I hate when people assume I have a ton of free time because I SAH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s because focusing your attention exclusively on your 2 year old for 8 hours doesn’t sound that healthy. The only benefit of SAH (IMO) is more time, flexibility, and less stress. You seem to somehow have turned parenting into a job. If you like it that way fine - but there’s nothing better about your way.

Then why don’t people ask nannies to run a bunch of errands or clean the house with a 2 year old in tow?

You seem to have trouble with the distinction between a nanny who is working as an employee in someone else’s household and a person who is running their own household.

This. The nanny is being paid to do a job. Of course she should not be on the phone for more than a few minutes while kids are home/awake. The at doesn’t mean a SAHM can’t talk to her mother for an hour while with her kids.

People pay nannies to not be on their phones all day because it's not ideal for the kids. It's not just some arbitrary rule to make the nanny's life harder. And because it's not ideal for the kids, SAHM's don't want to do it either. I have a 2 and 4 yo. I truly could not talk to someone on the phone for an hour while watching them unless I turned on the TV or did it during naptime. I'm not going to turn on the TV for an hour so I can make a call, and sure I could do it during naptime. I'm sure a nanny could make a call during naptime too, if her employer doesn't give her other tasks. And I ALSO have other tasks to do during naptime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Literally no one cares what you are doing with your day, OP. You are imagining that they are thinking about you and how you have free time? They are all too busy, whether they are SAH or WOH or whatever

Sometimes people ask things of SAHMs that they won’t of working moms because they assume they have the time and flexibility to do them. So that might be where this is coming from.

No. SAHM Imagine people ask them to do things that they don’t ask working moms. My friends father had a stroke and she sent a group text to all of us saying hey can you help with the kids over the next five days. All the working moms had no problem finding time to help I even took a whole day off work to do some of her grocery shopping and laundry. Some of the SAHMs also helped.

The comment from one of the SAHM’s was “I guess you think I just have tons of time”. Like no we just think you’re part of our community and we help each other out.

Is completely in our imagination that this was a time where we thought only the stay at home moms were going to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s because focusing your attention exclusively on your 2 year old for 8 hours doesn’t sound that healthy. The only benefit of SAH (IMO) is more time, flexibility, and less stress. You seem to somehow have turned parenting into a job. If you like it that way fine - but there’s nothing better about your way.

Then why don’t people ask nannies to run a bunch of errands or clean the house with a 2 year old in tow?

You seem to have trouble with the distinction between a nanny who is working as an employee in someone else’s household and a person who is running their own household.

This. The nanny is being paid to do a job. Of course she should not be on the phone for more than a few minutes while kids are home/awake. The at doesn’t mean a SAHM can’t talk to her mother for an hour while with her kids.

People pay nannies to not be on their phones all day because it's not ideal for the kids. It's not just some arbitrary rule to make the nanny's life harder. And because it's not ideal for the kids, SAHM's don't want to do it either. I have a 2 and 4 yo. I truly could not talk to someone on the phone for an hour while watching them unless I turned on the TV or did it during naptime. I'm not going to turn on the TV for an hour so I can make a call, and sure I could do it during naptime. I'm sure a nanny could make a call during naptime too, if her employer doesn't give her other tasks. And I ALSO have other tasks to do during naptime.

Every kid is different. I can sit on the porch while my kids play in the backyard and they will not ask me to do anything for an hour usually. We actually had a nanny and I do not have these crazy restrictions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a real peach

seriously. she busy taking care of errands all day that working moms have to squeeze into nights and weekends, and complains she is SO BUSY having all dang day to do them at her leisure. OMG stop OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a real peach

seriously. she busy taking care of errands all day that working moms have to squeeze into nights and weekends, and complains she is SO BUSY having all dang day to do them at her leisure. OMG stop OP.

You sound bitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a real peach

seriously. she busy taking care of errands all day that working moms have to squeeze into nights and weekends, and complains she is SO BUSY having all dang day to do them at her leisure. OMG stop OP.

You sound bitter.

No, just stating the obvious. How dumb her post was. Not surprising she is not earning any income. Probably not too bright

[Anonymous]

I used to be you. Having a 2yo is a lot of work. I had a 2yo and two kids in elementary.

It gets easier when kids get older. Now my youngest is 4 and in preschool for 3 hours per day. Night and day from when she was a baby/toddler.

That being said, I absolutely did drop off items for school, volunteered to be a room parent, etc. I did this when I was a working mom of 2 as well so I think I just like the school stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who’s able to chime in on this thread in the middle of a weekday is not lacking for free time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a real peach

seriously. she busy taking care of errands all day that working moms have to squeeze into nights and weekends, and complains she is SO BUSY having all dang day to do them at her leisure. OMG stop OP.

You sound bitter.

No, just stating the obvious. How dumb her post was. Not surprising she is not earning any income. Probably not too bright

I don't think she is, but what if she was? What if OP is just not as smart as you? Does that make her worthy of your scorn? Does that mean she's not as busy as she says? It seems like if OP is really intellectually deficient, she would deserve empathy and kindness, not cruelty. Whenever I encounter people who seem less intelligent than I am, I tend to feel bad for them because I know my intelligence makes my life easier.

So, again: you sound bitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a real peach

seriously. she busy taking care of errands all day that working moms have to squeeze into nights and weekends, and complains she is SO BUSY having all dang day to do them at her leisure. OMG stop OP.

You sound bitter.

No, just stating the obvious. How dumb her post was. Not surprising she is not earning any income. Probably not too bright

I don't think she is, but what if she was? What if OP is just not as smart as you? Does that make her worthy of your scorn? Does that mean she's not as busy as she says? It seems like if OP is really intellectually deficient, she would deserve empathy and kindness, not cruelty. Whenever I encounter people who seem less intelligent than I am, I tend to feel bad for them because I know my intelligence makes my life easier.

So, again: you sound bitter.

NP. OP invited this on herself with her holier-than-thou attitude. Why are you being so defensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a real peach

seriously. she busy taking care of errands all day that working moms have to squeeze into nights and weekends, and complains she is SO BUSY having all dang day to do them at her leisure. OMG stop OP.

You sound bitter.

No, just stating the obvious. How dumb her post was. Not surprising she is not earning any income. Probably not too bright

I don't think she is, but what if she was? What if OP is just not as smart as you? Does that make her worthy of your scorn? Does that mean she's not as busy as she says? It seems like if OP is really intellectually deficient, she would deserve empathy and kindness, not cruelty. Whenever I encounter people who seem less intelligent than I am, I tend to feel bad for them because I know my intelligence makes my life easier.

So, again: you sound bitter.

NP. OP invited this on herself with her holier-than-thou attitude. Why are you being so defensive?

I don't feel defensive at all. I've been a SAHM and am now a working mom. I think they are both hard. I didn't find OP's post remotely condescending and actually related to much of what she said. I think people do tend to devalue SAHM's time and one reason I know that is that I have done both and noticed that people are much more deferential towards the time I spend working (even when I spend plenty of time doing stuff like posting on DCUM) than they were to the time I spent as a primary caregiver for young kids.

I think people only perceive OP as condescending because of their own feelings about motherhood and work. All she's saying is that she resents when people don't respect her time at least as much as they would respect the time of a nanny doing the exact same thing. That's a reasonable, not condescending, complaint to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a real peach

seriously. she busy taking care of errands all day that working moms have to squeeze into nights and weekends, and complains she is SO BUSY having all dang day to do them at her leisure. OMG stop OP.

You sound bitter.

No, just stating the obvious. How dumb her post was. Not surprising she is not earning any income. Probably not too bright

I don't think she is, but what if she was? What if OP is just not as smart as you? Does that make her worthy of your scorn? Does that mean she's not as busy as she says? It seems like if OP is really intellectually deficient, she would deserve empathy and kindness, not cruelty. Whenever I encounter people who seem less intelligent than I am, I tend to feel bad for them because I know my intelligence makes my life easier.

So, again: you sound bitter.

NP. OP invited this on herself with her holier-than-thou attitude. Why are you being so defensive?

I don't feel defensive at all. I've been a SAHM and am now a working mom. I think they are both hard. I didn't find OP's post remotely condescending and actually related to much of what she said. I think people do tend to devalue SAHM's time and one reason I know that is that I have done both and noticed that people are much more deferential towards the time I spend working (even when I spend plenty of time doing stuff like posting on DCUM) than they were to the time I spent as a primary caregiver for young kids.

I think people only perceive OP as condescending because of their own feelings about motherhood and work. All she's saying is that she resents when people don't respect her time at least as much as they would respect the time of a nanny doing the exact same thing. That's a reasonable, not condescending, complaint to me.

DP, but you honestly don't see the difference between a nanny (i.e., a paid employee) vs. a parent? The OP is making things much harder than they need to be, which is unusual especially for an experienced parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You DEFINITELY have more time to run errands than a WOHM. No one is saying it's not hard to be a SAHM, but it definitely provides a lot more flexibility. I can't go grocery shopping during work or do some laundry. ALL of this has to wait till the weekend. If you are also waiting till the weekend to do this, then it seems like you are really doing the SAHM thing wrong.

What is the WOHM is a nanny for someone else’s kids?

[Anonymous]

^ if not is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a real peach

seriously. she busy taking care of errands all day that working moms have to squeeze into nights and weekends, and complains she is SO BUSY having all dang day to do them at her leisure. OMG stop OP.

You sound bitter.

No, just stating the obvious. How dumb her post was. Not surprising she is not earning any income. Probably not too bright

I don't think she is, but what if she was? What if OP is just not as smart as you? Does that make her worthy of your scorn? Does that mean she's not as busy as she says? It seems like if OP is really intellectually deficient, she would deserve empathy and kindness, not cruelty. Whenever I encounter people who seem less intelligent than I am, I tend to feel bad for them because I know my intelligence makes my life easier.

So, again: you sound bitter.

NP. OP invited this on herself with her holier-than-thou attitude. Why are you being so defensive?

I don't feel defensive at all. I've been a SAHM and am now a working mom. I think they are both hard. I didn't find OP's post remotely condescending and actually related to much of what she said. I think people do tend to devalue SAHM's time and one reason I know that is that I have done both and noticed that people are much more deferential towards the time I spend working (even when I spend plenty of time doing stuff like posting on DCUM) than they were to the time I spent as a primary caregiver for young kids.

I think people only perceive OP as condescending because of their own feelings about motherhood and work. All she's saying is that she resents when people don't respect her time at least as much as they would respect the time of a nanny doing the exact same thing. That's a reasonable, not condescending, complaint to me.

She is NOT a nanny. A nanny gets paid 50,000 or less to spend long work days in their boss's home getting paid to work a J-O-B. A nanny isn't at home with her kids. In fact, the nanny might have childcare arrangements for her own kids. She doesn't have the luxury of trying to do lots of activities during the day with her kids.

This is so, so out of touch, I can't even!! No OP, don't try to martyr yourself as if you are a nanny. You arent!!