Was this rude? Or do I need to unclench?

[Anonymous]

DD started at a new dance studio. Each individual room has its own tiny waiting room attached for the parents to wait, and then a larger lobby. Very much like a doctor’s office in a medical building, only much smaller.

The girls went in, and the group of parents - there were five of us - were all quietly reading or working on laptops in the tiny waiting room. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. All of a sudden, a mom showed up with a latecomer and three younger kids, a newborn, and a maybe 2 and 3yo. As she helped the oldest strip out of her clothes and shoes, she exchanged loud dialog with the middle two. The oldest went into the studio, but the mom continued to loudly converse with the middle two. Meanwhile, the 2yo started jumping on the chairs, bouncing off of them, at one point, kicking the other child. Crying ensued, then shouting about who meant to or didn’t mean to. The mom whipped out some coloring books and crayons, but the boy kept SHOUTING the different crayon colors. The mom kept shushing the kids and telling them to use ‘indoor voices’, but the distraction never seized until the class let out.

Should she have taken the other three into the main lobby, or outside even? Was this rude or was it just me?

[Anonymous]

Meh.

[Anonymous]

I'd take it easy on her. You don't know what she was dealing with. Maybe she had only planned to bring the child who had class and her sitter cancelled, or her husband was stuck in traffic and at the last minute she had to bring the other two without being able to plan accordingly. She might have been flustered and not thinking clearly. She might have been dealing with any number of unknown circumstances. I try to assume the best in people and to be kind, because, cliche as it sounds, you never really know what anyone else is going through.

[Anonymous]

It's only rude if the noise was disturbing the class. Although the waiting room was quiet, there's no rule (said or unsaid) that it had to be quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd take it easy on her. You don't know what she was dealing with. Maybe she had only planned to bring the child who had class and her sitter cancelled, or her husband was stuck in traffic and at the last minute she had to bring the other two without being able to plan accordingly. She might have been flustered and not thinking clearly. She might have been dealing with any number of unknown circumstances. I try to assume the best in people and to be kind, because, cliche as it sounds, you never really know what anyone else is going through.

Are you supposed to get a sitter for younger children when you take your older child to dance class?

[Anonymous]

it's the waiting room for a child's activity. It's really not unreasonable to expect that other parents/caregivers will be there with younger siblings. Maybe this mom could have dealt with her children better but it's hard to keep 3 young kids entertained in a small space with not much around, and knowing the whole time that you're being watched by all the other parents.

[Anonymous]

Just you. Unclench.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't you just get up and go out to the lobby?

[Anonymous]

Fine except for:

started jumping on the chairs, bouncing off of them, at one point, kicking the other child

Give the mom a break, OP. Be glad you aren't her.

[Anonymous]

Eh. I'm sensitive to noise so I'd have found it annoying, but I'd have just moved to the bigger waiting room or something.

[Anonymous]

Having been a mom with an older child in dance and younger two that age, you're in a near-impossible situation. I always tried to keep my kids away from people who looked like they wanted peace, but it's not always possible. Depending on where the studio is perhaps the mom could take the kids outside (not possible at our studio), but even then weather's going to make that a problem.

Unless you expect her to hand each kid a tablet, it's not going to be quiet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd take it easy on her. You don't know what she was dealing with. Maybe she had only planned to bring the child who had class and her sitter cancelled, or her husband was stuck in traffic and at the last minute she had to bring the other two without being able to plan accordingly. She might have been flustered and not thinking clearly. She might have been dealing with any number of unknown circumstances. I try to assume the best in people and to be kind, because, cliche as it sounds, you never really know what anyone else is going through.

Are you supposed to get a sitter for younger children when you take your older child to dance class?

Having been the one on the end of the weird stares for months and years on end, I know a lot of parents DO, but it's absurd to expect them to.

[Anonymous]

That sounds really annoying and the mom sounds completely oblivious. I would just let it go. Next time, just put on your headphones and drown out the noise with some music.

[Anonymous]

You were at a waiting room for a young child's activities, and your mad that there were young children around making noise and behaving like (albeit unruly) young children?

It's you. Unclench. Or go to the library while your daughter is in class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I'm sensitive to noise so I'd have found it annoying, but I'd have just moved to the bigger waiting room or something.

That’s me too. Someone posted up thread that there is no expectation of being quiet in a dance waiting room so knowing that I would’ve just moved myself to a quieter area.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you can expect quiet in that situation. It's nice if you get it, but kids are going to kid. She was probably sticking around for the same reason you were-she wanted to be there when her daughter walked out.