I found his burner phone.

[Anonymous]

My lovely husband of 5 years has been cheating on me.

I found a burner phone in his toolbox of all places. Nothing was deleted.

There was photos. Trips they’ve taken together that I thought was a guys trip. They’ve met at his house, air bnbs, parking lots, everywhere.

He complained about me. About our vanilla intimate life. He was texting her goodnight last night.

We don’t have kids together. She’s a single mom. I feel sick. I know who she is - just a Facebook friend. They knew eachother before I even met him. He’s said things to her how he’s always had a crush on her.

I feel sick.

[Anonymous]

His house? Does he live in a different house?

I’m so sorry. I found out about my husband’s affair just 3 months ago.

It is an awful, horrible, vomit-inducing feeling. I still have PTSD trauma.

[Anonymous]

Be thankful that you don't have kids. Fire for divorce and move on.

[Anonymous]

Have you figured out what you want to happen next?

If I read you right, you say you have no kids. I'd strongly consider keeping the phone for now, and taking a couple of days to think about it. Stay with family or friends if you can (hard during pandemic), or sleep overnight in a hotel (there is a lot of care about social distancing and spacing out room use, both temporally and physically). Talk to friends, family, and/or a therapist. Figure out what you want, and then have the big conversation.

This is a big deal. You need time and space to even understand what your own reaction is.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry.

First step, take care protecting yourself.

[Anonymous]

AH. On rereading -- and reading between the lines -- it sounds like there are kids, just not ones the two of you had together. I wouldn't involve the kids until you figure out what you want and what is possible to have, moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Take the phone. Keep if for evidence for divorce.

Get an STD test.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't sound lovely at all.

[Anonymous]

My sister lived with her boyfriend for 10 years. She supported him financially, paid his child support, let him live in her paid off house. They decide to get married after my sister paid for his divorce. She asked me for some advice. I said you are grown, do what you want to do but do not put his name on anything you own. She even bought her own wedding rings. Married a month he told her she was boring, packed his things and left. My sister nearly died from grief. They almost bought a house together. Or should I say SHE was going to buy a house for them. Luckily she needed my signature to sell the home my mother left her and couldn't get in touch with me. By the time she did contact me he had left and she was devastated. I don't know why she thought he was a good person. He did the same thing to his first wife and 4 kids.

She found out he had another woman he met on his trucking route that he impregnated and decided he wanted her instead. I paid for my sister's divorce. No kids thank God. She's still pining for him. He owes her money she will never collect. I told her to quit doing trauma to herself and move on.

OP, make a plan now. True love doesn't cheat. True love doesn't hurt. You deserve better. That hurt will fade.

[Anonymous]

No kids = instant easy divorce, no brainer.

I am sorry. I know *exactly* how you feel now, sister.

[Anonymous]

Why are so many men such complete sh!t bags?

Sorry, OP. He sucks. Take the high road and leave him completely. Let his head spin.

[Anonymous]

"His house"? Start working on your exit plan OP. He prefers a single mom side piece, which isn't too bright. If you aren't a troll, get ready to leave since you have a head start.

[Anonymous]

Thank goodness you don’t have kids. Move out right away and move on. And get divorced.

[Anonymous]

No kids makes this easy- divorce. There’s no other sane option.

[Anonymous]

Keep the phone.
Kick him out (unless it is his house, you were a bit unclear), or leave ASAP.
You deserve better.