When the Other Woman meets your kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tear her a new asshole among the other parents. Immature, but too bad. I would make her so uncomfortable that she'd never want to show her face at school. I would even make sure her kids' teachers, principal, the school secretary know.

I wish you'd established expectations with her STBX about introducing girlfriends and boyfriends to the kids.

You sound nice, OP. I would be such an unrepentant bitch in your situation -- both to the AP and to the exDH. I would ensure my kids had no respect for her. (Yes, I know it's the exDH's "fault" he cheated, but I wouldn't want to get accused of parental alienation or whatever so I wouldn't badmouth the ex to young kids )

That kind of petulant behavior can and will back fire on you, OP - via Karma, if nothing else. Don't do this, it will only reflect negatively on you. Live your best life, carry on, as if she doesn't exist - because she doesn't.

I’m kind of laughing imagining being a principal or school secretary and having to listen to this nonsense. Or being so delusional that you think anyone in the kids’ school will care for one second. Stay classy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tear her a new asshole among the other parents. Immature, but too bad. I would make her so uncomfortable that she'd never want to show her face at school. I would even make sure her kids' teachers, principal, the school secretary know.

I wish you'd established expectations with her STBX about introducing girlfriends and boyfriends to the kids.

You sound nice, OP. I would be such an unrepentant bitch in your situation -- both to the AP and to the exDH. I would ensure my kids had no respect for her. (Yes, I know it's the exDH's "fault" he cheated, but I wouldn't want to get accused of parental alienation or whatever so I wouldn't badmouth the ex to young kids )

What will this accomplish? No one will care or be willing to get involved in OP’s marital issues. SHE will look crazy.

x10000

OP would look paranoid and crazy if she did that.

Yeah, there's going to be a lot of sympathy for the guy if the does this. His girlfriend, too, probably.

[Anonymous]

My friends Hs OW tried to make friends with me at soccer.

My H stood there until she stopped blabbering but I just walked away, WTF I am not your friend.

My son would go to their house and she tried so hard but none of the kids ever liked her. But the truth is none of the kids like the dad either.

My college aged son just met his girlfriend's father's AP turn girlfriend and it was awkward. Obviously she is forced to be nice but they will never have a relationship. They both love the moms new boyfriend.

It sucks for your kids but they will learn to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

My ex married the other woman. We rarely interact, but at the occasional kid event we just politely ignore each other. I bitch about her to friends and my mom, but in all other circumstances, always take the high road. People figure out who is the good person and who is the shithead pretty quickly in my experience, and I like not ever giving them the satisfaction of knowing it bothers me.

And more importantly, it keeps my kids sheltered from drama or feeling any conflict.

[Anonymous]

I could have written this thread 6 years ago, minus the secretary aspect. My ex introduced our two boys to his affair partner prior to our divorce, and he continued to see her after the divorce. However, they broke up shortly thereafter, as he got caught cheating--again, lol.

I know it's a hard pill to swallow but maintain your grace and class. Resist the urge to lash out. She likely feels just as uncomfortable, if not more so, and I am sure he does as well. I can almost 100 percent guarantee they won't last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex married the other woman. We rarely interact, but at the occasional kid event we just politely ignore each other. I bitch about her to friends and my mom, but in all other circumstances, always take the high road. People figure out who is the good person and who is the shithead pretty quickly in my experience, and I like not ever giving them the satisfaction of knowing it bothers me.

And more importantly, it keeps my kids sheltered from drama or feeling any conflict.

+1

Always.

[Anonymous]

She might end up being their stepmom so just try to accept it.

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation Op and I befriended her. It was pure geniius on my part. Hugged her every time I saw her. Sit beside her at events when my x is there too. I love watching my x squirm every single time I walk their way. He hates this and I love it. The kids think we’re best friends so they’re just humming along.

[Anonymous]

I "poisoned" my kids against their dad and the lying scuzzy other woman. I told them exactly what they did. Kids were appalled and stopped speaking to him. They were high schoolers so I just said so sorry dad missed your game, he was too busy screwing his girlfriend.
Despite all the protestations on the DCUM, it worked great. All our friends took my side.

Ex gave up and just sends the checks now. We are all happier. I hear that marriage is on the ricks now, too!

[Anonymous]

Hmm. Are you sure the relationship started when you were married, or were you separated? I ask this because so many people push people to date during a separation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I "poisoned" my kids against their dad and the lying scuzzy other woman. I told them exactly what they did. Kids were appalled and stopped speaking to him. They were high schoolers so I just said so sorry dad missed your game, he was too busy screwing his girlfriend.
Despite all the protestations on the DCUM, it worked great. All our friends took my side.

Ex gave up and just sends the checks now. We are all happier. I hear that marriage is on the ricks now, too!

This is probably the most functional way to handle things.

[Anonymous]

Just wait until you hear the kids say, "our new mommy is so much younger and prettier than our old mommy."

[Anonymous]

Hugs to you, OP.
My ex is still dating his affair partner and I'm dreading the day he introduces her to the kids. The unfairness of infidelity is just searing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this thread 6 years ago, minus the secretary aspect. My ex introduced our two boys to his affair partner prior to our divorce, and he continued to see her after the divorce. However, they broke up shortly thereafter, as he got caught cheating--again, lol.

I know it's a hard pill to swallow but maintain your grace and class. Resist the urge to lash out. She likely feels just as uncomfortable, if not more so, and I am sure he does as well. I can almost 100 percent guarantee they won't last.

Yup. There was a lot I could not control and it sucked but I was 100% in control of my own behavior and the goddamned hero of my own story: at once kind, decent, low-drama, and considerate; and also, protective of my boundaries and not a doormat. So I kept it neutral, perfunctory, and detached.

FWIW, I did not keep their secret from others -- everyone knew. Whenever I felt uncomfortable, I reminded myself that my own conduct was above reproach, while their discomfort in the community was 1000% warranted.

P.S. They broke up. He's alone and I take only just a little bit of pleasure in his misery.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and the kids figure it out. You don't need to tell them, and don't badmouth him (although you don't need to make him look good, either -- no need to lie or help him out in any way.)

Trust your kids. They will figure it out and they know where their bread is buttered.