Boyfriend and I Don’t Agree On Wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is his family drama/ghetto or is yours?

OP here. It’s mine. His family is fine. There’s also who is going to walk me down the aisle - my stepdad or my bio dad. It’s hard to decide any of this stuff.

How about walking yourself down the aisle? That way, no one is “giving you away”. You are your own person. That’s what I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a black person, I can’t figure out why you guys think the word ghetto is racist. OP isn’t referring to low income black people, is she? Or do you think the word should be reserved for black people? I do t get it. I think it’s pretty commonly known to mean low class. Stop focusing on this; it’s silly.

Ghetto as a noun is not used for low SES white community spaces, but minority community spaces, so it is not just about “low class”. Historically not just Black Americans, but Jews in other times in history, etc.

Ghetto as an adjective has become a pejorative way to point out characteristics of something or someone — characteristics that are stereotypically associated with Black culture or are racist tropes about Black culture and people.

Please STOP with the whitesplaination. As a PoC, I find the self-described white liberal tendency to explain our situation/issues through your lens, and then waving the flag of righteous anger over every body else, tiresome/condescending and self serving.

Your being a PoC doesn’t mean you get to dictate whether a word is offensive or not. As a Jew, this word is offensive to me and I judge everyone who uses it or defends those who do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my understanding, your family dynamic stresses you out and you don’t seem particular close to them. So it would make zero sense to have them at your wedding. Your boyfriend should be able to understand that and not mind if you invite (a lot) less people from your side. It isn’t a matching game. You don’t have to have equal sides of wedding guests coming. It should matter to him as long as the people you want there get invited

+100 to this and the other PPs who have expressed the same thought. If the worry is doing the traditional bride side versus groom side seating and it looking unbalanced, just have the ushers seat folks to balance the room without worrying about bride or groom side.

[Anonymous]

^^ And regarding your bio dad, just express that you are having stepdad walk you down aisle or walk solo. If he asks why, either tell him why or just say that was my decision and leave it at that. If he chooses not to attend, so be it. If others choose the same, so be it. The folks that will be there will be the ones coming to celebrate you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is his family drama/ghetto or is yours?

OP here. It’s mine. His family is fine. There’s also who is going to walk me down the aisle - my stepdad or my bio dad. It’s hard to decide any of this stuff.

Both parents can walk you.