How many of you schedule sex with your spouse?

[Anonymous]

So my wife and I just pulled out our phones and debated time slots until we agreed on a time. It seems the opposite of sexy but if you read much on DCUM you’ll be glad that you’re having sex at all.

[Anonymous]

Not so explicitly. But I do note how long it's been and don't let it go over a week. But all it takes is me initiating, so I guess the answer is no. But it helps me get in the mood, honestly, knowing we are going to be having sex; I can start thinking about it and that will turn me on, rather than being surprised by his desire when I'm tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not so explicitly. But I do note how long it's been and don't let it go over a week. But all it takes is me initiating, so I guess the answer is no. But it helps me get in the mood, honestly, knowing we are going to be having sex; I can start thinking about it and that will turn me on, rather than being surprised by his desire when I'm tired.

Me too. I have a baby who hates sleep, breastfeeding hormones that are bad for sex, and my workday starts at 7 AM. Spontaneous sex is not a thing right now. It helps me to anticipate it.

[Anonymous]

We have gone through phases when it's not needed and gone through phases when we do.

It helps ensure that a dry spell never turns into a DRY spell. I think if we go like two weeks or something both of us are like, we need to get on this and make sure it happens and then schedule it for a few weeks. But we usually don't say, 'Saturday at 9pm' so much as in the morning say, 'we need to have sex today' so we know to mentally prepare for it that day.

If it makes you feel better right now we're not scheduling at all and have a great sex life. It really is something that ebbs and flows.

[Anonymous]

Dont have a DW however do schedule it with my FWB all the time due to our other responsibilities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not so explicitly. But I do note how long it's been and don't let it go over a week. But all it takes is me initiating, so I guess the answer is no. But it helps me get in the mood, honestly, knowing we are going to be having sex; I can start thinking about it and that will turn me on, rather than being surprised by his desire when I'm tired.

Thanks for this reply. Original poster here -I hadn’t really considered that scheduling might mentally help her get in the right mindset.

[Anonymous]

We often schedule it. It’s always worth it.
Scheduled sex is a whole lot sexier than no sex.

We all schedule date nights. Getaways. What’s the difference.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I get cranky if I don’t get enough sleep, so every morning, we look at our schedules, and decide if we are going to “take a nap”, or if we will “go to bed early”.

[Anonymous]

Never. We just go for it when the mood strikes, and we both happily oblige.

[Anonymous]

Wife here. No. I just make sure we do it 2x a week.

[Anonymous]

Scheduled sex seems like you’re one step away from giving up on your marriage. Red flag that you have to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Scheduled sex seems like you’re one step away from giving up on your marriage. Red flag that you have to do it.

Maybe to you. Three young kids, demanding careers...by scheduling it we are telling each other that our sexual relationship is a priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Scheduled sex seems like you’re one step away from giving up on your marriage. Red flag that you have to do it.

Posters like you are why people end up in sexless marriages. This is totally a reasonable and good technique to keep sex life alive during natural and life imposed dry spells. Which helps reduce long term resentment and keep both parties romantically interested in each other.

One step away from giving up on your marriage is saying you don't care enough about fixing your sex life to even try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife here. No. I just make sure we do it 2x a week.

That’s great! Do you do it for you or your dh?

[Anonymous]

Saturday nights.

But i get oops my period is on.