Boyfriend and I Don’t Agree On Wedding

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are planning on getting engaged and we have been discussing weddings. He wants to get married in a big ceremony, but I want a small ceremony with just immediate family and some friends. I do not want to invite extended family because they’re drama and ghetto. He thinks I should make an exception this one time and invite everyone. I don’t want to and have been thinking of just getting married at the courthouse with no wedding. How can we come to a compromise?

[Anonymous]

My husband wanted a courthouse wedding and I wanted a bigger one. We compromised by inviting 30 people, and because it was out of town 18 came. It was perfect. We had wedding in a park and reception at our house.


You could elope and have a big party.

[Anonymous]

Have a medium sized wedding and give him a guest list of friends and family you want to invite to it. You don’t have to invite your extended family.

[Anonymous]

Who is paying for it?

[Anonymous]

Is his family drama/ghetto or is yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is paying for it?

OP here. We we both splitting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is his family drama/ghetto or is yours?

OP here. It’s mine. His family is fine. There’s also who is going to walk me down the aisle - my stepdad or my bio dad. It’s hard to decide any of this stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is paying for it?

OP here. We we both splitting it.

Then definitely go smaller. The money you spend on some big blow-out for extended family is wasted and could go towards a house or something really meaningful. There have been threads here on DCUM about what people would do differently if they had to do their wedding over again. Overwhelmingly, posters have said that they would have scaled back and not spent so much money.

Your boyfriend might realize that the guest list needs to come down when you both start looking at actual costs. But first things first: Get engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is his family drama/ghetto or is yours?

OP here. It’s mine. His family is fine. There’s also who is going to walk me down the aisle - my stepdad or my bio dad. It’s hard to decide any of this stuff.

You don’t have to invite equal amounts of family members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is his family drama/ghetto or is yours?

OP here. It’s mine. His family is fine. There’s also who is going to walk me down the aisle - my stepdad or my bio dad. It’s hard to decide any of this stuff.

Do both, one on each side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is paying for it?

OP here. We we both splitting it.

Then definitely go smaller. The money you spend on some big blow-out for extended family is wasted and could go towards a house or something really meaningful. There have been threads here on DCUM about what people would do differently if they had to do their wedding over again. Overwhelmingly, posters have said that they would have scaled back and not spent so much money.

Your boyfriend might realize that the guest list needs to come down when you both start looking at actual costs. But first things first: Get engaged.

+1. Small ceremony at a church or garden or whatever (something inexpensive or free) with just immediate/close family and close friends and reception at a restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Why is your family ghetto? If you’re white, that’s racist.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to invite the ghetto folks. Or have a destination wedding, that'll whittle the guest list down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is his family drama/ghetto or is yours?

OP here. It’s mine. His family is fine. There’s also who is going to walk me down the aisle - my stepdad or my bio dad. It’s hard to decide any of this stuff.

Do both, one on each side.

Or neither

[Anonymous]

Why don't you elope and invite friends/family to a reception? That way the number of people attending doesn't make a huge difference.