How many of you schedule sex with your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Between my girlfriend, I pencil in my wife every other night.

[Anonymous]

once per year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Between my girlfriend, I pencil in my wife every other night.

How considerate.

[Anonymous]

We don't schedule with calendars, but for my DW, she has to be showered and not have pooped in order to consider sex. And of course, not to mention - not be stressed, feeling ok about herself, etc. Lord help me if we argue. Basically, stars need to align for us to be green lit. We are early 40s

[Anonymous]

Late 40s, and we actually have a schedule. We each work from home full time but different hours. I am up at 6:30 and working by 7:30am. DH doesn't get up until around 10:00. We never go to bed at the same time. So every night after the last dog walk around 9:30pm we have some kind of intimate connection. We have sex about 4x a week, the other nights we just lay around for a few minutes together, cuddle, grope etc. It works for us.

[Anonymous]

We do because we are both shift workers and don't go to bed ( sleep) at the same time.
Fridays during the day while kids at school was our go to time, this has become a 0 though since school was closed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
So my wife and I just pulled out our phones and debated time slots until we agreed on a time. It seems the opposite of sexy but if you read much on DCUM you’ll be glad that you’re having sex at all.

So, this is the beginning of the end of a marriage.

BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Scheduled sex seems like you’re one step away from giving up on your marriage. Red flag that you have to do it.

Posters like you are why people end up in sexless marriages. This is totally a reasonable and good technique to keep sex life alive during natural and life imposed dry spells. Which helps reduce long term resentment and keep both parties romantically interested in each other.

One step away from giving up on your marriage is saying you don't care enough about fixing your sex life to even try.

what? I'm not in a sexless marriage. And we have 3 young kids and 2 careers too! We have sex at least 2x a week. No need to schedule and take all the fun and spontaneity out of it. You just need to prioritize your relationship.

Scheduling sex just seems like...something akin to scheduling a workout at the gym. NOT SEXY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here. No. I just make sure we do it 2x a week.

That’s great! Do you do it for you or your dh?

Both. Our relationship works better with it (everything is easier and he is more lovey dovey) but I like it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Scheduled sex seems like you’re one step away from giving up on your marriage. Red flag that you have to do it.

Maybe to you. Three young kids, demanding careers...by scheduling it we are telling each other that our sexual relationship is a priority.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here. No. I just make sure we do it 2x a week.

That’s great! Do you do it for you or your dh?

Both. Our relationship works better with it (everything is easier and he is more lovey dovey) but I like it too.

+1. It definitely helps with the connection and it can be fun too. We have an Airbnb adjacent to our house and all of our guests have cancelled because of covid. We’ve got a sex date scheduled over there in a few minutes. It’s almost been like having raunchy vacation sex. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Scheduled sex seems like you’re one step away from giving up on your marriage. Red flag that you have to do it.

Posters like you are why people end up in sexless marriages. This is totally a reasonable and good technique to keep sex life alive during natural and life imposed dry spells. Which helps reduce long term resentment and keep both parties romantically interested in each other.

One step away from giving up on your marriage is saying you don't care enough about fixing your sex life to even try.

what? I'm not in a sexless marriage. And we have 3 young kids and 2 careers too! We have sex at least 2x a week. No need to schedule and take all the fun and spontaneity out of it. You just need to prioritize your relationship.

Scheduling sex just seems like...something akin to scheduling a workout at the gym. NOT SEXY.

Unsurprisingly you misread my post and created a meaning based primarily on yourself instead of who it was referring to, which is other people. Which is consistent with what I was criticizing you for in the first place.

People like YOU who can't envision needing to do this spreading messages like THIS, that scheduling is a universal symbol for a bad problem in the relationship make other people who are not you think that scheduling is a non starter. And so a person who might start scheduling and eventually get their sex life rocking and rolling again will not even try this and forego even the chance at fixing the situation. You are spouting a wrong and damaging message that will hurt other people. I assumed you had never had to do this because if you had you wouldn't have this attitude.

Different strokes for different folks pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Scheduled sex seems like you’re one step away from giving up on your marriage. Red flag that you have to do it.

Posters like you are why people end up in sexless marriages. This is totally a reasonable and good technique to keep sex life alive during natural and life imposed dry spells. Which helps reduce long term resentment and keep both parties romantically interested in each other.

One step away from giving up on your marriage is saying you don't care enough about fixing your sex life to even try.

what? I'm not in a sexless marriage. And we have 3 young kids and 2 careers too! We have sex at least 2x a week. No need to schedule and take all the fun and spontaneity out of it. You just need to prioritize your relationship.

Scheduling sex just seems like...something akin to scheduling a workout at the gym. NOT SEXY.

Unsurprisingly you misread my post and created a meaning based primarily on yourself instead of who it was referring to, which is other people. Which is consistent with what I was criticizing you for in the first place.

People like YOU who can't envision needing to do this spreading messages like THIS, that scheduling is a universal symbol for a bad problem in the relationship make other people who are not you think that scheduling is a non starter. And so a person who might start scheduling and eventually get their sex life rocking and rolling again will not even try this and forego even the chance at fixing the situation. You are spouting a wrong and damaging message that will hurt other people. I assumed you had never had to do this because if you had you wouldn't have this attitude.

Different strokes for different folks pp.

+1

[Anonymous]

Sometimes. There are some things where we like some extra preparation or have a slight diet change a day in advance. That's maybe once a week, every 10 days. Otherwise it's more of a normal bedtime routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Scheduled sex seems like you’re one step away from giving up on your marriage. Red flag that you have to do it.

Maybe to you. Three young kids, demanding careers...by scheduling it we are telling each other that our sexual relationship is a priority.

+1 I agree with this. You know, we schedule a lot of things, why not sex. And, when you get down to it, when you were dating you were scheduling sex.