“Ask 3 before me”

[Anonymous]

1st grader came home with a worksheet that was done incorrectly. I asked him what happened and he said “ __ told me the wrong way to do it.” I asked him if he missed the instructions, and he said he didn’t really get what they were supposed to do. (It was a sentence checklist to make sure they are using Capitalization, finger spaces and punctuation) He wrote the sentences but did not use a spelling word in the sentence, he missed that part of the instruction. I asked him he didn’t ask the teacher if he wasn’t sure what to do and he got upset saying “we can’t ask her!” He then explained that she has a “3 before me” rule where they have to ask 3 friends before asking her anything. He said he tried to ask her after asking friends and she wouldn’t him because she was busy with a group. I totally understand not wanting to be bothered with a million questions, but a students asking a question related to the assignment seems reasonably to me. I know it’s his fault he missed the directions the first time, but I don’t get not being able to ask the teacher for clarification. Am I totally off base here?

[Anonymous]

It is hard to run groups in first grade because there is a limited amount of work some first graders can do independently. If the teacher lets kids constantly interrupt her reading group, they won't make progress. if you have time ask if the teacher needs a volunteer during rotations.

[Anonymous]

Yes, the teachers dissuade the students from asking the teacher for help. If everyone asked for help all the time, the teacher would be busy with answering questions instead of teaching.

It encourages them to pay better attention, figure it out, ask classmates. And it doesn't really matter if he did the worksheet wrong in October of 1st grade. They're still learning.

[Anonymous]

If he had questions, they should have been asked before going to groups.

[Anonymous]

Just be glad your 1st grader has a teacher that reviews worksheets.

[Anonymous]

You guys are right. I think I let my emotions get to me when he was so upset about not being to ask for help. He is a rule follower, so he tends to take these kinds of rules to heart. For example a friend was touching his bottom during carpet time and he didn’t want to tell the teacher for fear of being a “tattle tongue.”

-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are right. I think I let my emotions get to me when he was so upset about not being to ask for help. He is a rule follower, so he tends to take these kinds of rules to heart. For example a friend was touching his bottom during carpet time and he didn’t want to tell the teacher for fear of being a “tattle tongue.”

-OP

OP, get that one sorted out before he lets someone do something worse. It's fine to "tattle" when someone is DIRECTLY HURTING you. If Johnny ran out of the room, don't tattle. If Ali and Sara were talking when the teacher said no talking, don't tattle. But if someone touches your ass, you can ABSOLUTELY say "STOP TOUCHING MY ASS." AND TATTLE.

[Anonymous]

Not acceptable at that grade level. Teacher needs a better way to communicate with students. He should feel comfortable to ask questions at any time. She can say many things before her crazy rule of "3 before me".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not acceptable at that grade level. Teacher needs a better way to communicate with students. He should feel comfortable to ask questions at any time. She can say many things before her crazy rule of "3 before me".

No, teachers start this early in elementary school so that kids learn to be sensible. As they get older, they know to only to the teacher with real questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not acceptable at that grade level. Teacher needs a better way to communicate with students. He should feel comfortable to ask questions at any time. She can say many things before her crazy rule of "3 before me".

No, teachers start this early in elementary school so that kids learn to be sensible. As they get older, they know to only to the teacher with real questions.

But OPs son was asking a real question. Not asking when is recess.

[Anonymous]

Is this a public school, OP? And how many kids are in your child’s classroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not acceptable at that grade level. Teacher needs a better way to communicate with students. He should feel comfortable to ask questions at any time. She can say many things before her crazy rule of "3 before me".

No, teachers start this early in elementary school so that kids learn to be sensible. As they get older, they know to only to the teacher with real questions.

But OPs son was asking a real question. Not asking when is recess.

NP here. Exactly— he had a real question & felt he couldn’t ask the teacher for help. My kid has a teacher who does this, and I think it’s lazy teaching at some point. Sure, there are things kids could legitimately ask a peer, but kids shouldn’t be relying on peers to teach them how to do the schoolwork. That is ridiculous. Also, my kid has gotten frustrated when the teacher won’t answer a question that clearly none of the kids can answer. It’s the teacher’s job to address kids’ legitimate questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not acceptable at that grade level. Teacher needs a better way to communicate with students. He should feel comfortable to ask questions at any time. She can say many things before her crazy rule of "3 before me".

No, teachers start this early in elementary school so that kids learn to be sensible. As they get older, they know to only to the teacher with real questions.

But OPs son was asking a real question. Not asking when is recess.

NP here. Exactly— he had a real question & felt he couldn’t ask the teacher for help. My kid has a teacher who does this, and I think it’s lazy teaching at some point. Sure, there are things kids could legitimately ask a peer, but kids shouldn’t be relying on peers to teach them how to do the schoolwork. That is ridiculous. Also, my kid has gotten frustrated when the teacher won’t answer a question that clearly none of the kids can answer. It’s the teacher’s job to address kids’ legitimate questions.

No, he'll learn to figure it out.

Really, he will.

[Anonymous]

'NP here. Exactly— he had a real question & felt he couldn’t ask the teacher for help. My kid has a teacher who does this, and I think it’s lazy teaching at some point. Sure, there are things kids could legitimately ask a peer, but kids shouldn’t be relying on peers to teach them how to do the schoolwork. That is ridiculous. Also, my kid has gotten frustrated when the teacher won’t answer a question that clearly none of the kids can answer. It’s the teacher’s job to address kids’ legitimate questions."



+1000 percent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not acceptable at that grade level. Teacher needs a better way to communicate with students. He should feel comfortable to ask questions at any time. She can say many things before her crazy rule of "3 before me".

No, teachers start this early in elementary school so that kids learn to be sensible. As they get older, they know to only to the teacher with real questions.

But OPs son was asking a real question. Not asking when is recess.

NP here. Exactly— he had a real question & felt he couldn’t ask the teacher for help. My kid has a teacher who does this, and I think it’s lazy teaching at some point. Sure, there are things kids could legitimately ask a peer, but kids shouldn’t be relying on peers to teach them how to do the schoolwork. That is ridiculous. Also, my kid has gotten frustrated when the teacher won’t answer a question that clearly none of the kids can answer. It’s the teacher’s job to address kids’ legitimate questions.

No, he'll learn to figure it out.

Really, he will.

Some kids figure out that they should't bother asking anything and never do again. Every kid is different, and this is why schools are not one size fits all.