When the Other Woman meets your kids

[Anonymous]

My divorce was final a few months ago, and my ex just introduced our boys to his affair partner. It sucks. Everything about this sucks. I've pretty much gone no contact with the ex since we separated (except for logistics related to the kids) and we've been able to keep it quite amicable considering.

I've never confronted the other woman, but I do know her because she was my husband's secretary. She moved to my neighborhood, enrolled her kids in our neighborhood schools. I'm dreading running in to her. I dont even know how to behave. What to say. What to do.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry op. That sounds just awful. No advice, just that I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry. This sucks. It’s okay to feel like it sucks. Another advice, but you have my sympathy.

[Anonymous]

*No other ( sorry)

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a troll post. A secretary that can afford the sams neighborhood as her boss? An affair partner that lasts though a separation and a divorce, she is hid girlfriend. His partner. Move on. He has. Get a boyfriend. Live your life. What do you expect us to say to you.

[Anonymous]

Wow OP that's awful, I'm so sorry. I hope you're seeing someone to help you work through this all.

In a perfect world, you politely ignore. If you're in a situation where you have to interact with her, you say hello and then turn your attention towards something else. Don't bad mouth her to people who don't know the situation. Don't try to turn your neighborhood against her. As miserable as it is, she's a part of your kids lives for now and you don't want to get them caught up in drama.

In time, they will either break up or you will be in a better place to deal with her. For now, ignore when you can, say hello when you have to, then go home have a glass of wine and bitch to your best friend.

[Anonymous]

You don't need sympathy, you need a kick in the pants to tell you to get over it. Get healthy, heal, and live a fabulous life.

[Anonymous]

Wish I were a troll. Stop being a jerk, though. I've moved on in that I dont want my ex back... the divorce was not a mistake and I am a million times happier without him. But it doesn't mean I want my kids meeting this woman, or that I want to ever have to look at her face.

[Anonymous]

I would tear her a new asshole among the other parents. Immature, but too bad. I would make her so uncomfortable that she'd never want to show her face at school. I would even make sure her kids' teachers, principal, the school secretary know.

I wish you'd established expectations with her STBX about introducing girlfriends and boyfriends to the kids.

You sound nice, OP. I would be such an unrepentant bitch in your situation -- both to the AP and to the exDH. I would ensure my kids had no respect for her. (Yes, I know it's the exDH's "fault" he cheated, but I wouldn't want to get accused of parental alienation or whatever so I wouldn't badmouth the ex to young kids )

[Anonymous]

The first time I had to interact with the one in my life with my child and other people around was at a vigil after one of the mass shootings. If no one else is around and I see her, I raise my eyebrows and go on about my business. In social situations, she tries to avoid me at least as much as I do her. I'm polite and bland and I find something else to do as soon as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wish I were a troll. Stop being a jerk, though. I've moved on in that I dont want my ex back... the divorce was not a mistake and I am a million times happier without him. But it doesn't mean I want my kids meeting this woman, or that I want to ever have to look at her face.

I'm sorry, Op, that does sound tough. The only thing I can suggest is to remain strong and confident in your role as your children's mother. You are the one who goes to school conferences, takes your kids to doctors appts, etc. This woman is your ex husband's new girlfriend, she isn't a back up mom to your kids. You share parental responsibilities with your ex, not her.

If you bump into her, treat her as you would treat a coworker that you don't really like but have to work with anyway. Polite but cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tear her a new asshole among the other parents. Immature, but too bad. I would make her so uncomfortable that she'd never want to show her face at school. I would even make sure her kids' teachers, principal, the school secretary know.

I wish you'd established expectations with her STBX about introducing girlfriends and boyfriends to the kids.

You sound nice, OP. I would be such an unrepentant bitch in your situation -- both to the AP and to the exDH. I would ensure my kids had no respect for her. (Yes, I know it's the exDH's "fault" he cheated, but I wouldn't want to get accused of parental alienation or whatever so I wouldn't badmouth the ex to young kids )

What will this accomplish? No one will care or be willing to get involved in OP’s marital issues. SHE will look crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tear her a new asshole among the other parents. Immature, but too bad. I would make her so uncomfortable that she'd never want to show her face at school. I would even make sure her kids' teachers, principal, the school secretary know.

I wish you'd established expectations with her STBX about introducing girlfriends and boyfriends to the kids.

You sound nice, OP. I would be such an unrepentant bitch in your situation -- both to the AP and to the exDH. I would ensure my kids had no respect for her. (Yes, I know it's the exDH's "fault" he cheated, but I wouldn't want to get accused of parental alienation or whatever so I wouldn't badmouth the ex to young kids )

That kind of petulant behavior can and will back fire on you, OP - via Karma, if nothing else. Don't do this, it will only reflect negatively on you. Live your best life, carry on, as if she doesn't exist - because she doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tear her a new asshole among the other parents. Immature, but too bad. I would make her so uncomfortable that she'd never want to show her face at school. I would even make sure her kids' teachers, principal, the school secretary know.

I wish you'd established expectations with her STBX about introducing girlfriends and boyfriends to the kids.

You sound nice, OP. I would be such an unrepentant bitch in your situation -- both to the AP and to the exDH. I would ensure my kids had no respect for her. (Yes, I know it's the exDH's "fault" he cheated, but I wouldn't want to get accused of parental alienation or whatever so I wouldn't badmouth the ex to young kids )

What will this accomplish? No one will care or be willing to get involved in OP’s marital issues. SHE will look crazy.

x10000

OP would look paranoid and crazy if she did that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The first time I had to interact with the one in my life with my child and other people around was at a vigil after one of the mass shootings. If no one else is around and I see her, I raise my eyebrows and go on about my business. In social situations, she tries to avoid me at least as much as I do her. I'm polite and bland and I find something else to do as soon as possible.

What does she even matter? She sounds like she positively owns you.