Spouse Slept through Breakfast

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only way this would be annoying was if today was a special day or event, e.g. an anniversary, birthday, etc. Or if you had scheduled it and announced it. If you just decided this morning that you had enough time to make breakfast, then no, it is not a reason to be annoyed.

In our household, we split the cooking. Both of us have done this in the past and both of us have at time slept in. We value each other enough that when one of us needs the rest that badly that we sleep that late, it's better for the family that that parent gets the sleep.

This. OP sounds overly proud of himself for doing something that ostensibly would be to benefit his kids. I’m sure the mom could make her own breakfast (and likely has 95% of the time).

[Anonymous]

The breakfast seems like a red herring. Why is your spouse sleeping so late on a regular basis if the kids are up and presumably need care (help with breakfast etc)? Treat the insomnia, depression, or whatever. SAHP don’t sleep until after 10am. They get up and start working like the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you be annoyed by this? Spouse is a stay at home parent. I work from home (now). This morning I had time before my early calls so I made a pretty elaborate breakfast for everyone (spouse and two ES kids). Breakfast was served around 9:50. Kids came down and ate and really liked it. Was kind of nice, we usually only do family meals at dinner and probably only a few times a week. Spouse was in bed and our youngest told them that breakfast would be in 10 minutes. Then again when it was ready. Spouse just slept through, and is still in bed at 10:30 while I’ve started working. This is annoying, right? To be fair it is not at all uncommon for spouse to sleep in this late or later, which again is hard to understand for someone who doesn’t have a job (though there are sleeping difficulties involved). I’m not upset or anything, just trying to gauge whether others would care about this.

If you were not upset than you wouldn't post this here. Sorry but,you are upset. Personally I wouldn't be. My spouse is old enough to make their own food. I would make it if they were up and asked but, sleeping? Nope! I would let them sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all much be must bigger people than I because I would lose my mind if my DH, who is a SAHD, slept in until 10:30 on the daily while I worked. F that. I wouldn’t be mad about missing breakfast, I would be mad about the sleeping in that late. With kids? I can’t even imagine.

Depends how old the kids are. I got up at 6 or 7 (or earlier when breastfeeding) to care for little kids for soooo many years. I’m now sleeping in and letting 10-12 year olds make their own breakfast most days. The know to wale me if they need me.
I also think I’m slipping into what Wanda Sykes referred to as the pre-menopausal IDGAF stage, but that’s a different post.

[Anonymous]

Does the spouse have kid duty all day usually. Tsking 1 day to sleep in when poss3isnt a big deal. Everyday thats a different story. Cafing for kids is tough.

[Anonymous]

I would be really upset. Sleeping Problems are no excuse since they won't get better by sleeping through the whole morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The breakfast seems like a red herring. Why is your spouse sleeping so late on a regular basis if the kids are up and presumably need care (help with breakfast etc)? Treat the insomnia, depression, or whatever. SAHP don’t sleep until after 10am. They get up and start working like the rest of us.

I sleep in later than that. I don't need to work. If you need to and don't want to, change your lifestyle to fit your income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all much be must bigger people than I because I would lose my mind if my DH, who is a SAHD, slept in until 10:30 on the daily while I worked. F that. I wouldn’t be mad about missing breakfast, I would be mad about the sleeping in that late. With kids? I can’t even imagine.

Depends how old the kids are. I got up at 6 or 7 (or earlier when breastfeeding) to care for little kids for soooo many years. I’m now sleeping in and letting 10-12 year olds make their own breakfast most days. The know to wale me if they need me.
I also think I’m slipping into what Wanda Sykes referred to as the pre-menopausal IDGAF stage, but that’s a different post.

+1, my 10 year old can get cereal and will play video games or come stay with me while I sleep in. Dad is a morning person. He does the AM shift, I do the PM shift.

[Anonymous]

I would have just brought DW breakfast in bed and enjoyed the time with my children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you be annoyed by this? Spouse is a stay at home parent. I work from home (now). This morning I had time before my early calls so I made a pretty elaborate breakfast for everyone (spouse and two ES kids). Breakfast was served around 9:50. Kids came down and ate and really liked it. Was kind of nice, we usually only do family meals at dinner and probably only a few times a week. Spouse was in bed and our youngest told them that breakfast would be in 10 minutes. Then again when it was ready. Spouse just slept through, and is still in bed at 10:30 while I’ve started working. This is annoying, right? To be fair it is not at all uncommon for spouse to sleep in this late or later, which again is hard to understand for someone who doesn’t have a job (though there are sleeping difficulties involved). I’m not upset or anything, just trying to gauge whether others would care about this.

So your spouse routinely sleeps in late while you work and you care because they missed this one breakfast that you decided on the fly to cook? It sounds like your spouse doesn't normally eat breakfast with the kids, so it's kind of unfair of you to decide that on THIS morning, they have to do so because you wanted to cook. If you care that they sleep in on a regular basis, then address that with them, but it has nothing to do with breakfast. If you care that they missed your big breakfast, ask yourself why you think they should change their routine for one morning because you decided it should be so?

FWIW, I'd be livid if my spouse, who works full-time like I do, slept until 10:30 every morning. I'd be even more mad if I had a SAHS who did this. So I'm not saying your caring is misguided, I'm saying it might be misplaced because it's unclear what you care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be really upset. Sleeping Problems are no excuse since they won't get better by sleeping through the whole morning.

I occasionally have horrific insomnia. If I’m sleeping even an extra hour later than normal it can correct what might be a awful day. Thankfully my spouse is emotionally intelligent enough to understand and adapt as needed. I do the same for him. We aren’t on rival teams nor the other’s parent. You balance needs. No pouting.

[Anonymous]

If it were a one time or occasional thing, I wouldn’t care. If this was common, I’d be pissed.

[Anonymous]

Your spouse sounds like me. I have always, all my life, been a late sleeper but an evening/late night doer. Does your spouse do a lot of dinner, bedtime chores, cleaning, organizing, Bill paying bills in the evening? If s/he is pulling their weight but just not a morning person maybe you can appreciate that they do what they can and are at their best later in the day.

[Anonymous]

I have sleeping issues and I sleep in later than DH AND exercise every morning. I SAH and he works from home given covid. He handles the kids (pre-k and early elementary) almost every morning from wake up to breakfast. Pre-covid, When he traveled regularly, I was with the kids around the clock. These days, there’s nowhere to take the kids and nothing to do in this heat and I’m with them all day - I deserve a break, as does your wife. The kids are always here and there’s no end in sight. It’s relentless. My DH does what he can to support me and I do the same for him. It sounds like your wife needed the rest. Stop keeping score and do what you can to support one another in these unprecedented times. I’m so grateful for DH when I read this stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Breakfast has nothing to do with it
Sleep till 10 am, that is a concern

Why? Everybody has different sleep needs and schedules.

+1. DH and I are two highly successful 35 year olds. Without a baby waking us up, we'd sleep until 10 or 11 easily. And I know this because we trade off days.

I took a day off the other week because I was feeling run down. DH took the kids and went on a hike when they woke at 8. I didn't awake until 11 naturally. BLISS. Go ahead and judge me. I needed that sleep. I work 10 hour days now.