Boyfriend and I Don’t Agree On Wedding

[Anonymous]

As a black person, I can’t figure out why you guys think the word ghetto is racist. OP isn’t referring to low income black people, is she? Or do you think the word should be reserved for black people? I do t get it. I think it’s pretty commonly known to mean low class. Stop focusing on this; it’s silly.

[Anonymous]

Don't get married because your family is ghetto

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a black person, I can’t figure out why you guys think the word ghetto is racist. OP isn’t referring to low income black people, is she? Or do you think the word should be reserved for black people? I do t get it. I think it’s pretty commonly known to mean low class. Stop focusing on this; it’s silly.

+1. It’s okay for OP to think her cousin marrying her sisters rapist is ghetto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a black person, I can’t figure out why you guys think the word ghetto is racist. OP isn’t referring to low income black people, is she? Or do you think the word should be reserved for black people? I do t get it. I think it’s pretty commonly known to mean low class. Stop focusing on this; it’s silly.

Ghetto as a noun is not used for low SES white community spaces, but minority community spaces, so it is not just about “low class”. Historically not just Black Americans, but Jews in other times in history, etc.

Ghetto as an adjective has become a pejorative way to point out characteristics of something or someone — characteristics that are stereotypically associated with Black culture or are racist tropes about Black culture and people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a black person, I can’t figure out why you guys think the word ghetto is racist. OP isn’t referring to low income black people, is she? Or do you think the word should be reserved for black people? I do t get it. I think it’s pretty commonly known to mean low class. Stop focusing on this; it’s silly.

Ghetto as a noun is not used for low SES white community spaces, but minority community spaces, so it is not just about “low class”. Historically not just Black Americans, but Jews in other times in history, etc.

Ghetto as an adjective has become a pejorative way to point out characteristics of something or someone — characteristics that are stereotypically associated with Black culture or are racist tropes about Black culture and people.

I think the black PP knows what the term means. You, a white person, don’t need to give a definition as if pp is dumb. What is it with you white liberals? Claim to be for black people, but will tell then why they’re a victim, and try to “educate” them if they don’t agree with your narrative. Keep your white savior nonsense to yourself. No one cares about your woke feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a black person, I can’t figure out why you guys think the word ghetto is racist. OP isn’t referring to low income black people, is she? Or do you think the word should be reserved for black people? I do t get it. I think it’s pretty commonly known to mean low class. Stop focusing on this; it’s silly.

Ghetto as a noun is not used for low SES white community spaces, but minority community spaces, so it is not just about “low class”. Historically not just Black Americans, but Jews in other times in history, etc.

Ghetto as an adjective has become a pejorative way to point out characteristics of something or someone — characteristics that are stereotypically associated with Black culture or are racist tropes about Black culture and people.

I think the black PP knows what the term means. You, a white person, don’t need to give a definition as if pp is dumb. What is it with you white liberals? Claim to be for black people, but will tell then why they’re a victim, and try to “educate” them if they don’t agree with your narrative. Keep your white savior nonsense to yourself. No one cares about your woke feelings.

The PP literally said they did not understand. I offered an explanation. Whether or not PP personally feels the word ghetto in this context is racist toward them is not really relevant to whether it is writ large.

And you may assume all you want about whether I’m white, liberal, and/or trying to be a savior for black communities on an anonymous message board.

[Anonymous]

I think op and her boyfriend should go to counseling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a black person, I can’t figure out why you guys think the word ghetto is racist. OP isn’t referring to low income black people, is she? Or do you think the word should be reserved for black people? I do t get it. I think it’s pretty commonly known to mean low class. Stop focusing on this; it’s silly.

+1. It’s okay for OP to think her cousin marrying her sisters rapist is ghetto.

The two of you don't speak for all black people. The word ghetto is offensive to Black people, Jewish people, and people of a lower SES. By calling her rapist inlaw ghetto she implies that that behavior is the standard amount the previously mentioned group. IT's not appropriate.

There are other ways to describe disgusting and criminal family members that do not disparage other groups of people.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Why is your family ghetto? If you’re white, that’s racist.

No it’s not.

Racist or not, it’s a distasteful adjective that should be excised from the vocabulary of anyone aspiring to sensitivity and/or refinement.

OP here. I don’t care about being sensitive.

And we don't care about your wedding.

OP here. Then don’t reply.

I can see why you are having trouble coming to an agreement with your boyfriend you don't want to hear any opinion but your own, and when other's suggest something you don't like you either get nasty or have a million and one excuses as to why you can't do a reasonable thing. .

It's pretty easy not to use the term ghetto which is offensive, instead, you just doubled down.

But let's be real here, you don't actually want to talk about planning your wedding or get advice on that you want to gossip about your cousin being molested.

OP here. I said I don’t care about being sensitive. PP can decide not to come on here all she wants. I’m not going to be sensitive because her feelings might get hurt.

It's not just me who told you ghetto was inappropriate. SEveral posters did and you doubled down on your ignorance. Your BF should run you are as toxic as the family you don't want to come to your wedding.

OP here. Cry more. Take your work white savior nonsense somewhere else.

Does your boyfriend know you're a racist? YOur family drama is the least of your issues.

Using the term ghetto does not make you a racist. The word racist has lost its true meaning that’s to idiots like you.

Keep throwing on your cape for OP, but while you do that here's some light reading for you:
https://time.com/5684505/ghetto-word-history/

https://www.bostonglobe.com/ideas/2019/09/13/the-long-and-twisted-history-ghetto/GbzSaKc0zRyRqBAH0caL1K/story.html

https://hiplatina.com/is-word-ghetto-racist/
https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35296993

https://www.michigandaily.com/michigan-in-color/the-ghetto/

https://stars.library.ucf.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2616&context=honorstheses1990-2015

https://www.tmj4.com/news/local-news/responding-to-inequalities-common-words-or-phrases-with-racist-history

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a black person, I can’t figure out why you guys think the word ghetto is racist. OP isn’t referring to low income black people, is she? Or do you think the word should be reserved for black people? I do t get it. I think it’s pretty commonly known to mean low class. Stop focusing on this; it’s silly.

+1. It’s okay for OP to think her cousin marrying her sisters rapist is ghetto.

The two of you don't speak for all black people. The word ghetto is offensive to Black people, Jewish people, and people of a lower SES. By calling her rapist inlaw ghetto she implies that that behavior is the standard amount the previously mentioned group. IT's not appropriate.

There are other ways to describe disgusting and criminal family members that do not disparage other groups of people.

You don’t know OPs race and the race of her cousins. They could all be white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a black person, I can’t figure out why you guys think the word ghetto is racist. OP isn’t referring to low income black people, is she? Or do you think the word should be reserved for black people? I do t get it. I think it’s pretty commonly known to mean low class. Stop focusing on this; it’s silly.

+1. It’s okay for OP to think her cousin marrying her sisters rapist is ghetto.

The two of you don't speak for all black people. The word ghetto is offensive to Black people, Jewish people, and people of a lower SES. By calling her rapist inlaw ghetto she implies that that behavior is the standard amount the previously mentioned group. IT's not appropriate.

There are other ways to describe disgusting and criminal family members that do not disparage other groups of people.

Cry more. No one cares what you think. Not everyone cares about being woke or your liberal feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Why is your family ghetto? If you’re white, that’s racist.

No it’s not.

Racist or not, it’s a distasteful adjective that should be excised from the vocabulary of anyone aspiring to sensitivity and/or refinement.

OP here. I don’t care about being sensitive.

And we don't care about your wedding.

OP here. Then don’t reply.

I can see why you are having trouble coming to an agreement with your boyfriend you don't want to hear any opinion but your own, and when other's suggest something you don't like you either get nasty or have a million and one excuses as to why you can't do a reasonable thing. .

It's pretty easy not to use the term ghetto which is offensive, instead, you just doubled down.

But let's be real here, you don't actually want to talk about planning your wedding or get advice on that you want to gossip about your cousin being molested.

OP here. I said I don’t care about being sensitive. PP can decide not to come on here all she wants. I’m not going to be sensitive because her feelings might get hurt.

It's not just me who told you ghetto was inappropriate. SEveral posters did and you doubled down on your ignorance. Your BF should run you are as toxic as the family you don't want to come to your wedding.

OP here. Cry more. Take your work white savior nonsense somewhere else.

Does your boyfriend know you're a racist? YOur family drama is the least of your issues.

Using the term ghetto does not make you a racist. The word racist has lost its true meaning that’s to idiots like you.

Keep throwing on your cape for OP, but while you do that here's some light reading for you:
https://time.com/5684505/ghetto-word-history/

https://www.bostonglobe.com/ideas/2019/09/13/the-long-and-twisted-history-ghetto/GbzSaKc0zRyRqBAH0caL1K/story.html

https://hiplatina.com/is-word-ghetto-racist/
https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35296993

https://www.michigandaily.com/michigan-in-color/the-ghetto/

https://stars.library.ucf.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2616&context=honorstheses1990-2015

https://www.tmj4.com/news/local-news/responding-to-inequalities-common-words-or-phrases-with-racist-history

All woke liberal sites.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't think your boyfriends understands what he is getting into, marrying into your family. Sounds like he has a functional family and has some rosy eyed image that you can have a functional relationship with everyone in your family. Im kinda worried for him, honestly.

Anyway, he does not get it. You do not need to invite all these crazy relatives to your wedding. Invite who you want. He can invite who you want. Just because you don't invite your cousin and her rapist husband does not mean he can't invite his favorite cousin Joey. You can invite different relatives on each side. But he should not be cajoling you into inviting crazy relatives. He should respect the boundaries you are trying to draw. And he should be happy you don't want them there.

You can walk yourself down the aisle. Or walk down the aisle with your fiance - that's what a friend of mine did in your shoes. Tell them you think is sexist to have a man walk you down the aisle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your family ghetto? If you’re white, that’s racist.

No it’s not.

Racist or not, it’s a distasteful adjective that should be excised from the vocabulary of anyone aspiring to sensitivity and/or refinement.

Stick it, Miss Manners, and dislodge it a bit while you’re at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what about 60-80 people? Both your stepdad and bio dad could walk you down the aisle together. Or courthouse ceremony with a big party a few months later?

OP here. I don’t want my bio dad to walk me down the aisle. He was never really in my life and honestly has no manners. He acts like a child. My stepdad has been there for me my whole life. I know I will get backlash from some family members if I exclude my dad from the wedding. He will not come if he doesn’t walk me down the aisle.

I did not let my biological dad walk me down the alise. Nix that entirely.