How to tell someone their spouse is cheating

[Anonymous]

Tell the wife, sure. But, make sure your friend isn't delusional by thinking in telling his wife, HE will stop cheating. There's a good chance nothing in his life will change, even if his wife finds out. For all your friend knows, his wife already knows he's cheating. Your friend needs to fix herself, and stay away from married men.

[Anonymous]

tell the wife. I would want to know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell just because he wouldn't leave me alone. Two years ago and he's still trying to connect? Send it.

Yes do it anon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so weird. She only wants to tell the wife because he didn't *gasp* leave his wife like he said he would. Your friend is a nutjob.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No good can come of it. You say they have a child with profound special needs. What if the wife didn’t know and then feels compelled to react. You think this jerk would take on the responsibility for a SN kid? No, it’s going to be the mom. So the wife may find herself with less money, less help, and more responsibilities while serial cheater husband plays the field even more.

Let it be.

+1. The wife probably knows already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No good can come of it. You say they have a child with profound special needs. What if the wife didn’t know and then feels compelled to react. You think this jerk would take on the responsibility for a SN kid? No, it’s going to be the mom. So the wife may find herself with less money, less help, and more responsibilities while serial cheater husband plays the field even more.

Let it be.

+1. The wife probably knows already.

In that case it’s not a big deal to tell. If she doesn’t know, it will be good for her to know so that she can make an informed decision.
Obviously, friend should do it anonymously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So now your friend the cheater is upset because she found out the married guy had another affair and may have been cheating on her at the same time? And because of that she wants to tell the wife that her husband is a dirt bag? Tell your friend to drop it and to stop sleeping with married men. The odds are pretty good the wife already knows. Sending along the texts etc. could have real blowback on your friend such as husbands revenge.

+1 Your 'friend' is vengeful because she thought because the scumbag kept contacting her that she really meant something to him. Now that she knows he's a serial cheater, she's vengeful. If she didn't enjoy the attention he was giving her, she would have told him the next time he contacts her she would, in turn, be contacting his wife with details of their affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So now your friend the cheater is upset because she found out the married guy had another affair and may have been cheating on her at the same time? And because of that she wants to tell the wife that her husband is a dirt bag? Tell your friend to drop it and to stop sleeping with married men. The odds are pretty good the wife already knows. Sending along the texts etc. could have real blowback on your friend such as husbands revenge.

+1 Your 'friend' is vengeful because she thought because the scumbag kept contacting her that she really meant something to him. Now that she knows he's a serial cheater, she's vengeful. If she didn't enjoy the attention he was giving her, she would have told him the next time he contacts her she would, in turn, be contacting his wife with details of their affairs.

Why care about the friend's motives? Just worry about the wife knowing so that she can make the best decision. What difference dies the motive make to anything since facts don't change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell just because he wouldn't leave me alone. Two years ago and he's still trying to connect? Send it.

+1

[Anonymous]

I almost wonder if this is the husband of an acquaintance of mine. He had too many drinks and hit on me at his own kid’s birthday party, and they also have a child with special needs. He travels for work a lot. I don’t know if he’s actually having affairs, but I’m 1000% sure his wife has no idea and would probably appreciate the heads up.

[Anonymous]

do not tell the wife its not your business or place to do that. she may know or she may not - that's irrelevant, its not for you to say it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, she needs to tell the wife somehow, if only so that she gets tested for STDs.


No judgement on my part. Just get it done ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Revenge is always the best policy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh please, OP, the wife already knows and she's staying with him because the child is SN and she needs the money/resources that husband provides to take care of him/her.

What if the wife is the primary bread winner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So now your friend the cheater is upset because she found out the married guy had another affair and may have been cheating on her at the same time? And because of that she wants to tell the wife that her husband is a dirt bag? Tell your friend to drop it and to stop sleeping with married men. The odds are pretty good the wife already knows. Sending along the texts etc. could have real blowback on your friend such as husbands revenge.

+1 Your 'friend' is vengeful because she thought because the scumbag kept contacting her that she really meant something to him. Now that she knows he's a serial cheater, she's vengeful. If she didn't enjoy the attention he was giving her, she would have told him the next time he contacts her she would, in turn, be contacting his wife with details of their affairs.

Why care about the friend's motives? Just worry about the wife knowing so that she can make the best decision. What difference dies the motive make to anything since facts don't change?

You are correct that the facts don't change. The 'friend' will come out looking worse in this and should expect fallout. Is she willing to accept that? The 'friend' didn't care about the wife 2 years ago when she was boinking that woman's husband and waiting for him to drop divorce on his wife. Changing her mind after learning she was just another f*ck to this guy makes the 'friend' look even more unstable and morally bankrupt. But, go right ahead.