Nanny vent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your overestimate the appeal to a preschooler of two hours of walking/biking/scootering the same paths with just her nanny to keep her company every day for weeks on end.

I'm not OP and we get the preschooler out for 1.5 hrs max but regularly. She's 4 so maybe older. But plenty of fun getting muddy and looking for worms, hiking trails, talking about flowers and looking for tadpoles in the creek (they are just coming out now). In the back yard there is also chalk and stomp rockets and more digging and scootering. The outside time is key to eating a big lunch after and then a 2 hr nap after all the running around.

Sidewalk chalk and stomp rockets and muddy creeks aren’t options OP has offered. Given OP’s rigidity, do you really think she’d tolerate the nanny bringing the child back covered in mud after OP just spent two hours cleaning the house? Should the nanny buy stomp rockets with her own money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your overestimate the appeal to a preschooler of two hours of walking/biking/scootering the same paths with just her nanny to keep her company every day for weeks on end.

I'm not OP and we get the preschooler out for 1.5 hrs max but regularly. She's 4 so maybe older. But plenty of fun getting muddy and looking for worms, hiking trails, talking about flowers and looking for tadpoles in the creek (they are just coming out now). In the back yard there is also chalk and stomp rockets and more digging and scootering. The outside time is key to eating a big lunch after and then a 2 hr nap after all the running around.

Sidewalk chalk and stomp rockets and muddy creeks aren’t options OP has offered. Given OP’s rigidity, do you really think she’d tolerate the nanny bringing the child back covered in mud after OP just spent two hours cleaning the house? Should the nanny buy stomp rockets with her own money?

Whatever. The OP doesn’t sound particularly rigid to me. She wants some time in the house on her own every day. If her nanny can’t do it, then she should talk about the problem and suggest solutions, not ignore her employer and make fancy coffee drinks.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, OP? Have you read the paper lately? Listened to the news?

[Anonymous]

OP, you might try asking her if she has ideas on how to make getting out of the house at about the same time work, since it has become a problem. can there be an alarm she sets on her phone that is a 30 minute reminder, or do they need to change some activities in the schedule?

Present it as a problem to solve together. Ask nicely. Agree to check back in after 2 or 3 days. Elicit her help, and involve her in assessing if it works or if she needs to try another tactic.

[Anonymous]

My preschooler needs up very close during Zoom. There is nothing else happening during preschool Zoom. I might glance at my phone, but I am 100% keeping my kid in the frame, engaged, etc.

[Anonymous]

Why does it matter *when* they go out OP? I really think you should just let this go. Like others have pointed out, your nanny can have her pick of jobs right now, with plenty of folks who arent trying to micromanage her schedule. If she wanted a more rigid job, she'd be working in a preschool or office.

[Anonymous]

OP PPs are being ridiculous. You are paying your nanny to work for you. Not to have break time when child is on zoom. Or to spend hours making a fancy coffee drink. She needs to step it up. She is just doing the slack job she did while you were working. She’s your EMPLOYEE not your best friend.

[Anonymous]

OP I don't think there's anything wrong with venting as long as you recognize your nanny isn't doing anything particularly wrong/egregious here. She's getting your kid out of the house like you asked, just not always at the time you've asked. If that's a huge problem have a quick chat with her about why you need them out by X time. Don't let it become bigger in your mind than it is.

The coffee thing is nbd. She's trying a trend, she's not great at making it yet because it's new to her; we're all doing what we can to cope with the insanity that is the world right now. Just give her a little grace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you might try asking her if she has ideas on how to make getting out of the house at about the same time work, since it has become a problem. can there be an alarm she sets on her phone that is a 30 minute reminder, or do they need to change some activities in the schedule?

Present it as a problem to solve together. Ask nicely. Agree to check back in after 2 or 3 days. Elicit her help, and involve her in assessing if it works or if she needs to try another tactic.

NP here and this is brilliant advice. I try to remember to do that as a supervisor at work and as an employer for our nanny. People appreciate solving a problem and there may be something going on you aren’t aware of. We only set up a schedule when the youngest was a newborn/transitions and when the older kid stayed home after daycare closed. Then we did a rough schedule that has since been adopted. I stay out of it now. It can be really challenging to get a preschooler out the door some days. They miss friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Responding to multiple PPs. She is a real nanny, although we are her first job as a nanny. She has been with our family for three years though so she's not a newbie to being a nanny or to our family. She's live-out. I pay her very well with benefits, nanny has been happy with our family and has turned down offers for more pay to stay with us. I'm not a difficult boss; she would have left well before now if I were. I do have high standards, but I keep my thoughts mostly to myself and come here to vent occasionally, which is how we've lasted this long

I'm asking her to take DD out for TWO hours at a time, which includes a 10 minute walk to the park. Yes, they have plenty to do there for an hour and 40 minutes, it is a huge park with lots of paths to walk/hike/scooter/bike, plus they can have a picnic and eat a snack and read book.

These are strange times and an adjustment process for all of us, including the nanny so I have been flexible. Like I said, if they are 20-30 minutes late some of the time, or even most of the time, I wouldn't care. We've been sheltering in place for over a month now and did not have nanny for part of it so I get how difficult it is to maintain a strict schedule. But I also am well aware of how the day goes awry if you DON'T attempt to maintain any routine at all.

I built in an hour of transition time between Zoom and outdoors during which she and nanny do an activity. I tried to keep the schedule pretty easy, which is why it's frustrating that nanny can't, or rather won't, stick to it. Also, I never said that I'm having such a hard time. Without the extra help, I was doing okay (nanny didn't come for a couple weeks), with the extra help, I cannot call life hard. But that doesn't mean that I have to accept however nanny does her job and that she disregards my clear wishes.

So basically, you’re just inventing problems because you don’t have any real ones.

This comment is dumb. If you were hired as an executive assistant but decided to whip coffee 5 times a day and were never on time for your scheduled events and your job included managing some other junior assistants that were also never on time proxy, you think the Executive shoul have no reason to be mad because an assistant is a luxury and makes their lives easier?

Get lost. That is not the way the world works.

Nanny has a job that she is well compensated for. Do the job the way the employer wants or quit. The OP should not have to just deal because she recognizes that she is fortunate. That’s ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

If you want to keep her, shut up and stop being a control freak!
I would have quit long ago!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to keep her, shut up and stop being a control freak!
I would have quit long ago!

I guess my husband should just quit his job as an associate because his partners are all control freaks

[Anonymous]

https://www.inverse.com/culture/dalgona-coffee

Your nanny would already have driven me around the bend with the stupid coffee. Drink a f@cking normal cup while you're working and Instagram this junk on your own time. good lord

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to keep her, shut up and stop being a control freak!
I would have quit long ago!

True spoken words of the unemployed.

[Anonymous]

OP Do you work at home usually? If not you see how your nanny is when you aren’t there. She seems more like a babysitter than a nanny.