Assumption of dating pool for divorced 40s women with kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My good friend is mid-40s divorced with a tween and 6 year old and is getting married in a few months to a 50 year old never married childless professional man who is good looking, extremely fit and 6’2. Another friend is early 50s with 3 kids (youngest is 9) and is very serious with a handsome divorced 52 year law partner whose two kids from his previous marriage our in high school and college. Another divorced in early 40s with two elementary school kids got married last summer to a good looking C-Suite executive of a large public Company who was divorced with 3 kids.

What happened to the DCUM line that Women Don't Want To Remarry Especially Not To Old Men With Saggy Balls Who Just Want a Caretaker?

50 isn’t old men. Old men is the 60 year olds that DCUM swore were only option for divorced women in their 40s with their kids.

white

Nah, you don't have to look hard on DCUM to find women in their 40s saying "ewww gross" to the idea of a man in his 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cool. I'm 51 with several divorced friends who have met and got engaged to 50-60 y.o. divorced men they met via dating apps.

None of these men are the least bit appealing to me — distracting OCD tendencies, troubled and dramatic teens, saggy man bits-meets-financial problems, etc.

However, all of the guys *seem* decent on paper. Like if I were to describe them to you differently, it would sound like I'm making OP's point for her. (in-shape, successful architect! funny, charming professor!)

But they'd still be OCD saggy b@ll$ in the poorhouse underneath.

So what do you bring to the table?

Kids, debt, XH drama, the usual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The balls are not materially different in the 50s. Even 60s.

PP here. I beg to differ. Both as a woman who dates and sees them on occasion and as a healthcare provider who sees them weekly.

Can anyone provide scientific support that the "sagging" noted above actually happens? For example, a link to an article in a medical journal would be considered support. However, anecdotal information (e.g., I am a healthcare provider, and I see ____ of them and can tell you this is true) is meaningless.

The idea that this is true for all (or most) men is similar to the notion that women who have a large number of sexual partners lose elasticity and cannot have sex.

People repeat these ideas as fact without understanding if they are true at all.

It is true that skin loses elasticity and collagen with age. So yes balls will sag with age. https://www.menshealth.com/health/a28379523/saggy-balls/

I don't think women who have large numbers of sexual partners will be loose, the vagina bounces back even after childbirth. However the vagina can get looser after childbirth as the pelvic floor muscles are stretched and sometimes will not go back to their original size which is why doctors say to do pelvic floor exercises. Even age and menopause can make a difference so that's why pelvic floor muscles are encouraged throughout life. However females are not immune to a decrease in elasticity and collagen and our boobs sag so there's that.

We all sag together in old age. It's the joy of ageing.

The article supports the PP who said "The balls are not materially different in the 50s. Even 60s"

From the article: "most guys begin to notice a difference in their 60s or 70s."

I'm 55, not seeing it yet.

[Anonymous]

I am in my early 50s, recently divorced, and have children (mid teens to early 20s). Intelligent, financially independent, fit (BMI 18.5), a good figure, reasonably attractive, if not quite beautiful.

I have not attempted to date (and have, in fact, not been with a man other than my ex H since my early 20s) during the three year separation and divorce because my children (and me myself) are/have been my primary focus. I have no idea where to begin, or how I will fare during a decade of life when so many women seem to become invisible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The balls are not materially different in the 50s. Even 60s.

PP here. I beg to differ. Both as a woman who dates and sees them on occasion and as a healthcare provider who sees them weekly.

Can anyone provide scientific support that the "sagging" noted above actually happens? For example, a link to an article in a medical journal would be considered support. However, anecdotal information (e.g., I am a healthcare provider, and I see ____ of them and can tell you this is true) is meaningless.

The idea that this is true for all (or most) men is similar to the notion that women who have a large number of sexual partners lose elasticity and cannot have sex.

People repeat these ideas as fact without understanding if they are true at all.

It is true that skin loses elasticity and collagen with age. So yes balls will sag with age. https://www.menshealth.com/health/a28379523/saggy-balls/

I don't think women who have large numbers of sexual partners will be loose, the vagina bounces back even after childbirth. However the vagina can get looser after childbirth as the pelvic floor muscles are stretched and sometimes will not go back to their original size which is why doctors say to do pelvic floor exercises. Even age and menopause can make a difference so that's why pelvic floor muscles are encouraged throughout life. However females are not immune to a decrease in elasticity and collagen and our boobs sag so there's that.

We all sag together in old age. It's the joy of ageing.

The article supports the PP who said "The balls are not materially different in the 50s. Even 60s"

From the article: "most guys begin to notice a difference in their 60s or 70s."

I'm 55, not seeing it yet.

I never mentioned age. I think so many of the comments on here are just to put either women or men down. Really a lot of older men get enlarged prostates so there's that too. It would just be nice if everyone accepts that people age and it will eventually show in our bodies. But thinking that happens to a women in her 40's and likewise a man in his 50's is silly. Although at this age man or woman our skin certainly isn't as nice.

In saying that older people get into new relationships all the time. The only females I notice to struggle are the ones that aren't stable emotionally. Anyone trying to scare women into thinking their use by date is 24 yrs old is just juvenile and short sighted.

[Anonymous]

2.02: sorry forgot to add our skin isn't as nice as in our 20's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My good friend is mid-40s divorced with a tween and 6 year old and is getting married in a few months to a 50 year old never married childless professional man who is good looking, extremely fit and 6’2. Another friend is early 50s with 3 kids (youngest is 9) and is very serious with a handsome divorced 52 year law partner whose two kids from his previous marriage our in high school and college. Another divorced in early 40s with two elementary school kids got married last summer to a good looking C-Suite executive of a large public Company who was divorced with 3 kids.

What happened to the DCUM line that Women Don't Want To Remarry Especially Not To Old Men With Saggy Balls Who Just Want a Caretaker?

50 isn’t old men. Old men is the 60 year olds that DCUM swore were only option for divorced women in their 40s with their kids.

white

Nah, you don't have to look hard on DCUM to find women in their 40s saying "ewww gross" to the idea of a man in his 50s.

Most people don’t find a 5 year age difference problematic.... You’re really reaching...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My good friend is mid-40s divorced with a tween and 6 year old and is getting married in a few months to a 50 year old never married childless professional man who is good looking, extremely fit and 6’2. Another friend is early 50s with 3 kids (youngest is 9) and is very serious with a handsome divorced 52 year law partner whose two kids from his previous marriage our in high school and college. Another divorced in early 40s with two elementary school kids got married last summer to a good looking C-Suite executive of a large public Company who was divorced with 3 kids.

What happened to the DCUM line that Women Don't Want To Remarry Especially Not To Old Men With Saggy Balls Who Just Want a Caretaker?

50 isn’t old men. Old men is the 60 year olds that DCUM swore were only option for divorced women in their 40s with their kids.

white

Nah, you don't have to look hard on DCUM to find women in their 40s saying "ewww gross" to the idea of a man in his 50s.

What does “white” mean?

[Anonymous]

I'm a 40-something yo woman with kids, married still (but it's rocky) and I KNOW that if I get divorced, I have NO intention of dating, WHY BOTHER?

The LAST thing I need in my life EVER is another middle-aged, whiny, mental, stagnant man. I have all the kids I want so I don't want a baby daddy (and my uterus agrees so that's that). I have my own career, interests, and family.

I don't understand why any woman would even bother.

[Anonymous]

It is true that skin loses elasticity and collagen with age. So yes balls will sag with age. https://www.menshealth.com/health/a28379523/saggy-balls/

I don't think women who have large numbers of sexual partners will be loose, the vagina bounces back even after childbirth.

The link is to an article in Men's Health, not a peer-medical journal, and the article does not provide any valid support that "sagging" is a natural result of aging. Instead, the article quotes a doctor who's last words on the matter is a discussion of a medical procedure (that he provides) that "cures" the sagging (i.e., scrotoplasty.)

Please tell me how having a person selling a product (i.e., the scrotoplasty) passes for medical evidence. Show an article from the New England Journal of Medicine (for example) about this subject and I am a believer. I would like to know much elasticity the skin in this area loses over what period of time for the average man, based on a controlled study.

You can use the "evidence" that many doctors offer vaginoplasty means that women become loose from having a large number of partners.

People say things like "old men have saggy balls" because they want to hurt others. Let's not pretend there is any validity to such a statement until we see some type of evidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My good friend is mid-40s divorced with a tween and 6 year old and is getting married in a few months to a 50 year old never married childless professional man who is good looking, extremely fit and 6’2. Another friend is early 50s with 3 kids (youngest is 9) and is very serious with a handsome divorced 52 year law partner whose two kids from his previous marriage our in high school and college. Another divorced in early 40s with two elementary school kids got married last summer to a good looking C-Suite executive of a large public Company who was divorced with 3 kids.

What happened to the DCUM line that Women Don't Want To Remarry Especially Not To Old Men With Saggy Balls Who Just Want a Caretaker?

50 isn’t old men. Old men is the 60 year olds that DCUM swore were only option for divorced women in their 40s with their kids.

white

Nah, you don't have to look hard on DCUM to find women in their 40s saying "ewww gross" to the idea of a man in his 50s.

Most people don’t find a 5 year age difference problematic.... You’re really reaching...

Many, many OLD profiles of women in their 40s list say that their age preference is "40-49" so yes they do find it "problematic".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I'm a 40-something yo woman with kids, married still (but it's rocky) and I KNOW that if I get divorced, I have NO intention of dating, WHY BOTHER?

The LAST thing I need in my life EVER is another middle-aged, whiny, mental, stagnant man. I have all the kids I want so I don't want a baby daddy (and my uterus agrees so that's that). I have my own career, interests, and family.

I don't understand why any woman would even bother.

Sex. And doing fun things together. It does not have to be living together or marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The balls are not materially different in the 50s. Even 60s.

PP here. I beg to differ. Both as a woman who dates and sees them on occasion and as a healthcare provider who sees them weekly.

Can anyone provide scientific support that the "sagging" noted above actually happens? For example, a link to an article in a medical journal would be considered support. However, anecdotal information (e.g., I am a healthcare provider, and I see ____ of them and can tell you this is true) is meaningless.

The idea that this is true for all (or most) men is similar to the notion that women who have a large number of sexual partners lose elasticity and cannot have sex.

People repeat these ideas as fact without understanding if they are true at all.

It is true that skin loses elasticity and collagen with age. So yes balls will sag with age. https://www.menshealth.com/health/a28379523/saggy-balls/

I don't think women who have large numbers of sexual partners will be loose, the vagina bounces back even after childbirth. However the vagina can get looser after childbirth as the pelvic floor muscles are stretched and sometimes will not go back to their original size which is why doctors say to do pelvic floor exercises. Even age and menopause can make a difference so that's why pelvic floor muscles are encouraged throughout life. However females are not immune to a decrease in elasticity and collagen and our boobs sag so there's that.

We all sag together in old age. It's the joy of ageing.

The article supports the PP who said "The balls are not materially different in the 50s. Even 60s"

From the article: "most guys begin to notice a difference in their 60s or 70s."

I'm 55, not seeing it yet.

I never mentioned age.

Which PP were you? The other PPs very definitely mentioned age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I'm a 40-something yo woman with kids, married still (but it's rocky) and I KNOW that if I get divorced, I have NO intention of dating, WHY BOTHER?

The LAST thing I need in my life EVER is another middle-aged, whiny, mental, stagnant man. I have all the kids I want so I don't want a baby daddy (and my uterus agrees so that's that). I have my own career, interests, and family.

I don't understand why any woman would even bother.

Sex. And doing fun things together. It does not have to be living together or marriage.

Yep, sex. And sometimes it’s nice to have a +1 to hang out with. It’s much more fun at this age when there’s no pressure to couple up. So if you’re with someone you’re with them because you actually want to be with them, not for any other reason.

[Anonymous]

44 year old high earning debt free attractive woman with three kids. dating has been easy. Finding someone is harder- more losers- but the pressure is non existent so I’m enjoying the process. I’ve experienced a great FWB, a guy who was great but wanted to get too serious, now am dating a 45 year old high earning fit guy- this one I may keep around for a while but it’s all about figuring out what you want, then finding it. There’s a lot of options when you will not marry again. My kids haven’t met anyone I’ve dated in the past two years and I don’t plan to change that- I have plenty of time to date (even with primary custody) and see no need to merge families in any way.