Nanny vent

[Anonymous]

TBH, Dalgona coffee is pretty good. I would have a heart attack after five, however.

[Anonymous]

Take a breath, OP, and talk to your nanny. But be very gentle and open in your approach as everyone I know basically is looking for a nanny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take a breath, OP, and talk to your nanny. But be very gentle and open in your approach as everyone I know basically is looking for a nanny!

+1. I can take OP’s nanny of her hands if it’s too much trouble for OP.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Responding to multiple PPs. She is a real nanny, although we are her first job as a nanny. She has been with our family for three years though so she's not a newbie to being a nanny or to our family. She's live-out. I pay her very well with benefits, nanny has been happy with our family and has turned down offers for more pay to stay with us. I'm not a difficult boss; she would have left well before now if I were. I do have high standards, but I keep my thoughts mostly to myself and come here to vent occasionally, which is how we've lasted this long

I'm asking her to take DD out for TWO hours at a time, which includes a 10 minute walk to the park. Yes, they have plenty to do there for an hour and 40 minutes, it is a huge park with lots of paths to walk/hike/scooter/bike, plus they can have a picnic and eat a snack and read book.

These are strange times and an adjustment process for all of us, including the nanny so I have been flexible. Like I said, if they are 20-30 minutes late some of the time, or even most of the time, I wouldn't care. We've been sheltering in place for over a month now and did not have nanny for part of it so I get how difficult it is to maintain a strict schedule. But I also am well aware of how the day goes awry if you DON'T attempt to maintain any routine at all.

I built in an hour of transition time between Zoom and outdoors during which she and nanny do an activity. I tried to keep the schedule pretty easy, which is why it's frustrating that nanny can't, or rather won't, stick to it. Also, I never said that I'm having such a hard time. Without the extra help, I was doing okay (nanny didn't come for a couple weeks), with the extra help, I cannot call life hard. But that doesn't mean that I have to accept however nanny does her job and that she disregards my clear wishes.

[Anonymous]

I think your overestimate the appeal to a preschooler of two hours of walking/biking/scootering the same paths with just her nanny to keep her company every day for weeks on end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Responding to multiple PPs. She is a real nanny, although we are her first job as a nanny. She has been with our family for three years though so she's not a newbie to being a nanny or to our family. She's live-out. I pay her very well with benefits, nanny has been happy with our family and has turned down offers for more pay to stay with us. I'm not a difficult boss; she would have left well before now if I were. I do have high standards, but I keep my thoughts mostly to myself and come here to vent occasionally, which is how we've lasted this long

I'm asking her to take DD out for TWO hours at a time, which includes a 10 minute walk to the park. Yes, they have plenty to do there for an hour and 40 minutes, it is a huge park with lots of paths to walk/hike/scooter/bike, plus they can have a picnic and eat a snack and read book.

These are strange times and an adjustment process for all of us, including the nanny so I have been flexible. Like I said, if they are 20-30 minutes late some of the time, or even most of the time, I wouldn't care. We've been sheltering in place for over a month now and did not have nanny for part of it so I get how difficult it is to maintain a strict schedule. But I also am well aware of how the day goes awry if you DON'T attempt to maintain any routine at all.

I built in an hour of transition time between Zoom and outdoors during which she and nanny do an activity. I tried to keep the schedule pretty easy, which is why it's frustrating that nanny can't, or rather won't, stick to it. Also, I never said that I'm having such a hard time. Without the extra help, I was doing okay (nanny didn't come for a couple weeks), with the extra help, I cannot call life hard. But that doesn't mean that I have to accept however nanny does her job and that she disregards my clear wishes.

So basically, you’re just inventing problems because you don’t have any real ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your overestimate the appeal to a preschooler of two hours of walking/biking/scootering the same paths with just her nanny to keep her company every day for weeks on end.

Defintely and it has been cold some days...is there not an area of the house the story and snack could occur that would be out of your way? A 'picnic" is her bedroom could be a fun change of pace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am jealous of a job that accommodate several hours of meal prep cleaning and laundry. Is your down time during the work day flexible? Can you ask the nanny of there is a better time for her?

I am going to guess that OP’s husband is very demanding. She is home all day, working PT, with a nanny. He likely expects to return home to a spotless house, laundry done, happy children, and a nice dinner on the table. And OP is left to figure out how to make that happen by 5:30 pm or whatever every single day. That’s why there is no room for error in her schedule, and she needs to spend a couple of hours cooking/cleaning every day.

[Anonymous]

How old is your other child, OP?

Are you hoping that your nanny will take your three year old out during a younger child’s nap time? If that’s the case, and they are taking an hour to get out the door, I can see how that would be annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your overestimate the appeal to a preschooler of two hours of walking/biking/scootering the same paths with just her nanny to keep her company every day for weeks on end.

\

Agree. Try it yourself for several hours on Saturday and Sunday and report back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your overestimate the appeal to a preschooler of two hours of walking/biking/scootering the same paths with just her nanny to keep her company every day for weeks on end.

I'm not OP and we get the preschooler out for 1.5 hrs max but regularly. She's 4 so maybe older. But plenty of fun getting muddy and looking for worms, hiking trails, talking about flowers and looking for tadpoles in the creek (they are just coming out now). In the back yard there is also chalk and stomp rockets and more digging and scootering. The outside time is key to eating a big lunch after and then a 2 hr nap after all the running around.

[Anonymous]

Think you are way too uptight.

[Anonymous]

OP she is your nanny and she needs to be more responsive to your schedule. I would be no way on the dalgona coffee if that’s what’s making her late.
It’s reasonable to take your child out of your house/ face for a few hours each day. It’s spring. Zoom is screen time and I would be limiting that. Your nanny sounds like give an inch take a mile.
Just imagine if you acted like that at YOUR job! I’m BUSY whipping up some COFFEE boss! I’ll get back to ya later!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now I have to find out what dalgona coffee is.

Me too!

[Anonymous]

Two hours of outside time during a pandemic when there are no kids to play with is ridiculous.