if you really love kids, how does it feel when they're adults but you don't have grandchildren?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had the opportunity to decide whether you wanted to parent. That comes once, if you are lucky.

You don't get two opportunities to make that call (once for you and once for them). Accept that that time in your life has passed.

Do volunteer work with children. There are many in need of love and responsible role models.

This. There are lots of ways to scratch that itch.

NP It really doesn't change the paradigm...the family just stops. No family gatherings, vacations at the beach. Never though this would be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Entitled much OP? What do you care if your children have their own children? It's their bodies, their reproductive choices. Shake my head at you indulgent Baby Boomers.

I don't think OP is entitled. It's understandable that they want grandchildren. They don't have a right to them, but they're not doing anything wrong.

I agree! OP can want grandkids and express that to friends or to DCUM.

No one is a criminal for wanting grandkids. But to this angry poster accusing Baby Boomers of being indulgent, I just have to laugh. Baby Boomers are hardly indulgent...you have the wrong generation, Millennial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have always loved children so much, and sadly it appears I didn't pass that onto my children. More and more it looks like I may not be the grandparent I wanted so badly to be. Curious how any of you in the same position managed those feelings of longing?

. How old are your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had the opportunity to decide whether you wanted to parent. That comes once, if you are lucky.

You don't get two opportunities to make that call (once for you and once for them). Accept that that time in your life has passed.

Do volunteer work with children. There are many in need of love and responsible role models.

This. There are lots of ways to scratch that itch.

NP It really doesn't change the paradigm...the family just stops. No family gatherings, vacations at the beach. Never though this would be it.

Why can't you vacation and gather with your children. ..

[Anonymous]

My sibling and I both had our first child at 38. People are waiting longer these days for better or worse. How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had the opportunity to decide whether you wanted to parent. That comes once, if you are lucky.

You don't get two opportunities to make that call (once for you and once for them). Accept that that time in your life has passed.

Do volunteer work with children. There are many in need of love and responsible role models.

This. There are lots of ways to scratch that itch.

NP It really doesn't change the paradigm...the family just stops. No family gatherings, vacations at the beach. Never though this would be it.

Why can't you vacation and gather with your children. ..

They aren't children. They are adults who might live anywhere. You think it's all about an activity or an experience here or there ..transactional. You simply do not understand that cursory or even warm relations with other children still do not mean family. Understand the gestalt of the concept, not the shallow optics. Sure, I can walk over and build a sand castle with some random kid. How is that a family?

[Anonymous]

OMG. If I read one more comment about volunteering (we are) or seeing other people's kids, I'll scream. This alone explains what this generation just does not understand.

[Anonymous]

I'm 32 and I don't have kids nor do I want them. My dad lives on the beach and his neighbors are a couple in their 40s with young kids. He's close with them, and he goes fishing and crabbing with the kids, and when he jogs they like to "chase" him on their bikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had the opportunity to decide whether you wanted to parent. That comes once, if you are lucky.

You don't get two opportunities to make that call (once for you and once for them). Accept that that time in your life has passed.

Do volunteer work with children. There are many in need of love and responsible role models.

This. There are lots of ways to scratch that itch.

NP It really doesn't change the paradigm...the family just stops. No family gatherings, vacations at the beach. Never though this would be it.

Why can't you vacation and gather with your children. ..

They aren't children. They are adults who might live anywhere. You think it's all about an activity or an experience here or there ..transactional. You simply do not understand that cursory or even warm relations with other children still do not mean family. Understand the gestalt of the concept, not the shallow optics. Sure, I can walk over and build a sand castle with some random kid. How is that a family?

It wouldn’t happen like that. But it does sometimes happen. A family in your neighborhood may have young kids and no grandparents around. Over the years a bond can form over the years.

[Anonymous]

I understand where you are coming from OP. I'm a grandfather with a bunch of little grandchildren and I adore them. I'm not the warmest guy on the planet but I'm a different person when I'm with them. Just yesterday when I walked into my daughter's home her 2.5 year old daughter ran across two big rooms to hug me. Of course in about 5 seconds she wanted to be put down! My father was the exact same way with his grandchildren. Holidays are so much more fun when there is kid chaos.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you tried taking to them and asking them (no judgementally) if you can help in any way? If they say no, drop it.

It all depends on why they don't have children: do they not have partners? Do they say they don't want kids? Are they dealing with infertility?

If they don't want kids, nothing you can do there. But you can still have beach vacations once in a while, with your adult kids. If you value them and their partners, you are still family, right?

People realize when you only value them for their ability to make grandkids. I know, I'm infertile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Entitled much OP? What do you care if your children have their own children? It's their bodies, their reproductive choices. Shake my head at you indulgent Baby Boomers.

I don't think OP is entitled. It's understandable that they want grandchildren. They don't have a right to them, but they're not doing anything wrong.

I agree! OP can want grandkids and express that to friends or to DCUM.

+1 There's nothing wrong with expressing - on an anonymous forum, no less - that OP would like grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if OP is the same person who started the "I'm upset that my kids aren't interested in getting married or having children" thread.

[Anonymous]

Most of us who have had children look forward to having grandchildren because you have the time to really enjoy them. When you are raising children you are so busy you can’t always find time to enjoy it. Now you get to rent without owning! But if your kids don’t want children of their own there is nothing you can do. But there is no substitute!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG. If I read one more comment about volunteering (we are) or seeing other people's kids, I'll scream. This alone explains what this generation just does not understand.

Did you have children to satisfy your parents and give them grandchildren? Or did you have children because you were ready to start a family with your partner?