How many of you schedule sex with your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Scheduled sex seems like you’re one step away from giving up on your marriage. Red flag that you have to do it.

What? This is a crazy response. It’s actually a good thing that each is thinking of each others’ needs. It’s a good thing and happens when spouses care for each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Wednesday night we make sweet, weekly love"

it's business time! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhN93rFZuJs

LOL

So good.

Timeless.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get the negativity about scheduled sex. We have been together 12 years, great sex life (daily) for the first 10, and then baby #3 threw us off our rhythm. We though our sex life would just go back to normal, but a year after DC #3 was born we were going 5-10 days between sex, which neither of us liked. So I told my DH, here’s the weekly schedule (4x per week), and it’s been great!

In short, scheduled sex is not duty sex. Some of us love our spouses and love sex with our spouses but need to be explicit about making that a priority.

[Anonymous]

I have seen both sides of this

We scheduled it for a few years. Seemed like a good compromise, she knew when it was coming and could pick a good time. I knew it as well as could look forward to it and not initiate and get rejected in between. Problem was we started getting to the once a week and she wasn't into it. At all. So we skipped weeks then months and now we are sexless. And separating.

So I say this:. If you are both enthusiastic and schedule to make sure it happens, then it's great to schedule. If you are doing it to check a box, or to placate your higher drive spouse, you are heading towards inevitable cheating or divorce

[Anonymous]

I don’t think married people in other countries schedule sex. It’s so uniquely American to treat a marriage like business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think married people in other countries schedule sex. It’s so uniquely American to treat a marriage like business.

Some couples schedule sex because only one spouse wants it and the other participates to keep the peace.

But you haven't read this thread if you think two busy people who love each other are scheduling sex for any reasons besides loving each other and wanting to have sex with each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have seen both sides of this

We scheduled it for a few years. Seemed like a good compromise, she knew when it was coming and could pick a good time. I knew it as well as could look forward to it and not initiate and get rejected in between. Problem was we started getting to the once a week and she wasn't into it. At all. So we skipped weeks then months and now we are sexless. And separating.

So I say this:. If you are both enthusiastic and schedule to make sure it happens, then it's great to schedule. If you are doing it to check a box, or to placate your higher drive spouse, you are heading towards inevitable cheating or divorce

You simply did it wrong! If you don’t actually stick to the schedule, then it’s not really “scheduled sex” at all.

Also: of course the main purpose is to placate the higher drive spouse. That’s a feature, not a bug. You have it totally backwards: if you DON’T schedule sex, you are heading towards inevitable cheating or divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think married people in other countries schedule sex. It’s so uniquely American to treat a marriage like business.

Because in places like Europe there work day actually ends. When they go on vacation they don’t check their email/vm. They have lives. They go to the market, a real market. It isn’t a Buy & Large society.

[Anonymous]

It's stressful to schedule it. Like a chore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's stressful to schedule it. Like a chore.

Yes. Scheduling it is a somewhat depressing act.

But having it is one million times better than not having it.

[Anonymous]

I'm scheduling for next year. The vag is closed due to Coronavirus until further notice from the CDC.

[Anonymous]

This morning I asked my husband if he’d like to have a date tonight. His response was do we have to wait? We’ll wait! Being in lockdown is getting tedious with the exception that our frequency has increased and things have definitely been more energetic.

[Anonymous]

What happens when you schedule it, but then aren’t feeling it? You do it anyways? Seems like a gray area of forcing your spouse, or disappointment when it doesn’t come to fruition.

For a spouse that doesn’t want to have sex, a schedule won’t change the lack of desire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happens when you schedule it, but then aren’t feeling it? You do it anyways? Seems like a gray area of forcing your spouse, or disappointment when it doesn’t come to fruition.

For a spouse that doesn’t want to have sex, a schedule won’t change the lack of desire.

We usually still do it. We know how to get each other in the mood and we're always glad we still did it.

[Anonymous]

BC (before Corona) we would WAH on the same day while kids were in school. It happened then.

Now, we're doing it a lot more and adding some new activities to the mix.

In the fall, we'll go back to the WAH thing and maybe add a weekend.