Where are the referees?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Our rec league has one center ref and two line judges for all our U11 games. I can't imagine paying travel money and having no ref. That's bizarre.

My son refs and will only do rec league games.

I ref and some of the absolute worst behavior I've encountered has been in rec league games.

Really find that interesting as I have had kids in both and travel has always seemed much much worse to me.

NP. As a long-time parent, by far the worst parent behavior I saw was in rec.

I once witnessed a parent screaming at a U12 rec player from the opposing team telling him, "You got nuttin! You got nuttin!" and cheering when he's lose the ball. Saying...."See! See! He can't play!" This parent was literally heckling this 11 year old. Why? Because he was the the best player on the other team. Yes. This was rec!

DP. Yes, I pulled my kid out of rec when a mom on the other side screamed at my four-year-old for cheering loudly when his brother scored. I have close to fifteen years of experience as a travel soccer parent and I never saw anything as bad as the rec parents.

[Anonymous]

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SoccerRef wrote:Personally, I only ref adult games now.
Just not worth the aggravation to do youth.

Doesn't matter how thick your skin is, or how experienced you are...listening to parents scream all game just isn't enjoyable for me.

You're part of the problem.

Is this a troll post? How is someone deciding not to deal with crazy parents part of the problem? Wouldn’t the aggravation in youth soccer be the problem?

Did you not see the subject line? There's a referee shortage and this guy is part of that problem.

Are you a ref? If not, then you are part of the problem and so are all the parents on my kids teams' and ...

I disagree with the premise that parents are the cause of a perceived shortage in refs.

That's your right, but the shortage is a reality. And in the case of my DS all the asshole parents are the reason he doesn't want to ref anymore. I can't blame him either after what I see during his own games and also the games he refs. It upsets me that all the asshole parents are what is preventing my soccer-loving DS from giving back to the game he loves. Hope all you yellers are happy and I hope all your games are cancelled due to the "perceived" ref shortage. That's the result your crazy should get you. Stop living vicariously through your kids and get your own life. Get out there and ref yourself or shut up and enjoy the show and appreciate those who get off their butts to make sure your DC actually has a game to play in!

Agree. Same situation for my teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our rec league has one center ref and two line judges for all our U11 games. I can't imagine paying travel money and having no ref. That's bizarre.

My son refs and will only do rec league games.

I ref and some of the absolute worst behavior I've encountered has been in rec league games.

Really find that interesting as I have had kids in both and travel has always seemed much much worse to me.

NP. As a long-time parent, by far the worst parent behavior I saw was in rec.

I once witnessed a parent screaming at a U12 rec player from the opposing team telling him, "You got nuttin! You got nuttin!" and cheering when he's lose the ball. Saying...."See! See! He can't play!" This parent was literally heckling this 11 year old. Why? Because he was the the best player on the other team. Yes. This was rec!

DP. Yes, I pulled my kid out of rec when a mom on the other side screamed at my four-year-old for cheering loudly when his brother scored. I have close to fifteen years of experience as a travel soccer parent and I never saw anything as bad as the rec parents.

Where are you all doing rec? My kids went through MYS rec and I never saw anything truly offensive. I saw the the occasional joystick parent compared to multiple parents giving instruction all game long in travel. We had the occasional jerk parent begging for foul calls vs most parents demanding them all game long in travel. A limited amount of annoying behavior for sure, but I have never seen a parent or coach get (or deserve!) a red card in rec. I have seen FIVE, off the top of my head, just this fall in travel. Maybe it depends on the rec league but in my experience, they can't be compared. The more invested the parents are in their kids' (especially girls!) futures, the more unreasonable they become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our rec league has one center ref and two line judges for all our U11 games. I can't imagine paying travel money and having no ref. That's bizarre.

My son refs and will only do rec league games.

I ref and some of the absolute worst behavior I've encountered has been in rec league games.

Really find that interesting as I have had kids in both and travel has always seemed much much worse to me.

NP. As a long-time parent, by far the worst parent behavior I saw was in rec.

I once witnessed a parent screaming at a U12 rec player from the opposing team telling him, "You got nuttin! You got nuttin!" and cheering when he's lose the ball. Saying...."See! See! He can't play!" This parent was literally heckling this 11 year old. Why? Because he was the the best player on the other team. Yes. This was rec!

DP. Yes, I pulled my kid out of rec when a mom on the other side screamed at my four-year-old for cheering loudly when his brother scored. I have close to fifteen years of experience as a travel soccer parent and I never saw anything as bad as the rec parents.

Where are you all doing rec? My kids went through MYS rec and I never saw anything truly offensive. I saw the the occasional joystick parent compared to multiple parents giving instruction all game long in travel. We had the occasional jerk parent begging for foul calls vs most parents demanding them all game long in travel. A limited amount of annoying behavior for sure, but I have never seen a parent or coach get (or deserve!) a red card in rec. I have seen FIVE, off the top of my head, just this fall in travel. Maybe it depends on the rec league but in my experience, they can't be compared. The more invested the parents are in their kids' (especially girls!) futures, the more unreasonable they become.

I saw some crazy behavior in rec too but def not as bad as in travel. I think the worst the parents, the less talented the kid is. It’s the kid that can play and really wants to play and puts in the effort but just hasn’t been gifted with the talent or athleticism. I’ve seen many of those kids fall apart during games while their parents are oblivious and continue with their yelling.

[Anonymous]

I think just about everyone is in agreement that we parents don't make it easy for the refs. With that said, is it worse now than pre-Covid? After so many pages of responses, do we have any ideas besides the following:

1. There are just more games now than a few years ago.
2. After self reflection during Covid, a lot of referees just decided it wasn't worth their time anymore (I think this includes parents and coaches being abusive).
3. Referees don't want the referee pay to mess with their unemployment benefits.

Anything else?

[Anonymous]

Teenage kids shouldn't be reffing anything higher than rec soccer anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teenage kids shouldn't be reffing anything higher than rec soccer anyway.

Why? That makes no sense other than the crazed parent player attack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teenage kids shouldn't be reffing anything higher than rec soccer anyway.

Why? That makes no sense other than the crazed parent player attack.

Especially when the alternative is cancelled games because there are no refs.

[Anonymous]

As a referee, I'm not so surprised about the lack of referees for various reasons; however, I was very surprised at the number of games without full crews at the local Columbus Day tournaments. Normally the referees step up and fill those spots especially the higher profile tournaments. Although WAGS may be slipping in importance, it's great to have such prominent tournaments in our back yard. With that said, these tournaments charge quite a bit of money to enter yet referees are paid right around Rec/NCSL level. I think these tournaments need to increase the money they are paying for referees especially for the tournaments that draw in so many teams from out of town and bring a lot of money into the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teenage kids shouldn't be reffing anything higher than rec soccer anyway.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teenage kids shouldn't be reffing anything higher than rec soccer anyway.

Agree

You don't think a 15/16/17/18/19 year old kid is capable of centering a travel soccer game? Travel soccer starts at U9. I believe the current standards are that, to center a travel game, you must be at least 16 years old and be at least two years older than the players playing. I think that's fair. However, I think there should be an experience requirement of say 25-30 games as an AR of the level (or higher) that you intend to center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teenage kids shouldn't be reffing anything higher than rec soccer anyway.

I prefer the teenagers assuming they know the rules and don't let the coaches bully them. I've never seen a 16 year old ref camp at midfield for an entire game, but I've seen plenty of geriatric refs do it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teenage kids shouldn't be reffing anything higher than rec soccer anyway.

Agree

You don't think a 15/16/17/18/19 year old kid is capable of centering a travel soccer game? Travel soccer starts at U9. I believe the current standards are that, to center a travel game, you must be at least 16 years old and be at least two years older than the players playing. I think that's fair. However, I think there should be an experience requirement of say 25-30 games as an AR of the level (or higher) that you intend to center.

If you didn't allow teenagers to ref there would really be a shortage. These are kids soccer games, not professional. Lighten up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teenage kids shouldn't be reffing anything higher than rec soccer anyway.

Agree

You don't think a 15/16/17/18/19 year old kid is capable of centering a travel soccer game? Travel soccer starts at U9. I believe the current standards are that, to center a travel game, you must be at least 16 years old and be at least two years older than the players playing. I think that's fair. However, I think there should be an experience requirement of say 25-30 games as an AR of the level (or higher) that you intend to center.

If you didn't allow teenagers to ref there would really be a shortage. These are kids soccer games, not professional. Lighten up

I agree that you need teenagers. My teenagers does it. I just threw out 25-30 ARs because that's like one or two seasons of ARing before you start centering. I don't think that's unreasonable. Keep in mind there is some paperwork and game reports to fill out so being an AR helps just get experience with all the different check in procedures for the different leagues, rules of competition, and all of that stuff. There's more to it than just showing up with a whistle in your mouth. But I certainly agree that teenagers are more than capable of centering travel soccer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teenage kids shouldn't be reffing anything higher than rec soccer anyway.

I prefer the teenagers assuming they know the rules and don't let the coaches bully them. I've never seen a 16 year old ref camp at midfield for an entire game, but I've seen plenty of geriatric refs do it

We were in a rec tournament of 4th graders. The teen ref said there was no second chance on throw-ins which was not the rule. He held his ground even though both coaches told him he was wrong.