Where are the referees?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand all the complaining about lack of referees. I have three kids who play at different leagues at different levels who also played a number of local tournaments, and only one time we had a no show from a refs in the last three years and that was at a road game against a small club in Annandale. We even had refs for scrimmages against other clubs with no issues.

You haven’t seen it so you don’t understand how it can be happening? Is that your position on everything? DD’s ECNL-r game was cancelled this weekend because no ref. DS is a center ref and only had one game this season where there were full 2 assistant refs working with him. But I guess if it didn’t happen to you it’s not happening anywhere

[Anonymous]

I'm a ref and we had a full crew for this one particular game yesterday. We were sitting there talking at halftime and the coach of the next game stopped by to see if we were doing the next game because he didn't have one game this year with a full crew. It just so happened that the two ARs had to leave right after this game, so this coach wasn't getting a full crew again. But we were talking with the coach and among ourselves that it's more important than ever for parents and coaches to shut the hell up. Here's how it works...there are 3-4 assignors in the area that assign referees to most matches in the NOVA DC area. There is a database with all of the games they have to find referees for. We scan through their available games and pick and choose which games we want to do, if any. So before I request a game to officiate, I look at who is playing and who is coaching. If it's one of my "black listed" teams or coaches, then I won't do that game. There are SOOOO many games available to pick from that I won't take a game with teams with notoriously "difficult" parents, coaches, or even players. I just don't need that extra aggravation. Pay is very similar across all the leagues so there isn't much incentive to do a higher level match where the parents think it's the World Cup. Anyway....I personally have no idea where all the referees are either. I don't think it has anything to do with people getting unemployment. It's not like I'm going to choose to not ref because I'm collecting unemployment from my 9-5. You don't collect extra unemployment from not reffing. : ) Lastly, I think the issue of refs not wanting to work with less than a full crew adds to the problem. For example, I center my share of games, but I don't want to center if I don't have two ARs, so I won't do games unless they are full crews....so this thinking doesn't help, but again, I don't need the extra aggravation parents and coaches going nuts because I missed an offside call or a throw in because I'm a single referee. Anyway...just some thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given the abuse I heard at a U11 game yesterday, I’m surprised anyone is willing to do it.

Exactly.

For the sake of the sport I have come back and centered this fall. I used to do adult high school and college level games years ago.

Now I have done U9-U17 games.

The lack of understanding of the laws by parents and their yelling is pervasive. Players are affected and begin to try to quick throw to steal possession at U9 really quite a joke. Parents come into the field to socialize and criticize during the game then want to discuss calls after the game. Coaches are generally embarrassed but won’t confront parents. All this leads to disrespect of the game of opponents and officials. Actual gameplay and development suffers. Players don’t understand they cannot tackle studs up or from behind and show belligerence with fouls and player safety.
Coaches teach poor sportsmanship winning 15-0 or worse. Then those losing teams retaliate against even lesser opponents.

Anyone reffing for pay shouldn’t have to suffer the abuse no matter how bad they may be.
Experienced centers shouldn’t be criticized with no ARs available on a full field you can’t be perfect in those conditions
It candidly is not fun.

Yesterday when begged to stay on after my games and center a game for a club for 2 teams that have previously displayed awful behavior (not with me) I told the coaches very simply no and said I love the game but I see no need to stick around and have to deal with or eject parents for behavior they wouldn’t display anywhere else. So no game for those teams.

It isn’t that the pay isn’t good. It’s not. It’s that the behavior is saddening and awful. I would not let my kid referee alone these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a ref and we had a full crew for this one particular game yesterday. We were sitting there talking at halftime and the coach of the next game stopped by to see if we were doing the next game because he didn't have one game this year with a full crew. It just so happened that the two ARs had to leave right after this game, so this coach wasn't getting a full crew again. But we were talking with the coach and among ourselves that it's more important than ever for parents and coaches to shut the hell up. Here's how it works...there are 3-4 assignors in the area that assign referees to most matches in the NOVA DC area. There is a database with all of the games they have to find referees for. We scan through their available games and pick and choose which games we want to do, if any. So before I request a game to officiate, I look at who is playing and who is coaching. If it's one of my "black listed" teams or coaches, then I won't do that game. There are SOOOO many games available to pick from that I won't take a game with teams with notoriously "difficult" parents, coaches, or even players. I just don't need that extra aggravation. Pay is very similar across all the leagues so there isn't much incentive to do a higher level match where the parents think it's the World Cup. Anyway....I personally have no idea where all the referees are either. I don't think it has anything to do with people getting unemployment. It's not like I'm going to choose to not ref because I'm collecting unemployment from my 9-5. You don't collect extra unemployment from not reffing. : ) Lastly, I think the issue of refs not wanting to work with less than a full crew adds to the problem. For example, I center my share of games, but I don't want to center if I don't have two ARs, so I won't do games unless they are full crews....so this thinking doesn't help, but again, I don't need the extra aggravation parents and coaches going nuts because I missed an offside call or a throw in because I'm a single referee. Anyway...just some thoughts.

After thinking...maybe pay from reffing offsets unemployment benefits, so maybe that is a factor. I don't know. I retract my thoughts on unemployment.

[Anonymous]

Can't speak for all of the former referees just this one. Didn't renew when there weren't any games to work anyways and no way to earn that back. Then with a year off for perspective I realized how much better life is without the hassle. I put in ten years, I paid my dues. Some of you other can step up now.

I love working with the kids and reffing the games but putting up with the constant abuse is just not worth it. I am a much better referee than they are a parent or coach but you don't hear me telling them how to parent or how to coach. It's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

One more point: the amount of robot jockeying parents do - telling their player what to do in game - is amazing. Parents don’t realize or care that it limits their kids development. It’s a form of verbal hand-holding and the advice is almost always wrong tactically and technically. Kid Sports has become
An outlet for venting frustration.
Silence is golden … let the players talk and listen to them and the nice rhythm of the ball

[Anonymous]

I also think that there are more adult leagues forming and more games in general now than there were a few years ago, which takes more referees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand all the complaining about lack of referees. I have three kids who play at different leagues at different levels who also played a number of local tournaments, and only one time we had a no show from a refs in the last three years and that was at a road game against a small club in Annandale. We even had refs for scrimmages against other clubs with no issues.

You haven’t seen it so you don’t understand how it can be happening? Is that your position on everything? DD’s ECNL-r game was cancelled this weekend because no ref. DS is a center ref and only had one game this season where there were full 2 assistant refs working with him. But I guess if it didn’t happen to you it’s not happening anywhere

PPs mentality is also why covid will last forever. "Hasn't hit near me= therefore its not real"

[Anonymous]

Here is an example of the parental lunacy:

Posting video of a close offsides/non offsides call in a game
An AR is running in the background in good position and no flag goes up but instead of accepting a close judgment call by the Center and AR or understanding blue 5 made the wrong defensive choice taking herself out of position, instead we post on the Internet seeking affirmation that we were wronged horribly. Weird adult behavior to take away from your child’s sport. I can only imagine the car rides home: Princess you were wronged that wasn’t a goal let’s storm the capitol and sit in the speakers chair


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FdCXre8eoMY&t=1s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't speak for all of the former referees just this one. Didn't renew when there weren't any games to work anyways and no way to earn that back. Then with a year off for perspective I realized how much better life is without the hassle. I put in ten years, I paid my dues. Some of you other can step up now.

I love working with the kids and reffing the games but putting up with the constant abuse is just not worth it. I am a much better referee than they are a parent or coach but you don't hear me telling them how to parent or how to coach. It's ridiculous.

I realize that parent comments/actions crossing the line (in one way or another) have to be dealt with, but re: everything else, isn't it possible to just disregard the comments coming from the sidelines? I think the silent majority of parents at most games understand and appreciate refs. ignoring the standard, dumb stuff coming from the sidelines unless the ref. decides it crosses a line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't speak for all of the former referees just this one. Didn't renew when there weren't any games to work anyways and no way to earn that back. Then with a year off for perspective I realized how much better life is without the hassle. I put in ten years, I paid my dues. Some of you other can step up now.

I love working with the kids and reffing the games but putting up with the constant abuse is just not worth it. I am a much better referee than they are a parent or coach but you don't hear me telling them how to parent or how to coach. It's ridiculous.

I realize that parent comments/actions crossing the line (in one way or another) have to be dealt with, but re: everything else, isn't it possible to just disregard the comments coming from the sidelines? I think the silent majority of parents at most games understand and appreciate refs. ignoring the standard, dumb stuff coming from the sidelines unless the ref. decides it crosses a line.

Absolutely it is ignored most of the time by the Centers.
But ignoring it inevitably allows it to grow into something uglier.
The Center is there to protect the safety of the players and the integrity of the game.
Are fans really there to criticize from their foldup chair with Starbucks ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't speak for all of the former referees just this one. Didn't renew when there weren't any games to work anyways and no way to earn that back. Then with a year off for perspective I realized how much better life is without the hassle. I put in ten years, I paid my dues. Some of you other can step up now.

I love working with the kids and reffing the games but putting up with the constant abuse is just not worth it. I am a much better referee than they are a parent or coach but you don't hear me telling them how to parent or how to coach. It's ridiculous.

I realize that parent comments/actions crossing the line (in one way or another) have to be dealt with, but re: everything else, isn't it possible to just disregard the comments coming from the sidelines? I think the silent majority of parents at most games understand and appreciate refs. ignoring the standard, dumb stuff coming from the sidelines unless the ref. decides it crosses a line.

Absolutely it is ignored most of the time by the Centers.
But ignoring it inevitably allows it to grow into something uglier.
The Center is there to protect the safety of the players and the integrity of the game.
Are fans really there to criticize from their foldup chair with Starbucks ?

Honestly show me a youth soccer game and I’ll show you at least one parent who crosses the line

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is an example of the parental lunacy:

Posting video of a close offsides/non offsides call in a game
An AR is running in the background in good position and no flag goes up but instead of accepting a close judgment call by the Center and AR or understanding blue 5 made the wrong defensive choice taking herself out of position, instead we post on the Internet seeking affirmation that we were wronged horribly. Weird adult behavior to take away from your child’s sport. I can only imagine the car rides home: Princess you were wronged that wasn’t a goal let’s storm the capitol and sit in the speakers chair


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FdCXre8eoMY&t=1s

I’ll take not offsides for $100 Alex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't speak for all of the former referees just this one. Didn't renew when there weren't any games to work anyways and no way to earn that back. Then with a year off for perspective I realized how much better life is without the hassle. I put in ten years, I paid my dues. Some of you other can step up now.

I love working with the kids and reffing the games but putting up with the constant abuse is just not worth it. I am a much better referee than they are a parent or coach but you don't hear me telling them how to parent or how to coach. It's ridiculous.

I realize that parent comments/actions crossing the line (in one way or another) have to be dealt with, but re: everything else, isn't it possible to just disregard the comments coming from the sidelines? I think the silent majority of parents at most games understand and appreciate refs. ignoring the standard, dumb stuff coming from the sidelines unless the ref. decides it crosses a line.

True but I imagine it wears on the referee eventually. I’m a parent and it’s incredibly unpleasant to sit entire matches hearing other parents berate/coach their kids and the ref. It dampens the mood with all the tension they create. There’s been a couple of games when we ran off as soon as the match was over because we didn’t want to deal with or see what angry parents would do to the ref or what they would say to their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't speak for all of the former referees just this one. Didn't renew when there weren't any games to work anyways and no way to earn that back. Then with a year off for perspective I realized how much better life is without the hassle. I put in ten years, I paid my dues. Some of you other can step up now.

I love working with the kids and reffing the games but putting up with the constant abuse is just not worth it. I am a much better referee than they are a parent or coach but you don't hear me telling them how to parent or how to coach. It's ridiculous.

I realize that parent comments/actions crossing the line (in one way or another) have to be dealt with, but re: everything else, isn't it possible to just disregard the comments coming from the sidelines? I think the silent majority of parents at most games understand and appreciate refs. ignoring the standard, dumb stuff coming from the sidelines unless the ref. decides it crosses a line.

Absolutely it is ignored most of the time by the Centers.
But ignoring it inevitably allows it to grow into something uglier.
The Center is there to protect the safety of the players and the integrity of the game.
Are fans really there to criticize from their foldup chair with Starbucks ?

Honestly show me a youth soccer game and I’ll show you at least one parent who crosses the line

+1 Just a few games left of U11 EDP Premier Level season and every game has had at least one parent cross the line. This is U11.