your standard for timing, well, you don't care that they took any time at all to remember your existence.

Maybe this year send out notice that any cards that arrive at your home after Christmas will be returned to sender and are a signal never to send you a card again.

Do you get this worked up if a birthday card is late? I'm betting yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP we are really busy too. My wife did Thanksgiving our house. We were all dressed up including the kids so did some Xmas photos that day. My wife then got card done Sunday after Thanksgiving and we mailed out 60 cards around December 1. So three weeks ago today.

We got 10 as of today. And of that 10 they were the busier people. Like my wife and I with three kids on school, work, traveling at Holidays we don’t have luxury of waiting till last minute.

Plus with a few Jewish friends on list we want it to teach them for their Holiday and with some European people on list can’t wait.

Sounds like your wife is busy and you're a freeloader.

[Anonymous]

Not reading six pages of this thread, but has anyone considered that the US Postal Service has had delivery issues for years now, and they've worsened in the past two years, so late mail at ANY time -- especially at a very busy time -- is possibly due to delivery issues, not to these "lazy" people OP just loathes?

Nope, OP is all about criticizing people for not being as perfect as OP insists. God forbid there should be anything out of anyone's personal control. I guess OP's response would be, "If you know the postal service has issues, mail your holiday cards by Nov. 1 like I would."

[Anonymous]

I love receiving holiday cards and make a big deal of taping them up on the wall. I keep them up through February and then take them down. I have no problem receiving cards after Christmas or in January. The holiday season easily runs through January. I am a busy person. I just sent my cards over the weekend. I had no time to get them ordered, delivered, addressed, stamped, etc. before this weekend. I mail cards to 150 people. I am not lazy, a control freak, etc. I have a new job, 2 kids, hosted 10 people for Thanksgiving, had out of town relatives staying at my house for 9 days, and have been trying to spend weekends with my kids enjoying holiday traditions before Omicron makes us hunker down for the next month. I got my Christmas cards out when I had the time (which required me to stay up until 1am in the morning on a Friday). Re-read your post OP and get a clue.

[Anonymous]

Sheesh OP, you have too much time on your hands that this even crosses your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it a passive aggressive thing? Control thing? Just Laziness?

I ask as a few folks year after year mail it so late.

I also go to NY to see family most years and some cousins will be at Xmas with us and when I get back home to the DMV the card is there. Why mail it so late that you see me in person at Xmas before I get the card? I get folks are busy we all been there. But I had one person mail literally a card that is a Christmas card I get it after Xmas every year the last 30 years!! I usually have taken down cards by then so awkward.

One year my wife and I had a lot of things going on Illness, death of my mother and paired down list and did not mail the late people as we assumed only sending us a card since we sent one to them. Guess what they still came. Usually day after Xmas.

Why do they do it? Two are now literally empty nesters and retired. So they have time.

Wow.

OP, are you capable of reading your own post as if it were a stranger's? Because to an objective stranger there are red flags brighter than Rudolph's nose all over your vent.

"Passive aggressive, control, laziness"? Why did your mind leap directly to negative behaviors and bad intent? Maybe check whether you've been subjected to things like that yourself, and project onto others (who are doing nothing more awful than...sending cards late?) that they must be...doing what, exactly? How does it exert "control" over the card's recipient if the card is late? How is it "passive aggressive" to send it late? Maybe you think it's a message to you that "I tossed this in the mail but don't really care--"? Laziness is just a big old judgement on your part. Read the posts by people here talking about how life does get in the way. Are they lazy, in your eyes?

This paragraph is downright odd:
One year my wife and I had a lot of things going on Illness, death of my mother and paired down list and did not mail the late people as we assumed only sending us a card since we sent one to them. Guess what they still came. Usually day after Xmas.

I'm sorry you had a tough Christmas that year but...you resent that people to whom you did not send cards that year did send cards to you? Maybe your grief is still clouding your judgement. But you seem very, very irritated by being remembered by other people. If they don't meet your standard for timing, well, you don't care that they took any time at all to remember your existence.

Maybe this year send out notice that any cards that arrive at your home after Christmas will be returned to sender and are a signal never to send you a card again.

Do you get this worked up if a birthday card is late? I'm betting yes.

Yes, OP has serious problems.

[Anonymous]

Are these people trolls, who celebrate Holidays or birthdays BEFORE the actual day, and then throw everything away?

Most people do it the reverse way - keep cards and tree up for weeks. That is the actual historical tradition for Christmas, by the way: the 12 days of Christmas START on the Christmas Day! Epiphany on Jan 6th is a bigger celebration in some countries than Christmas, and it's when many children around the world receive their presents.

Please keep in mind that people here hail from all over the world and bring their own traditions to the Holiday - and none of it should include nastiness!

[Anonymous]

I don’t care when they arrive. I’m just happy to be thought of during the holiday season and see pictures of my friend’s families. Lighten up, OP. Bah humbug!

[Anonymous]

Now I think about it, I think there's a thread like this every year.

Perhaps it's a person who wants to pressure everyone to send their cards earlier... because they're insane.

[Anonymous]

As someone who cares a lot about punctuality in other areas, I really, truly can't imagine caring about this.

[Anonymous]

Cmon. It’s not that hard to send in early Dec

[Anonymous]

OP - I honestly think it is a bit mental disorder. I only say this as I have a childless aunt who never married. Years ago she decided for all her Nieces and Nephews she decided to give $2,500 a child every Xmas for their college fund.

But I know she really loves pictures of nieces and nephews on Xmas cards and such.

My BIL will take the cash and always sends cards way after Xmas to her and never a thank you note even though it really hurts her feelings and he knows this.So my aunt after five years just sends a card no money and he shows up in person Xmas eve looking for the money. Had balls to ask a d nice aunt gave it to him. My MIL is like look when you get her Xmas card with $7,500 in cash just write out one Xmas card back with some kids pictures on card and say thank you. He could not do it.

Then at the next Xmas he complained so slow at work he has nothing to do a few hours a day and his aunt whispered I thought he had no time.

We finally stopped inviting his family as they hi-jack every event by showing up late, not showing up at all, RSVP for five then 1 shows up. At her wedding we sat in church till 1:30 pm for a one pm mass as she was 1/2 hour late.

I can drop folks from Xmas list but I think thus is way more deep rooted.

I do greatly enjoying sending cards to all my elderly relatives who don’t send back. I don’t expect one.

My wife’s cousin is also queen of this. We mailed her cards on Dec 1. since they are going to his side this year and we normally exchange gifts on 12-10 mailed their kids gifts. No response. So don’t know. They are so late her mother now sends out Xmas cards with grandkids in them. They also do stuff like invite you to a birthday party day before. Or rsvp yes then change mind. My favorite they substitute themselves. They actually will give gift to someone attending for them. And one year had a joint birthday party with us without telling me. It was her kids birthday close by and had us do happy birthday song twice and she actually had folks her side to bring gifts.

Look i get a card, mail a card or don’t mail a card. Don’t be like evite where maybe us a RSVP choice.

I guess we will never know. My mailbox will have a bunch of cards next week I open, confirm address and throw out.

I guess all you late folks now know it is hurtful and mean and makes folks seem they were not important by sending late. You continue to do it then we’ll you all have issues I can’t fix

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who cares a lot about punctuality in other areas, I really, truly can't imagine caring about this.

+1. It’s a nice little card, who cares?!