A 3rd child in your 40s, would you do it?

[Anonymous]

We are generally healthy (although get tired more easily than we did in our 30s), financially secure and I stay at home now, after 20 years in a lucrative career. Our kids are 3 and 7. If you had kids late, what has the impact been on your energy level and ability to parent them well? Would you do it again?

[Anonymous]

I mean, back before birth control, women typically had their last child in their 40s. So there certainly are many people who did it before you.

Do you have other obligations, e.g., aging parents or sick parents and how involved will you be in their care? I know you stay at home, but what does your DH do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, back before birth control, women typically had their last child in their 40s. So there certainly are many people who did it before you.

Do you have other obligations, e.g., aging parents or sick parents and how involved will you be in their care? I know you stay at home, but what does your DH do?

Back before birth control infant mortality and dying in childbirth were typical.

Op, no I wouldn’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Well, I had my first kid in my 40s and we're gearing up for a potential second so I'd say go for it! We're having a great time.

[Anonymous]

I had my only child when I was 40. What no-one seems to consider is that when your child is a teenager -- that is when you wish you had more energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are generally healthy (although get tired more easily than we did in our 30s), financially secure and I stay at home now, after 20 years in a lucrative career. Our kids are 3 and 7. If you had kids late, what has the impact been on your energy level and ability to parent them well? Would you do it again?

Two is enough Enjoy the kids you have

[Anonymous]

If you want the child, have the child. It sounds like you can love the child enough and financially support them enough. Children need love and a stable family most of all. My parents had my sister at 40 and it really kept them young for so many more years.

[Anonymous]

Peri- menopause starts in your 40s. If you had rough pms you will probably have bad peri-menopause. If so, I’d reconsider.

[Anonymous]

Not enough money, not enough health, not enough house space.

[Anonymous]

40-what, OP?

[Anonymous]

I think there are a few important questions to consider:
- Are you aware of the risks of having a kid in your 40s, both to the mother and baby?
- Is a 3rd kid a good idea financially? You wrote that you're "financially secure." What would it mean for your family's lifestyle, your retirement, and your ability to help with kids' college tuition?
- Do you and DH really want a 3rd kid? Would you regret not having a 3rd kid?

My friends with 3 kids (one had 2 kids in her 40s) seem to be very happy. Busy for sure, but happy. I've heard that having 3 kids instead of 2 is much busier.

[Anonymous]

There is this thing called a pandemic. Remember when people freaked out about Zika? That was junk science. This? Is real and a threat to Moms and babies.

[Anonymous]

Seems selfish. Two is environmentally responsible. More than that is wrong.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t right now. No idea what corona could do to a fetus.

[Anonymous]

Very early 40s is different from mid or late 40s. I might be okay with 40-42 but anything beyond that is frankly playing with fire.