Do I tell my kids they are mixed?

[Anonymous]

I always suspected there was likely African American in my ancestry, because my no one seemed to know anything about my maternal grandfathers family. My grandfather when he was alive became extremely uncomfortable at the topic. After a ton of digging and researching, I confirmed that my great-grandfather was indeed black. My grandmother changed her race on the census when she was 19 because she could pass. (Earlier census records say negro)
I was made fun of relentlessly as a child about my hair and kids would even say “you have black people hair.” (No black kids in Appalachian Kentucky) I am embarrassed to say I used to cry wishing I had “white girl” hair. I wish I would have known, I wish I had been told that having different hair was okay, and just as beautiful. my mom claims she didn’t know. I obviously want to share this with my children. What is the best way to share and explain why they don’t look black despite having a black great-great grandfather. We have talked about race and racism, but I haven’t talked much about our heritage or where our family comes from.

[Anonymous]

Oops that should say my great-great grandfather was black, and my great-grandfather changed her race on the census.

-Op

[Anonymous]

Do your family genealogy with them and be proud of it. Show them who they are.

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness, yes change it back and embrace this part of your heritage. I always feel so sad when I see the Oprah shows etc. of people who had to "pass" What a horrible time in our history.

[Anonymous]

I think you should tell them - without all the drama

[Anonymous]

Their great-great-great grandfather was black. Tell them that.

I wouldn’t refer to them “mixed race.”

[Anonymous]

You didn't say how old your kids were.

FWIW, I am jewish and have "jew fro" hair. I've always wished I had much less frizz and my hair could be straight and pretty. Or curly and pretty. But just not frizzy.

Of course tell your kids what your relatives did.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to them OP.

Lots of people hid their race or "passed" for while back in the day, because it gave them a better future. I'm getting a DNA test soon, for just this reason, so I have a better idea of my heritage.

[Anonymous]

Ummm, I'd get some verification first.

A DNA genealogy test kit is like $99.

https://www.23andme.com/dna-ancestry/

[Anonymous]

Your kids then are most 1/16th and more importantly you don't identify as black, you weren't raised in a black family, except for curly hair you don't look black. Mention it in passing but it is really offensive when white people who are 1/16th and weren't raised in a black family go around saying they understand the struggle because they are part black too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ummm, I'd get some verification first.

A DNA genealogy test kit is like $99.

https://www.23andme.com/dna-ancestry/

My great-grandmothers census records(she died when I was about 9) seem like pretty accurate info and the fact that her father is buried in a African American cemetery in North Carolina, because he could not be buried in a “white cemetery”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their great-great-great grandfather was black. Tell them that.

I wouldn’t refer to them “mixed race.”

Black biracial person here (i.e., one of my parents is black; other is a "brown" race). I agree with PP. I'd just say you have a small amount of African ancestry due to a white-passing ancestor. As far as "passing," you can just explain that societal conditions were unfair for black people at that time, so much so that some with mixed heritage decided to "pass" into white society. A lot has been written on this phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids then are most 1/16th and more importantly you don't identify as black, you weren't raised in a black family, except for curly hair you don't look black. Mention it in passing but it is really offensive when white people who are 1/16th and weren't raised in a black family go around saying they understand the struggle because they are part black too.

Oh gosh, no I was certainly not claiming to struggle because of my heritage at all. The teasing about my hair was just a tip that I might have African American heritage. I will never understand what our black community have gone through and are continuing to go through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids then are most 1/16th and more importantly you don't identify as black, you weren't raised in a black family, except for curly hair you don't look black. Mention it in passing but it is really offensive when white people who are 1/16th and weren't raised in a black family go around saying they understand the struggle because they are part black too.

Yes, please don’t start saying you’re black. If you’ve been passing as white this whole time, you have no idea what the black experience is like in this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ummm, I'd get some verification first.

A DNA genealogy test kit is like $99.

https://www.23andme.com/dna-ancestry/

awful idea, I would not want some private company having my DNA.