Please comment on tonight’s bedtime scene (5yo)
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I read to 5yo son every night and then my husband comes in and finishes bedtime (15 min). Tonight husband was cranky and when I finished reading he came into the room and was annoyed that 5 yo was wanting to play. He told DC to get in bed and when DC didn’t listen, apparently picked DC up by his pajama shirt and put him in bed. DC started crying. Husband came out of the room angry. If I had gone in husband would say I was undermining him so I said, “can you please go and comfort him?” Husband said, “I will if you get the f&$@ out of my face.”
Please weigh in on how this can be improved. Thank you. |
Anonymous
| Your husband can stop being abusive. |
Anonymous
| Has he always been a jackass, or is this new behavior? |
Anonymous
| I would switch to alternating nights. |
Anonymous
Your husband is abusive. Poor kid 
|
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| If you want to handle the last 15 minutes then you do it. It is annoying when one parent disciplines and one parent undermines. Your kid didn't get in bed and was out into bed. You should have supported your husband when you knew he was cranky |
Anonymous
|
Why couldn't your husband have played for the last 15 min of bedtime with him? That would be a win-win all around.
Your husband also needs to apologize to your son...lead by example and all. |
Anonymous
|
DH should speak kindly but he is right.
I got through to DH by pointing out that one day DS would be stronger than him. But DH would still properly expect respect and obedience, so he needed to find a way to make DS listen that wasn’t based on brute strength. DH wasn’t abusive but he had kept the habit of picking up DS (started when he was 12m) for longer than it was a good idea. |
Anonymous
| So your husband physically abused your kid and verbally abused you. I wouldn't bother trying to fix the relationship - I would divorce and file for full physical custody and he can have supervised visitation once a week AFTER he completes an anger management course. |
Anonymous
| They do everything they can to stall. Going back in just stalls things even more. Bedtime is time to wind down. It is not play time. Was he in bed when you were reading stories? Is this an ongoing issue that you keep dismissing? |
Anonymous
|
OP only you know if this is a one-off bad night for your DH, or if you have a bigger problem.
If you have a bigger problem, then you should try the therapy route -- alone if your DH doesn't want to go. |
Anonymous
|
Sounded like your kid just wanted some play time (quality undivided attention) with your husband.
What do they normally do for the last 15 min of bedtime? |
Anonymous
|
There is no amount of annoyance that would make my husband talk to me that way. Or vice versa.
Kid is fine. You have a bum husband. |
Anonymous
|
One person in this scenario was a childish jerk - and it wasn’t your child.
Stand up to your husband, OP!! It’s your job to protect your child. |