How to tell someone their spouse is cheating

[Anonymous]

Let her know anonymously. It’s important.

[Anonymous]

No good can come of it. You say they have a child with profound special needs. What if the wife didn’t know and then feels compelled to react. You think this jerk would take on the responsibility for a SN kid? No, it’s going to be the mom. So the wife may find herself with less money, less help, and more responsibilities while serial cheater husband plays the field even more.

Let it be.

[Anonymous]

Oh please, OP, the wife already knows and she's staying with him because the child is SN and she needs the money/resources that husband provides to take care of him/her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her know anonymously. It’s important.

No, it's not. Did you all miss the part where they have a "very SN" child? There's a REASON the wife and husband are still together. He may be a dirtbag but he's supporting this child.

[Anonymous]

This is so weird. She only wants to tell the wife because he didn't *gasp* leave his wife like he said he would. Your friend is a nutjob.

[Anonymous]

It's been 2 years and all of a sudden NOW she feels compelled to tell the wife? smh... I don't agree with finding the wife and handing her a letter. This poor woman doesn't need to come face to face with the woman who slept with her husband. If your friend knows the wife's routine then I suggest she leave the screen shots and letter on the woman's car windshield if she must. Don't hand her a letter and walk off.

[Anonymous]

I would tell just because he wouldn't leave me alone. Two years ago and he's still trying to connect? Send it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her know anonymously. It’s important.

No, it's not. Did you all miss the part where they have a "very SN" child? There's a REASON the wife and husband are still together. He may be a dirtbag but he's supporting this child.

And he can continue to support his child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her know anonymously. It’s important.

No, it's not. Did you all miss the part where they have a "very SN" child? There's a REASON the wife and husband are still together. He may be a dirtbag but he's supporting this child.

And he can continue to support his child.

This douchebag can leave and then she’s not prepared for anything. At least if you know and decide to stay, you can start to think and plan.

You should definitely tell her anonymously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh please, OP, the wife already knows and she's staying with him because the child is SN and she needs the money/resources that husband provides to take care of him/her.

She may not know. People tend to want to believe their spouse, and they will continue to believe until faced with undeniable evidence.
I have been in a situation where a co-worker was obviously cheating on his wife. He would bring other women to parties and work functions. We all assumed that she knew. When she actually did find out, she left immediately (well, not before calling several people and asking why they kept her in the dark for so long).

I think most people want to know. And I actually think the best way to find out would be through someone that you are never going to see again, and who wasn’t going to judge whatever action you took next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not your role, OP, to seek justice or revenge. Move on.

OP is the mistress, obviously.

I think the best route would get a job, do volunteer work, exercise, and wash your hand often. Forget this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No good can come of it. You say they have a child with profound special needs. What if the wife didn’t know and then feels compelled to react. You think this jerk would take on the responsibility for a SN kid? No, it’s going to be the mom. So the wife may find herself with less money, less help, and more responsibilities while serial cheater husband plays the field even more.

Let it be.

The wife needs to know. If she chooses to stay with him knowing who and what he is, so be it. She can make an informed decision. Without knowing, she is being exposed to STDs and God knows what else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her know anonymously. It’s important.

No, it's not. Did you all miss the part where they have a "very SN" child? There's a REASON the wife and husband are still together. He may be a dirtbag but he's supporting this child.

There's a reason he is, no doubt. He has his cake and gets to eat it too......you have no idea if the wife knows or not. She deserves to know so she can make a decision about what she wants to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not your role, OP, to seek justice or revenge. Move on.

OP is the mistress, obviously.

I think the best route would get a job, do volunteer work, exercise, and wash your hand often. Forget this guy.

+1 focus on the handwashing. It keeps us ALL safe. Don't do anything anonymously, that is cowardly. Tell it or don't tell it but don't be a wimp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not your role, OP, to seek justice or revenge. Move on.

OP is the mistress, obviously.

I think the best route would get a job, do volunteer work, exercise, and wash your hand often. Forget this guy.

I think so too. OP - are you the "friend"?