if you really love kids, how does it feel when they're adults but you don't have grandchildren?

[Anonymous]

I have always loved children so much, and sadly it appears I didn't pass that onto my children. More and more it looks like I may not be the grandparent I wanted so badly to be. Curious how any of you in the same position managed those feelings of longing?

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

PP here. I only have one grandkid and I know it will be 7+ years (I can reasonable hope it’ll be that long!) until another comes.

[Anonymous]

It’s driving me crazy though I know they do want children at some point. I have a friend who has 8 very young grandchildren and I am very jealous though I am very happy for her.

[Anonymous]

It's their life to live, not yours. If you need some therapy to help process that, by all means do. Do not pressure your children to have children, and please, do not call their dogs and cats your grand-dogs and grand-cats.

[Anonymous]

You had the opportunity to decide whether you wanted to parent. That comes once, if you are lucky.

You don't get two opportunities to make that call (once for you and once for them). Accept that that time in your life has passed.

Do volunteer work with children. There are many in need of love and responsible role models.

[Anonymous]

I am 40 with two daughters, and I think about this sometimes. My two are the only two grandkids my parents will have due to my sister not wanting kids. And that is fine. But I do really really hope I get to have grandkids. I'm trying to lay the groundwork now by giving my kids a happy childhood and planning for modest financial stability in retirement.

If I don't have grandkids, or maybe even if I do, I'll find a way to volunteer. Maybe foster care respite or something. I might do that either way.

[Anonymous]

Volunteer, OP! Not this year, but next year when Covid is gone I’d love to have someone like you in my classroom to read to kids or help with activities.

I have one child. He’s the only grand kid on both sides, and we live across the country from grandparents. I know it’s hard because they wish they could see him and be a part of his life, but that’s not how life shook out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You had the opportunity to decide whether you wanted to parent. That comes once, if you are lucky.

You don't get two opportunities to make that call (once for you and once for them). Accept that that time in your life has passed.

Do volunteer work with children. There are many in need of love and responsible role models.

This. There are lots of ways to scratch that itch.

[Anonymous]

Entitled much OP? What do you care if your children have their own children? It's their bodies, their reproductive choices. Shake my head at you indulgent Baby Boomers.

[Anonymous]

We’re not even going to have one. Count your blessings, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Entitled much OP? What do you care if your children have their own children? It's their bodies, their reproductive choices. Shake my head at you indulgent Baby Boomers.

I don't think OP is entitled. It's understandable that they want grandchildren. They don't have a right to them, but they're not doing anything wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Entitled much OP? What do you care if your children have their own children? It's their bodies, their reproductive choices. Shake my head at you indulgent Baby Boomers.

I don't think OP is entitled. It's understandable that they want grandchildren. They don't have a right to them, but they're not doing anything wrong.

I agree! OP can want grandkids and express that to friends or to DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Do your kids want to become parents? Is it financial? Can you help?

[Anonymous]

Look around your neighborhood, there may be a family who would like an adoptive grandparent.