Spouse Slept through Breakfast

Anonymous
Would you be annoyed by this? Spouse is a stay at home parent. I work from home (now). This morning I had time before my early calls so I made a pretty elaborate breakfast for everyone (spouse and two ES kids). Breakfast was served around 9:50. Kids came down and ate and really liked it. Was kind of nice, we usually only do family meals at dinner and probably only a few times a week. Spouse was in bed and our youngest told them that breakfast would be in 10 minutes. Then again when it was ready. Spouse just slept through, and is still in bed at 10:30 while I’ve started working. This is annoying, right? To be fair it is not at all uncommon for spouse to sleep in this late or later, which again is hard to understand for someone who doesn’t have a job (though there are sleeping difficulties involved). I’m not upset or anything, just trying to gauge whether others would care about this.
Anonymous
Are they depressed? Are they getting other things done during the day? That would impact my answer.
Anonymous
If this is normal and spouse was up late, I wouldn't be annoyed. If I had mentioned breakfast the night before, I might be a little annoyed.
Anonymous
Is your spouse an alcoholic? How does she sleep so late?
Anonymous
Does she sleep late at night? Watch movies or chat?
Anonymous

Unless you came and woke her up really nicely with kisses and wheedled her out of bed, I don’t think you should be annoyed she didn’t come down. It sounds as though she neededher sleep, and she didn’t go to bed early because she didn't know you were making something special.

A little apology for having missed the special breakfast would be nice, though.

Medically, she could have sleep apnea, anxiety, depression, or hormonal issues. Discuss it with her.
Anonymous
I would not be annoyed by that. You had time, made breakfast, and enjoyed it with your children. Unless your spouse misses breakfast frequently, what's the problem?
Anonymous
Meh.
Anonymous
My husband sleeps late every single day. It used to annoy me so much because I never got to sleep in without specifically telling him to get up, which he would do, but be so grumpy it wasn't worth it. He also has sleep problems. I've made my peace with it, and decided that I'm 'off the parent clock' right after dinner. He has to do bedtime with the kids every night and supervise baths because I'm tired by then. Every couple of months I do tell him that he's on morning duty the next morning so I can sleep in. I would never make him a special breakfast because I know that he'd rather sleep late than get up to eat anything.
Anonymous
It would only bother me if we had planned to have breakfast together and then he blew it off for no good reason. But, it's not exactly fair for you to decide that you are all doing something together and then get mad if he doesn't show for it. Also, if there are sleep issues, then it's understandable.
Anonymous
You all much be must bigger people than I because I would lose my mind if my DH, who is a SAHD, slept in until 10:30 on the daily while I worked. F that. I wouldn’t be mad about missing breakfast, I would be mad about the sleeping in that late. With kids? I can’t even imagine.
Anonymous
If we'd discussed having a family breakfast, yes, I'd be annoyed. If not, no, probably not.
Anonymous
You say there are “sleeping difficulties”. That’s the key point. Are you being callous towards a SAH parent who is up in the night? Or herself has insomnia?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You all much be must bigger people than I because I would lose my mind if my DH, who is a SAHD, slept in until 10:30 on the daily while I worked. F that. I wouldn’t be mad about missing breakfast, I would be mad about the sleeping in that late. With kids? I can’t even imagine.


Thank you! Thought I was crazy for a hot minute.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If this is normal and spouse was up late, I wouldn't be annoyed. If I had mentioned breakfast the night before, I might be a little annoyed.


Need actual information Op.
was yesterday a long and exhausting day or set of days?
Up late doing more household stuff then an unwind show at 10 or 11am?
Wake up with a migraine?
Did you go to bed early and then wake up early - this waking her up anyhow.
Does this happen many times a week?

Not providing relevant context just looks disingenuous.
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