How to tell someone their spouse is cheating

[Anonymous]

My best friend (single) was in a relationship with someone who is married. She ended it when she realized finally that his promises to leave his wife were empty. He would tell her I am leaving on x date, then delay, etc. Now in hindsight she doesn't believe that it was his first affair, and she's been approached by another woman he had affair with after her. They compared stories and he said the same stuff to both. Friend blocked him on social media and phone, and she ignores his attempts, but he has tried consistently to contact her to rekindle things in the 2 years since she broke up with him.

Friend had decided telling the wife would do more harm than good, but she's changed her mind. Others are advising her that they'd want to do if their SO was doing this, and she really wants to prevent other women from being taken in by this guy. He's probably been doing this for a long time with many.

Now she's deciding on the how. She saved all of his texts and I'm wondering is she should share any with the wife. It would be painful, but then she'd have evidence and he can't simply deny. This man was sending her photos of his kids (including a very SN child) referring to them as my friend's future stepkids, etc.

It's horrible but I think I'd want to know if DH was doing this. So I'm thinking she should probably print some of these texts, write the woman a letter, and hand-deliver it to her, then walk away (not talk it over). They don't know each other but friend knows where she lives and enough of her routine, she could easily find her.

[Anonymous]

I would want someone to tell me.

Yes send her the texts. Then the wife can get tested and decide if she wants to stay in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Print and send. Problem solved.

What is your question?

[Anonymous]

So she could not ruin their marriage through an affair is an now trying to do so after the affair failed? What a wonderful person. A real catch.

[Anonymous]

Are children involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she could not ruin their marriage through an affair is an now trying to do so after the affair failed? What a wonderful person. A real catch.

+1

So lovely of her to care so much about the wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are children involved?

Obviously. Read the op: “ This man was sending her photos of his kids (including a very SN child) referring to them as my friend's future stepkids, etc. ” not op btw, so don’t direct your snark at her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she could not ruin their marriage through an affair is an now trying to do so after the affair failed? What a wonderful person. A real catch.

+1

So lovely of her to care so much about the wife.

Either way its best for the wife.

Then I would dump that friend, she's a pos.

[Anonymous]

This is not your role, OP, to seek justice or revenge. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she could not ruin their marriage through an affair is an now trying to do so after the affair failed? What a wonderful person. A real catch.

+1

So lovely of her to care so much about the wife.

Uh no. He ruined the marriage. OP’s friend has zero marriage vows with the cheaters wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she could not ruin their marriage through an affair is an now trying to do so after the affair failed? What a wonderful person. A real catch.

+1

So lovely of her to care so much about the wife.

Uh no. He ruined the marriage. OP’s friend has zero marriage vows with the cheaters wife.

So why does she care about her now? Oh right she doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous email.

Send screen shots.

Don’t do it for revenge. If your doing it for revenge don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't she tell the wife when she started hooking up with the husband? If it's so important the wife knows, when the affair started would have been a good time to do the right thing and tell the wife her husband is a cheater. Unless she's just angry that he used her for a good time and this care for the wife is a ruse?

[Anonymous]

I’d want to know and some evidence would be better. I wouldn’t care the reason why she wanted to send this info as long as it’s true. That email with pictures of kids, including special needs child, is a good proof!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't she tell the wife when she started hooking up with the husband? If it's so important the wife knows, when the affair started would have been a good time to do the right thing and tell the wife her husband is a cheater. Unless she's just angry that he used her for a good time and this care for the wife is a ruse?

Of course she’s bitter at the husband. Why else would she do it now? Selfish like she has been the whole time.