I found his burner phone.

[Anonymous]

Those advocating to tell the cheating spouse’s employer are short sighted. You want the cheater gainfully employed so they can pay things like child support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re brave and can leave his ass. Do it now. Be thankful you don’t have kids with him.

But plenty of marriages survive a little infinitely. OP should try talking with him about it, then maybe counseling first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re brave and can leave his ass. Do it now. Be thankful you don’t have kids with him.

But plenty of marriages survive a little infinitely. OP should try talking with him about it, then maybe counseling first.

F@ck that. This wasn’t a “small” incident. It wasn’t a drunken one night stand.

This guy had a burner phone and told the mistress he didn’t like his wife. He went on trips with the whore. That’s hardly “a little bit”. It’s unforgivable. A guy Or woman like that will do it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My lovely husband of 5 years has been cheating on me.

I found a burner phone in his toolbox of all places. Nothing was deleted.

There was photos. Trips they’ve taken together that I thought was a guys trip. They’ve met at his house, air bnbs, parking lots, everywhere.

He complained about me. About our vanilla intimate life. He was texting her goodnight last night.

We don’t have kids together. She’s a single mom. I feel sick. I know who she is - just a Facebook friend. They knew eachother before I even met him. He’s said things to her how he’s always had a crush on her.

I feel sick.

No one addressed the “vanilla intimate life?”

Maybe that’s the main contributing factor in this whole thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some scorned women in this world. Keeping the phone or a PP
said, “When you go, leave the phone someplace awesome.”
We don’t give a rats azz about being exposed as a cheater. Like it’s some dirty little secret? BFD, it happens all the time.

Really? You don’t care if friends, neighbors, families get sent copies of your dirty pics and texts?

Okay

What would be the point of that? Why would anyone subject these people to such a thing?

To humiliate the cheater. I sent it to his mom.

That isn’t humiliation. It’s being vindictive and dragging others into your shit. All you did was succeed in making yourself look cray and justifying his actions in stepping out.

NP, I don’t think it’s crazy if she mentions cheating to friends/family. I don’t get your thought process of not revealing cheating at all. If it’s not a big deal then let people know in a factual, non-dramatic way. It’s just facts. I would want to know if someone is a cheater. It tells you something about that person (it may not tell you anything but it does tell me something).
Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My lovely husband of 5 years has been cheating on me.

I found a burner phone in his toolbox of all places. Nothing was deleted.

There was photos. Trips they’ve taken together that I thought was a guys trip. They’ve met at his house, air bnbs, parking lots, everywhere.

He complained about me. About our vanilla intimate life. He was texting her goodnight last night.

We don’t have kids together. She’s a single mom. I feel sick. I know who she is - just a Facebook friend. They knew eachother before I even met him. He’s said things to her how he’s always had a crush on her.

I feel sick.

No one addressed the “vanilla intimate life?”

Maybe that’s the main contributing factor in this whole thing?

Seriously? How about either you work on that together or divorce first? This is crazy ass rationale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some scorned women in this world. Keeping the phone or a PP
said, “When you go, leave the phone someplace awesome.”
We don’t give a rats azz about being exposed as a cheater. Like it’s some dirty little secret? BFD, it happens all the time.

Really? You don’t care if friends, neighbors, families get sent copies of your dirty pics and texts?

Okay

What would be the point of that? Why would anyone subject these people to such a thing?

To humiliate the cheater. I sent it to his mom.

That isn’t humiliation. It’s being vindictive and dragging others into your shit. All you did was succeed in making yourself look cray and justifying his actions in stepping out.

Thank you! Some else agrees with me that all it does is make the woman look coo-coo for cocoa nuts.

Cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

[Anonymous]

You don’t know me and I don’t give a F about you. What people do in their personal lives should have no bearing on their work performance. You’re telling me, you never fudged the numbers in your tax return? “I donated to such and such.” Well, that makes you a cheater and I need to notify your employer.

BTW, I own up to my flaws and produce a crap ton of money for my employer. They could care less, what I do outside of work thank you...

Wow, you sound like a real pleasure to be around. No wonder your DW has no interest in having sex with you.

And no, of course I don't cheat on my taxes. Most people don't. You just live in a world where lies are your norm and you assume everyone else has the same crappy moral code. News flash - they don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some scorned women in this world. Keeping the phone or a PP
said, “When you go, leave the phone someplace awesome.”
We don’t give a rats azz about being exposed as a cheater. Like it’s some dirty little secret? BFD, it happens all the time.

Really? You don’t care if friends, neighbors, families get sent copies of your dirty pics and texts?

Okay

What would be the point of that? Why would anyone subject these people to such a thing?

To humiliate the cheater. I sent it to his mom.

That isn’t humiliation. It’s being vindictive and dragging others into your shit. All you did was succeed in making yourself look cray and justifying his actions in stepping out.

NP, I don’t think it’s crazy if she mentions cheating to friends/family. I don’t get your thought process of not revealing cheating at all. If it’s not a big deal then let people know in a factual, non-dramatic way. It’s just facts. I would want to know if someone is a cheater. It tells you something about that person (it may not tell you anything but it does tell me something).
Me

Thought process is they want to remain being a dirt-ball in secret while projecting a clean fake image to everyone else. The betrayed spouse is under zero obligation to keep up this fallacy. In fact, therapists recommend exposure. Without exposure they will never change. They still might not even with exposure, but shining a light on their deceitful low moral behavior often shakes them out of there entitled fog.

[Anonymous]

*their

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My lovely husband of 5 years has been cheating on me.

I found a burner phone in his toolbox of all places. Nothing was deleted.

There was photos. Trips they’ve taken together that I thought was a guys trip. They’ve met at his house, air bnbs, parking lots, everywhere.

He complained about me. About our vanilla intimate life. He was texting her goodnight last night.

We don’t have kids together. She’s a single mom. I feel sick. I know who she is - just a Facebook friend. They knew eachother before I even met him. He’s said things to her how he’s always had a crush on her.

I feel sick.

No one addressed the “vanilla intimate life?”

Maybe that’s the main contributing factor in this whole thing?

You do know that vanilla is a delicious and subtle flavor, right? It seems wrong to me that it gets used to call something dull. Vanilla is completely amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:See a lawyer immediately to get good advice to protect your share of assets. Laws vary from state to state. Would take out half of money in joint accounts and transfer that to an account just in your name to prevent him from emptying them. Keep the phone, immediately email yourself pictures and forward emails/texts so if he can wipe his phone remotely you still have copies. Take valuables that belong to you (jewelry, etc) and secure them in a safety deposit box or safe place he can’t access. Look out for your well being, financial future and safety first. I’m sorry he acted this way, hope you have some family or supportive friends to lean on.

Remember this... Whatever money she take from a joint account, it will all be brought up in court. I agree she should get money and protect herself. I’m not saying she shouldn’t.
Copies of texts and pictures for what? Keep them for piece of mind? To show everyone he’s a cheater? I doubt he cares and doubt he will have hurt feelings. Do you think having evidence will have any outcome on the amount of money she is entitled to?
Do you think the more pictures and texts will increase the dollar amount she will receive? There are no punishment guidelines for divorce.
Affair = Split assets 3/4.
Irreconcilable differences = Split assets 1/2.
Numerous friends have all gone through divorce for one reason or another and the financial support is the same unless it was all worked out ahead of time in the event of a divorce. Prenup...

Not true in every state. That said — it is better for her to have operating cash that is repaid later than being broke and not having means to protect herself because he grabbed the bag of money and wiped out everything. If he would lie about a relationship with another person, i would not put that type of behavior past him. OP can take 50% and document everything. 5 years is a long time. Not 50, but not insignificant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My lovely husband of 5 years has been cheating on me.

I found a burner phone in his toolbox of all places. Nothing was deleted.

There was photos. Trips they’ve taken together that I thought was a guys trip. They’ve met at his house, air bnbs, parking lots, everywhere.

He complained about me. About our vanilla intimate life. He was texting her goodnight last night.

We don’t have kids together. She’s a single mom. I feel sick. I know who she is - just a Facebook friend. They knew eachother before I even met him. He’s said things to her how he’s always had a crush on her.

I feel sick.

No one addressed the “vanilla intimate life?”

Maybe that’s the main contributing factor in this whole thing?

You do know that vanilla is a delicious and subtle flavor, right? It seems wrong to me that it gets used to call something dull. Vanilla is completely amazing.

Yup, especially when you drizzle the chocolate sauce on top with a sweet cherry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My lovely husband of 5 years has been cheating on me.

I found a burner phone in his toolbox of all places. Nothing was deleted.

There was photos. Trips they’ve taken together that I thought was a guys trip. They’ve met at his house, air bnbs, parking lots, everywhere.

He complained about me. About our vanilla intimate life. He was texting her goodnight last night.

We don’t have kids together. She’s a single mom. I feel sick. I know who she is - just a Facebook friend. They knew eachother before I even met him. He’s said things to her how he’s always had a crush on her.

I feel sick.

No one addressed the “vanilla intimate life?”

Maybe that’s the main contributing factor in this whole thing?

Cheating is something that the cheater is responsible for, period.

Any other marital issues are separate and should be addressed separately. Sure it may contribute, but it is not a justification, and doesn’t make or settle the case at hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You don’t know me and I don’t give a F about you. What people do in their personal lives should have no bearing on their work performance. You’re telling me, you never fudged the numbers in your tax return? “I donated to such and such.” Well, that makes you a cheater and I need to notify your employer.

BTW, I own up to my flaws and produce a crap ton of money for my employer. They could care less, what I do outside of work thank you...

Wow, you sound like a real pleasure to be around. No wonder your DW has no interest in having sex with you.

And no, of course I don't cheat on my taxes. Most people don't. You just live in a world where lies are your norm and you assume everyone else has the same crappy moral code. News flash - they don't.

I am very pleasurable to be around and with. There you go again, judging. You’re holier than thou? My place on earth is not to judge, especially you. No, lies are not the norm in my life. As a matter of fact, I tell people what they don’t want to hear, stick to facts and their feelings get hurt. Not my problem...