Do I tell my kids they are mixed?

[Anonymous]

How old are they? Is this something you just discovered?

[Anonymous]

Agree you should tell them without the drama.

I also have some black DNA but am perceived as white; I am not about to hold myself out as being AA. Don't do that.

[Anonymous]

If your great, great grandfather was black, that makes you 1/16th and your kids 1/32nd.

I am 1/16th Cherokee. I look white and I have lived my life in a cozy suburb and experienced none of the hardships that Native Americans have faced. My kids know our heritage, but they don’t identify as being Native American. I’m not saying what is right for you or your family, just sharing my own situation.

Definitely educate your children on their heritage if/when they are old enough to understand. It’s a shame that your grandmother felt she had to make that choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are they? Is this something you just discovered?

Yes, discovered about 6 months ago and have been researching to confirm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are they? Is this something you just discovered?

Yes, discovered about 6 months ago and have been researching to confirm.

Kids' ages? Of course this is something they should know about at some point. But people's answers are going to be different if your kid is three than if your kid is thirteen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm, I'd get some verification first.

A DNA genealogy test kit is like $99.

https://www.23andme.com/dna-ancestry/

My great-grandmothers census records(she died when I was about 9) seem like pretty accurate info and the fact that her father is buried in a African American cemetery in North Carolina, because he could not be buried in a “white cemetery”

Okay, but they're bound to have questions about where in the African continent they're descended from. You could make it a fun game of European and African heritage night. Then talk about your past generations struggles for acceptance, inclusion, race/racism etc.

[Anonymous]

I did a DNA test and I'm completely Northern European/Scottish/British. You can't get whiter than me. I also have really curly hair as did my father and grandfather. They were fine because short, curly hair on men is no big deal but long hair was the fashion for women and I just couldn't carry it (and there were no products in the rural midwest that were for hair like mine).

I say this because it may very well be you didn't get your curly hair from that very distant ancestor. You are not mixed race, your kids aren't mixed race. You have trace amounts of African DNA. Many people have trace amounts of Neanderthal DNA. That doesn't make them Neanderthals.

[Anonymous]

But you guys would be eligible for reparations to hang on to that report!

[Anonymous]

Tell them. They'll find out one day. This is a funny video where a woman finds out her lineage and it's quite a surprise.

Start at minute 4:40

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their great-great-great grandfather was black. Tell them that.

I wouldn’t refer to them “mixed race.”

Black biracial person here (i.e., one of my parents is black; other is a "brown" race). I agree with PP. I'd just say you have a small amount of African ancestry due to a white-passing ancestor. As far as "passing," you can just explain that societal conditions were unfair for black people at that time, so much so that some with mixed heritage decided to "pass" into white society. A lot has been written on this phenomenon.

tuh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their great-great-great grandfather was black. Tell them that.

I wouldn’t refer to them “mixed race.”

Black biracial person here (i.e., one of my parents is black; other is a "brown" race). I agree with PP. I'd just say you have a small amount of African ancestry due to a white-passing ancestor. As far as "passing," you can just explain that societal conditions were unfair for black people at that time, so much so that some with mixed heritage decided to "pass" into white society. A lot has been written on this phenomenon.

+1 I’m of mixed ancestry. We actually had a reverse passing in our family so my Irish great-grandmother could legally live with her AA/NA DH and their mixed kids.

I have DNA test results that support the family oral history of indigenous ancestry, but I don’t tell people I’m NA. My kids shouldn’t claim it because that’s an experience they have never lived.

[Anonymous]

I identify as black. My mother learned at age 30 that the father who raised her is not her biological father. Her biological father was Chinese. She met her biological father and he confirmed it was true. I love knowing that I am part Chinese. I think it is awesome. I don't identify as Chinese, of course. I don't speak any Chinese language and I have never been to China, but I just think it's cool.

If you present this heritage to your kids in a positive way, they will probably embrace it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your great, great grandfather was black, that makes you 1/16th and your kids 1/32nd.

I am 1/16th Cherokee. I look white and I have lived my life in a cozy suburb and experienced none of the hardships that Native Americans have faced. My kids know our heritage, but they don’t identify as being Native American. I’m not saying what is right for you or your family, just sharing my own situation.

Definitely educate your children on their heritage if/when they are old enough to understand. It’s a shame that your grandmother felt she had to make that choice.

If your great grandmother was able to pass as white back then, chances are that even your great great grandfather was not 100% black- so even 1/32 is probably high. No normal person would consider your kids to be mixed race and this isn’t some big thing that you should be struggling with whether or not to disclose to them, but sure go ahead and mention it as an interesting tidbit.

[Anonymous]

I would totally do a genealogy tree or something with them, take them to see how their ancestors lived, etc etc. In short i would make some memories that they Could later use in their college essays...

[Anonymous]

You aren’t mixed, and neither are your kids. You can share your ancestry. You don’t even know your great-great grandfather’s race; he might have been biracial or the son of a biracial parent.