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Take photos of everything. If you live in Virginia this matters. I’m so sorry, OP. Be thankful it wS 5 years and not 50, 25, or 5 more. And check out this website I recently found. It has been very helpful as I’ve Navi’s aged difficult emotional terrain to.
https://natashaadamo.com/the-museum-of-me-where-the-white-horse-resides/ If you need to escape to process emotionally, safely, without showing your hand or losing your dignity, do it. Then think about how you want to take the control you can take in his situation. This is a reflection of HIS LIES. Not your judgment. Big hugs and lots of loce your way. You will make it on the other side of this and look back with gratitude! Be strong, and be wise! Love you first. |
| Loce is love! |
Yep. Don’t even return it or mention it. Perfect advice. It’s marital property, no? |
| I would keep the phone and say absolutely nothing, but immediately make arrangements to leave. |
| Pack his crap, leave it at the curb or drive it to her house and tell her to keep him. |
Same here. Put on your game face and make your exit plan. So very sorry you're going through this. |
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You need to talk to an attorney ASAP. Do not tell your H you found the phone until you do this.
If for some reason you can't avoid this, put a hold on any joint accounts. Depending on the state and how they are funded, a lawyer may tell you to clean them out first, but in some states that is a no-no. But AT LEAST notify the bank etc that no withdrawals are to be made without your authorization. Try to read the bank's standard agreement--it's usually online--so you can do what you have to do. If you have 20 grand together in a savings account, he may well try to cash out the account if you let him know you are on to him. |
+1000 Whatever you do, DO NOT stay with him. Count yourself lucky you found out before having a baby with him. |
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Text the phone. I wants a deevorce biaaatch.
Don’t feel bad. I am sure so many men do this and no one finds the phone. The wife goes along smiling while someone else is focking her husband. |
Wait - what??!? She hasn’t even confronted him about it, or heard his side of things (let alone tried therapy / counseling). |
| Oh plz..troll. none has a burner any more. Google voice is the way to go |
Skype was the modus operandi for my d-bag husband and his married whore AP. No phones, No text messages, no trace. |
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Agreed with those who said make your exit plan. And know that exit can be separation, divorce, or working on your marriage. It’s up to you.
I would also get financial house in order. Make sure you have a record of all assets, even those that may only be in his name. |
Thank goodness you don't have kids. Leave. Cut your losses and leave. |
| I'm sorry, OP. When there aren't kids involved, people act like divorce is easy, no big deal. But it's still awful. Sometimes worse, because now you face being ALONE alone. I'm going through a divorce now bevause my husband of 20 years was cheating long term. No kids, which was our choice, but selfishly now I wish I had some for companionship. Hang in there. |