Nanny vent
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Anonymous
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Our nanny has been with us for three years and I've been part-time WAH/SAH during that time so all of us being home at the same time is not new for us. However, the lack of structure provided by preschool and outside classes/playdates and being home almost all the time is new and she is annoying me a lot lately.
I spent the first couple weeks of sheltering at home to get a sense of what would be a good routine and proposed a schedule that nanny said was fine. Part of that schedule is a couple hours' outside time and explained to her that I NEED that time as it is the only time all day that I can be in the main living area (kitchen/living/play/laundry) to meal prep, clean, do laundry etc. without having DD all over me. Nanny never gets DD out on time. If they are 20-30 minutes late occasionally, that's fine, stuff happens, but we're talking 30-60 minutes late every.single.day. Before they go out, DD has preschool circle time for 30-45 minutes via Zoom. I told nanny she should use that time to clean up lunch and get ready to go outside, i.e., pack snack, toys etc. The several times I've walked by while DD is Zooming, nanny is on her phone/Zooming with DD/making dalgona coffee. Oh yes, the coffee. Some of you may know that it's a new craze and yesterday, I caught nanny whipping the coffee on FIVE SEPARATE OCCASIONS. Basically it wasn't doing what it was supposed to so she told me she was whipping it when she could. Problem is that she thinks "oh I have a free moment to whip coffee" and is not engaging DD so DD runs to me to hang out  
Nanny is an easy-going person, which was fine when she had structure forced on her through scheduled activities. But she doesn't respect the schedule I've put in place and will do what DD wants when it conflicts with the schedule. Say they're supposed to go outside at 2, but DD wants to play just one more game/eat a snack/rest, then they end up leaving at 3. I'm constantly exhausted by managing work/running a household/caring for two kids while sheltering in place and nanny is making a fourth puzzle with DD when she is supposed to be getting her out the door and whipping frickin dalgona coffee. |
Anonymous
| I am jealous of a job that accommodate several hours of meal prep cleaning and laundry. Is your down time during the work day flexible? Can you ask the nanny of there is a better time for her? |
Anonymous
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Have you had the conversation? Nicely
"Nanny, I know it's a challenging time for everyone but we all need to try to stick to the schedule outlined in order to make our household work. Dd needs outside time at a consistent time and I need time in the house to work on meals etc. please make sure all clean up and outside things are set up so you can be out of the house at X time every day (unless it's raining)." |
Anonymous
| How much are you paying? She sounds like more of a babysitter than a nanny. If you are paying more of a babysitter/mother’s helper rate then I would be more hesitant to look for someone else because you will be hard-pressed to find someone who is going to actually follow safe social-distancing protocols. But if your pay is competitive, then I would look for someone who is more of a self-starter. |
Anonymous
| Oh OP. You are controlling way too much. It sounds like your nanny is engaged with your DD and that's all you should care about it. Kicking them out of the house at a very specific time everyday--during a stay at home order, no less--your expectations are off. Poor nanny. |
Anonymous
| I manage to do everything you’re doing without a nanny, so I don’t see why this is such a struggle for you. |
Anonymous
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Does she live with you? Does nanny get her own break?
I’m sure this is hard for the nanny too. The structure isn’t as “real” as when they have to leave and go to a class. How much of an imposition is it to have your time pushed back? Seems what you are doing isn’t time sensitive and she might not see it as a big deal. |
Anonymous
| Maybe your daughter needs more transition time between Zoom and outdoors? Since the playgrounds are closed, do they have lots of activities to keep them busy for several hours at a time? Maybe you could break your down time up to an hour in the am and an hour in the pm? |
Anonymous
| What is there for them to do outdoors to keep them occupied for a couple of hours continuously? |
Anonymous
| Now I have to find out what dalgona coffee is. |
Anonymous
| I bet your nanny is looking for a new job. You sound incredibly difficult to work for. |
Anonymous
| Lighten up OP. |
Anonymous
Right, where are they going for several hours each day if the playgrounds are all closed? |
Anonymous
| How can she do anything -clean up etc—that adds to the background noise for a preschool zoom? |
Anonymous
| You really should chill OP. You're lucky to have help at all right now. Your "schedule" is entirely in your head. It doesn't matter right now. Habe your nanny let you know when they do make it outside, whenever that may be, and do your meal prep/laundry then. Or when your daughter tries to hang on you, encourage her to do something else. But you're inventing problems for yourself. |