I hate when people assume I have a ton of free time because I SAH

[Anonymous]

I just saw the thread on the mom who wants to put it in her nanny contract that the nanny not use her cell phone while baby is awake.

I SAH with a 2 year old, and have two school age kids. I definitely use my cell phone during the day, but I DO try to hold myself to similar standards a WOH parent would hold a nanny - that is, I focus on my kid when he’s awake, so no, I don’t have time for an hour long phone call to chat with my parents, or to drive to pick up random things for the older kids classroom, or whatever. And ideally I’d not set up my two year old in front of the TV so I can workout or whatever else people think SAHMs have to a of time for but would NEVER let their nanny do!

That’s all. I find other SAH parents get that my hands are full, but I’m shocked how many WOHMs think I have all this time on my hands when they simultaneously seem aware that a nanny should be focusing on the kid.

[Anonymous]

You have more time than someone that works all day and has child care and household responsibilities at night. Makes sense?

[Anonymous]

I don't really understand your post, but, when I was a SAHM I would definitely run errands and make phone calls.

[Anonymous]

Ok?

[Anonymous]

You have more time than someone that works all day and has child care and household responsibilities at night. Makes sense?

Exactly. No one is saying you are lounging around doing nothing, but imagine being at work 8 hours a day, plus an hour commute each way, and then tack on seeing your child for an hour or two in the evening and then needing to call your parents to check in.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it’s because focusing your attention exclusively on your 2 year old for 8 hours doesn’t sound that healthy. The only benefit of SAH (IMO) is more time, flexibility, and less stress. You seem to somehow have turned parenting into a job. If you like it that way fine - but there’s nothing better about your way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just saw the thread on the mom who wants to put it in her nanny contract that the nanny not use her cell phone while baby is awake.

I SAH with a 2 year old, and have two school age kids. I definitely use my cell phone during the day, but I DO try to hold myself to similar standards a WOH parent would hold a nanny - that is, I focus on my kid when he’s awake, so no, I don’t have time for an hour long phone call to chat with my parents, or to drive to pick up random things for the older kids classroom, or whatever. And ideally I’d not set up my two year old in front of the TV so I can workout or whatever else people think SAHMs have to a of time for but would NEVER let their nanny do!

That’s all. I find other SAH parents get that my hands are full, but I’m shocked how many WOHMs think I have all this time on my hands when they simultaneously seem aware that a nanny should be focusing on the kid.

You don't run to the store with your 2 yo? Seriously? Why not?

[Anonymous]

I've never thought about it, OP. My friends and acquaintances don't make rude insinuations. I DO have lots of free time, which keeps my generalized anxiety disorder in check. I value my sanity and I'm careful about what volunteering or friend-helping I can commit to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s because focusing your attention exclusively on your 2 year old for 8 hours doesn’t sound that healthy. The only benefit of SAH (IMO) is more time, flexibility, and less stress. You seem to somehow have turned parenting into a job. If you like it that way fine - but there’s nothing better about your way.

Then why don’t people ask nannies to run a bunch of errands or clean the house with a 2 year old in tow?

[Anonymous]

None of us have any free time. We're all busy with life, doing it however we do it.

I WOH, so if I need to call my parents its after work when I'm home with my kid. I also have to do childcare and simultaneously cook dinner, manage pets, etc. It's alot.

Everyone has alot on their plates - and I don't envy whatever extra time SAHMs have because I would absolutely hate being a SAHM (its my personality, I don't judge people who love it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s because focusing your attention exclusively on your 2 year old for 8 hours doesn’t sound that healthy. The only benefit of SAH (IMO) is more time, flexibility, and less stress. You seem to somehow have turned parenting into a job. If you like it that way fine - but there’s nothing better about your way.

Then why don’t people ask nannies to run a bunch of errands or clean the house with a 2 year old in tow?

Plenty of people do. SAHM actually have more responsibilities than nannies so they have more to do in 8 hrs, generally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s because focusing your attention exclusively on your 2 year old for 8 hours doesn’t sound that healthy. The only benefit of SAH (IMO) is more time, flexibility, and less stress. You seem to somehow have turned parenting into a job. If you like it that way fine - but there’s nothing better about your way.

Then why don’t people ask nannies to run a bunch of errands or clean the house with a 2 year old in tow?

Because nannies won’t do it as part of their job. But then they want to be on their cell phone during their job. Can’t have it both ways. SAH moms can and should because they are the boss. Plus they need to get those errands done!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s because focusing your attention exclusively on your 2 year old for 8 hours doesn’t sound that healthy. The only benefit of SAH (IMO) is more time, flexibility, and less stress. You seem to somehow have turned parenting into a job. If you like it that way fine - but there’s nothing better about your way.

Then why don’t people ask nannies to run a bunch of errands or clean the house with a 2 year old in tow?

You seem to have trouble with the distinction between a nanny who is working as an employee in someone else’s household and a person who is running their own household.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like a real peach

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it’s because focusing your attention exclusively on your 2 year old for 8 hours doesn’t sound that healthy. The only benefit of SAH (IMO) is more time, flexibility, and less stress. You seem to somehow have turned parenting into a job. If you like it that way fine - but there’s nothing better about your way.

Then why don’t people ask nannies to run a bunch of errands or clean the house with a 2 year old in tow?

Because nannies won’t do it as part of their job. But then they want to be on their cell phone during their job. Can’t have it both ways. SAH moms can and should because they are the boss. Plus they need to get those errands done!

alternatively, the job of nanny and the job of SAHM are totally different. In any event, I always treated my nannies with trust and humanely. If they needed to make a phone call or rest during the baby’s nap - fine with me. I also had no problem with the nanny getting out of the house and socializing with other nannies during the day. My other nanny used to have friends or her sister come by some time. It was all good and much better than seeing childcare as some kind of highly controlled activity. My kid does not need to be cares for in a SCIF!