Assumption of dating pool for divorced 40s women with kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My good friend is mid-40s divorced with a tween and 6 year old and is getting married in a few months to a 50 year old never married childless professional man who is good looking, extremely fit and 6’2. Another friend is early 50s with 3 kids (youngest is 9) and is very serious with a handsome divorced 52 year law partner whose two kids from his previous marriage our in high school and college. Another divorced in early 40s with two elementary school kids got married last summer to a good looking C-Suite executive of a large public Company who was divorced with 3 kids.

What happened to the DCUM line that Women Don't Want To Remarry Especially Not To Old Men With Saggy Balls Who Just Want a Caretaker?

50 isn’t old men. Old men is the 60 year olds that DCUM swore were only option for divorced women in their 40s with their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black woman in her 40s (divorced, no children) and not having much luck at all.

I am AA, but have 2 kids. I responded above that I met DH on a break from dating. I don’t know anything about you, so I’m not making assumptions, but here is what I tell my girlfriends. Use what is useful and discard the rest.

The club is not a good place to meet eligible, quality men.
Go to the gym. The M to F ratios are good and you can approach men to ask about a piece of equipment or a technique.
Go to bar trivia night and Meetup Events. That’s how I met DH.
Travel. Not in a big unapproachable group, but by yourself or with one gf.
Don’t waste your time or let a man play games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cool. I'm 51 with several divorced friends who have met and got engaged to 50-60 y.o. divorced men they met via dating apps.

None of these men are the least bit appealing to me — distracting OCD tendencies, troubled and dramatic teens, saggy man bits-meets-financial problems, etc.

However, all of the guys *seem* decent on paper. Like if I were to describe them to you differently, it would sound like I'm making OP's point for her. (in-shape, successful architect! funny, charming professor!)

But they'd still be OCD saggy b@ll$ in the poorhouse underneath.

So what do you bring to the table?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black woman in her 40s (divorced, no children) and not having much luck at all.

I’m wondering if people think you might want to have children with them and they don’t want that. Older (over 40) women who already have children would at least be up for fun without worrying about a future dad for their kids. I’m wildly guessing here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cool. I'm 51 with several divorced friends who have met and got engaged to 50-60 y.o. divorced men they met via dating apps.

None of these men are the least bit appealing to me — distracting OCD tendencies, troubled and dramatic teens, saggy man bits-meets-financial problems, etc.

However, all of the guys *seem* decent on paper. Like if I were to describe them to you differently, it would sound like I'm making OP's point for her. (in-shape, successful architect! funny, charming professor!)

But they'd still be OCD saggy b@ll$ in the poorhouse underneath.

The balls are not materially different in the 50s. Even 60s.

PP here. I beg to differ. Both as a woman who dates and sees them on occasion and as a healthcare provider who sees them weekly.

Skin is skin. Some ppl's skin ages more slowly than other ppl's skin, I'll grant you that.

Mine certainly aren’t any different. Mid 50s. I’d notice.

Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! I don’t care at this point since I am a saggier 50-year-old version of my younger self, but you PP are delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:46 with teenagers. Never had a problem finding 30-something men for fun or men closer to my age for LTR. And in case anyone is wondering, I am not a perfect 10 and could stand to lose a few pounds. I am, however, very happy and comfortable with who I am.

I run away from women like that. I don't find anything appealing about a mid-40s mom who liked to be made airtight by young dudes every other weekend.

Guy here. Same.

One of the first questions I ask now is "what does she bring to the table?" because I don't want to be stuck with another fat, lazy, dirty, entitled, under-performing wife. I also don't want to have to explain to my friends and family that "before I married her, she was a slut."

Let's turn this around on the women here: would you find 49-year-old, tall, rich, never-married, no-kids, Mr. Wonderful so wonderful if you found out he was hiring prostitutes every month in the past decade? What if he liked to take a trip to Thailand every year to play with the bar girls? Still going to marry him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:46 with teenagers. Never had a problem finding 30-something men for fun or men closer to my age for LTR. And in case anyone is wondering, I am not a perfect 10 and could stand to lose a few pounds. I am, however, very happy and comfortable with who I am.

I run away from women like that. I don't find anything appealing about a mid-40s mom who liked to be made airtight by young dudes every other weekend.

Guy here. Same.

One of the first questions I ask now is "what does she bring to the table?" because I don't want to be stuck with another fat, lazy, dirty, entitled, under-performing wife. I also don't want to have to explain to my friends and family that "before I married her, she was a slut."

Let's turn this around on the women here: would you find 49-year-old, tall, rich, never-married, no-kids, Mr. Wonderful so wonderful if you found out he was hiring prostitutes every month in the past decade? What if he liked to take a trip to Thailand every year to play with the bar girls? Still going to marry him?

I would have major questions about anyone of either gender who is 50 years old and have never been married. Sorry, but that is the truth, at least for me.

[Anonymous]

The balls are not materially different in the 50s. Even 60s.

PP here. I beg to differ. Both as a woman who dates and sees them on occasion and as a healthcare provider who sees them weekly.

Can anyone provide scientific support that the "sagging" noted above actually happens? For example, a link to an article in a medical journal would be considered support. However, anecdotal information (e.g., I am a healthcare provider, and I see ____ of them and can tell you this is true) is meaningless.

The idea that this is true for all (or most) men is similar to the notion that women who have a large number of sexual partners lose elasticity and cannot have sex.

People repeat these ideas as fact without understanding if they are true at all.

[Anonymous]

I'm a divorced woman with kids, and can attest that the biggest impediment to my dating life is my own logistical challenges, not the quality or quantity of available men.

There are lots of nice guys who spent their 20s and 30s in the armed forces or Foreign Service and are out now, or who got married young and have been divorced a good long while.

If pickings are this good for me (young kids, fit but not Barre Theory super-toned, financially secure but not independently wealthy), I can only imagine how good they are for the Pilates Moms with huge child support settlements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The balls are not materially different in the 50s. Even 60s.

PP here. I beg to differ. Both as a woman who dates and sees them on occasion and as a healthcare provider who sees them weekly.

Can anyone provide scientific support that the "sagging" noted above actually happens? For example, a link to an article in a medical journal would be considered support. However, anecdotal information (e.g., I am a healthcare provider, and I see ____ of them and can tell you this is true) is meaningless.

The idea that this is true for all (or most) men is similar to the notion that women who have a large number of sexual partners lose elasticity and cannot have sex.

People repeat these ideas as fact without understanding if they are true at all.

Sagging should be a good thing. If they are big enough to sag, they are still healthy (and producing plenty of T).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. My good friend is mid-40s divorced with a tween and 6 year old and is getting married in a few months to a 50 year old never married childless professional man who is good looking, extremely fit and 6’2. Another friend is early 50s with 3 kids (youngest is 9) and is very serious with a handsome divorced 52 year law partner whose two kids from his previous marriage our in high school and college. Another divorced in early 40s with two elementary school kids got married last summer to a good looking C-Suite executive of a large public Company who was divorced with 3 kids.

What happened to the DCUM line that Women Don't Want To Remarry Especially Not To Old Men With Saggy Balls Who Just Want a Caretaker?

50 isn’t old men. Old men is the 60 year olds that DCUM swore were only option for divorced women in their 40s with their kids.

Yes and usually it was in reply to the poster who kept on typing about older women being ugly old hags.

I think we all understand that EVERYONE ages. An older male and an older female won't have the same skin they did in their 20's.

Although a couple of posters try to make older women feel bad as I get older I simply wouldn't be interested in dating young men. From what I see all my older friends have re-married and they are happy.

I have to laugh because my grandfather who is dead now managed to start a relationship with a lady in his elder years, I think she was in her 60/70's and they lived together, shared a bed. Stayed together close to a decade until she died. I don't think it matters what your age is, if you are open to a relationship no doubt you'll find one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The balls are not materially different in the 50s. Even 60s.

PP here. I beg to differ. Both as a woman who dates and sees them on occasion and as a healthcare provider who sees them weekly.

Can anyone provide scientific support that the "sagging" noted above actually happens? For example, a link to an article in a medical journal would be considered support. However, anecdotal information (e.g., I am a healthcare provider, and I see ____ of them and can tell you this is true) is meaningless.

The idea that this is true for all (or most) men is similar to the notion that women who have a large number of sexual partners lose elasticity and cannot have sex.

People repeat these ideas as fact without understanding if they are true at all.

It is true that skin loses elasticity and collagen with age. So yes balls will sag with age. https://www.menshealth.com/health/a28379523/saggy-balls/

I don't think women who have large numbers of sexual partners will be loose, the vagina bounces back even after childbirth. However the vagina can get looser after childbirth as the pelvic floor muscles are stretched and sometimes will not go back to their original size which is why doctors say to do pelvic floor exercises. Even age and menopause can make a difference so that's why pelvic floor muscles are encouraged throughout life. However females are not immune to a decrease in elasticity and collagen and our boobs sag so there's that.

We all sag together in old age. It's the joy of ageing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black woman in her 40s (divorced, no children) and not having much luck at all.

I am AA, but have 2 kids. I responded above that I met DH on a break from dating. I don’t know anything about you, so I’m not making assumptions, but here is what I tell my girlfriends. Use what is useful and discard the rest.

The club is not a good place to meet eligible, quality men. HAVENT BEEN IN YEARS WOULDNT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO GO.
Go to the gym. The M to F ratios are good and you can approach men to ask about a piece of equipment or a technique. NOTED
Go to bar trivia night and Meetup Events. That’s how I met DH. I DO THIS BUT THEY ARE HEAVILY TILTED TO WOMEN. I WILL WIDEN THE NET
Travel. Not in a big unapproachable group, but by yourself or with one gf. HAVE ALWAYS DONE THIS BECAUSE I PREFER TO TRAVEL ALONE UNLESS WITH MY ROMANTIC PARTNER
Don’t waste your time or let a man play games. COMMON SENSE BUT GOOD TO KEEP TOP OF MIND

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:46 with teenagers. Never had a problem finding 30-something men for fun or men closer to my age for LTR. And in case anyone is wondering, I am not a perfect 10 and could stand to lose a few pounds. I am, however, very happy and comfortable with who I am.

I run away from women like that. I don't find anything appealing about a mid-40s mom who liked to be made airtight by young dudes every other weekend.

Guy here. Same.

One of the first questions I ask now is "what does she bring to the table?" because I don't want to be stuck with another fat, lazy, dirty, entitled, under-performing wife. I also don't want to have to explain to my friends and family that "before I married her, she was a slut."

Let's turn this around on the women here: would you find 49-year-old, tall, rich, never-married, no-kids, Mr. Wonderful so wonderful if you found out he was hiring prostitutes every month in the past decade? What if he liked to take a trip to Thailand every year to play with the bar girls? Still going to marry him?

The language you use here shows you hate women so I can see why you might be and remain single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:46 with teenagers. Never had a problem finding 30-something men for fun or men closer to my age for LTR. And in case anyone is wondering, I am not a perfect 10 and could stand to lose a few pounds. I am, however, very happy and comfortable with who I am.

I run away from women like that. I don't find anything appealing about a mid-40s mom who liked to be made airtight by young dudes every other weekend.

Guy here. Same.

One of the first questions I ask now is "what does she bring to the table?" because I don't want to be stuck with another fat, lazy, dirty, entitled, under-performing wife. I also don't want to have to explain to my friends and family that "before I married her, she was a slut."

Let's turn this around on the women here: would you find 49-year-old, tall, rich, never-married, no-kids, Mr. Wonderful so wonderful if you found out he was hiring prostitutes every month in the past decade? What if he liked to take a trip to Thailand every year to play with the bar girls? Still going to marry him?

The language you use here shows you hate women so I can see why you might be and remain single.

New poster. I agree. I was pretty shocked by the nastiness in some of his words - and I'm hard to shock.