Do I tell my kids they are mixed?

[Anonymous]

I have sort of "black hair" and I've always known that my mother's mother was born out of wedlock in rural Tennessee. Her mother committed suicide and my grandmother was treated very poorly as a child because of "the shame."

I assumed there was a chance her father was African American. But my sister did 23andMe and it turns out we are white as white can be.

I was disappointed.

[Anonymous]

The United States had the “one drop” rule, which actually does mean that her kids are biracial. It’s a little ridiculous to say that they aren’t given the clear history of how race was turned into a legal category in this country.

Whether or not they identify as mixed race is up to them. And it’s not about how they “look” necessarily. I am a very light skinned woman of brown ethnicity(both sides of my family are brown). I am the only one in my family who easily passes as white. My DNA shows that I am half indigenous, 1% African heritage, and the rest Western European. I do not at al identity as African American or indigenous because I wasn’t raised in those cultures, but that is also because my culture of origin sees those as identities are negative and refuses to acknowledge them if you can pretend you only have European roots. That’s actually very sad, and if I ever did want to explore those parts of my roots, it is even sadder that I might be condemned for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The United States had the “one drop” rule, which actually does mean that her kids are biracial. It’s a little ridiculous to say that they aren’t given the clear history of how race was turned into a legal category in this country.

Whether or not they identify as mixed race is up to them. And it’s not about how they “look” necessarily. I am a very light skinned woman of brown ethnicity(both sides of my family are brown). I am the only one in my family who easily passes as white. My DNA shows that I am half indigenous, 1% African heritage, and the rest Western European. I do not at al identity as African American or indigenous because I wasn’t raised in those cultures, but that is also because my culture of origin sees those as identities are negative and refuses to acknowledge them if you can pretend you only have European roots. That’s actually very sad, and if I ever did want to explore those parts of my roots, it is even sadder that I might be condemned for it.

OP's great great grandfather was black which means that she's 1/32 black and her children are 1/64 black. The one drop rule really only applies to people who can be physically identified as having African ancestry (despite curly hair, I'm guessing that's not OP's experience) and/or in slavery/segregation era, someone whose African ancestry was known even if they were white passing.

Biracial means the first generation children of one white and one black parent. For OP's children to be biracial, either OP or her husband would have to be black.

OP is a white person with distant black ancestry. That's interesting but her children are not mixed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The United States had the “one drop” rule, which actually does mean that her kids are biracial. It’s a little ridiculous to say that they aren’t given the clear history of how race was turned into a legal category in this country.

Whether or not they identify as mixed race is up to them. And it’s not about how they “look” necessarily. I am a very light skinned woman of brown ethnicity(both sides of my family are brown). I am the only one in my family who easily passes as white. My DNA shows that I am half indigenous, 1% African heritage, and the rest Western European. I do not at al identity as African American or indigenous because I wasn’t raised in those cultures, but that is also because my culture of origin sees those as identities are negative and refuses to acknowledge them if you can pretend you only have European roots. That’s actually very sad, and if I ever did want to explore those parts of my roots, it is even sadder that I might be condemned for it.

OP's great great grandfather was black which means that she's 1/32 black and her children are 1/64 black. The one drop rule really only applies to people who can be physically identified as having African ancestry (despite curly hair, I'm guessing that's not OP's experience) and/or in slavery/segregation era, someone whose African ancestry was known even if they were white passing.

Biracial means the first generation children of one white and one black parent. For OP's children to be biracial, either OP or her husband would have to be black.

OP is a white person with distant black ancestry. That's interesting but her children are not mixed.

Since it was OP’s great grandfather that was black (though likely had some European ancestry too given the history of slavery), OP is at most 1/16 black and her kids are 1/32. But I agree it’s interesting but they are not biracial.

[Anonymous]

You guys are right, I was wrong to use the word mixed race. Thank you to the person who suggested just using the term “black ancestry.”

In regards to the comments about curly hair. My hair is not just curly. My daughter has Caucasian looking curly hair, my hair is slightly textured. My mom had no idea what to do with it, so she would put it in multiple thick braids, which obviously was not a typical hair style among my classmates. I have been called the N word, and called the “nappy haired girl.” My skin is darker, but I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I have had hair stylist asks if I am mixed, and even black friends who have asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should tell them - without all the drama

+1. Yes, lots of drama and one of the most important things left out...how old the kids are

[Anonymous]

Must be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Must be a troll.

Nope. But you sure are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should tell them - without all the drama

+1. Yes, lots of drama and one of the most important things left out...how old the kids are

Kids are 7 and 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Must be a troll.

Nope. But you sure are.

Well, if you are not a troll, you should be more aware of how racist your title sounds and how insane you sound based on a great, great great grandfather and "telling my kids they are mixed." The way you used it sounded just like mongrel to me, and your whole post is nuts. Your kids look white, they are white, and some far away 1/64 black ancestor does not make your kids African American. You might have been made fun in school due to your hair, but somehow you picked up every single offensive term and put it in your thread.

[Anonymous]

I mean I would tell them the story. Because it’s interesting and a good discussion as to why back then people would have wanted to pass as white. But I wouldn’t tell them they are mixed race bc they aren’t. I discovered I am 8% Jewish from a dna test - most interesting thing about me, but I don’t get to claim it in the same way as if I was actually raised Jewish. Same story with a great grandparent that told everyone she was Italian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The United States had the “one drop” rule, which actually does mean that her kids are biracial. It’s a little ridiculous to say that they aren’t given the clear history of how race was turned into a legal category in this country.

Whether or not they identify as mixed race is up to them. And it’s not about how they “look” necessarily. I am a very light skinned woman of brown ethnicity(both sides of my family are brown). I am the only one in my family who easily passes as white. My DNA shows that I am half indigenous, 1% African heritage, and the rest Western European. I do not at al identity as African American or indigenous because I wasn’t raised in those cultures, but that is also because my culture of origin sees those as identities are negative and refuses to acknowledge them if you can pretend you only have European roots. That’s actually very sad, and if I ever did want to explore those parts of my roots, it is even sadder that I might be condemned for it.

Um, no. Biracial means that one parent is black (or another race). I would not even consider OP multiracial. She has distance African genes that have had no effect on how she moves through the world as a white person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The United States had the “one drop” rule, which actually does mean that her kids are biracial. It’s a little ridiculous to say that they aren’t given the clear history of how race was turned into a legal category in this country.

Whether or not they identify as mixed race is up to them. And it’s not about how they “look” necessarily. I am a very light skinned woman of brown ethnicity(both sides of my family are brown). I am the only one in my family who easily passes as white. My DNA shows that I am half indigenous, 1% African heritage, and the rest Western European. I do not at al identity as African American or indigenous because I wasn’t raised in those cultures, but that is also because my culture of origin sees those as identities are negative and refuses to acknowledge them if you can pretend you only have European roots. That’s actually very sad, and if I ever did want to explore those parts of my roots, it is even sadder that I might be condemned for it.

OP's great great grandfather was black which means that she's 1/32 black and her children are 1/64 black. The one drop rule really only applies to people who can be physically identified as having African ancestry (despite curly hair, I'm guessing that's not OP's experience) and/or in slavery/segregation era, someone whose African ancestry was known even if they were white passing.

Biracial means the first generation children of one white and one black parent. For OP's children to be biracial, either OP or her husband would have to be black.

OP is a white person with distant black ancestry. That's interesting but her children are not mixed.

OK but it's not like a person counts as black only if they are 100% African heritage, is it? I mean that one black parent could have been a product of one black and one white parent and still count as black. I'm not arguing about OP's racial affiliation, I'm taking issue with your stand that a parent only counts as black if they have no white blood in them. That alone would rule out so many people who identify as African-American. And if a 50% black person could count as black, then...why can't a 2% black person? Put simply, how much white blood is one allowed to have and still identify as black?

[Anonymous]

Bunch of Rachel Dolezals up in here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The United States had the “one drop” rule, which actually does mean that her kids are biracial. It’s a little ridiculous to say that they aren’t given the clear history of how race was turned into a legal category in this country.

Whether or not they identify as mixed race is up to them. And it’s not about how they “look” necessarily. I am a very light skinned woman of brown ethnicity(both sides of my family are brown). I am the only one in my family who easily passes as white. My DNA shows that I am half indigenous, 1% African heritage, and the rest Western European. I do not at al identity as African American or indigenous because I wasn’t raised in those cultures, but that is also because my culture of origin sees those as identities are negative and refuses to acknowledge them if you can pretend you only have European roots. That’s actually very sad, and if I ever did want to explore those parts of my roots, it is even sadder that I might be condemned for it.

Um, no. Biracial means that one parent is black (or another race). I would not even consider OP multiracial. She has distance African genes that have had no effect on how she moves through the world as a white person.

She has a black grandparent, which is hardly a distant relative, and her appearance did in fact affect how she moved through the world. My kids have a grandparent who is Japanese. They can “pass” as they like to say. But they identify as mixed and I’m sure their kids will too. OP never got the option of identifying as mixed bc she didn’t know.