Will I be shunned for not giving out party favors?

[Anonymous]

I have a 2-year old so I'm new to the world of kid parties. From what I understand, EVERYONE gives out party favors at kid birthday parties. However, I'm anti-party favor. Always have been. We didn't do them at our wedding, I banned them from my showers, and I usually don't take one when I'm at an event. I have too much stuff in my life, I don't need candles/trinkets/whatever. Similarly, my kid has WAY too much stuff and we don't need any more toys.

I'm planning a pool party for her 2nd birthday and will have food, cake, etc. I don't want to give out favors but people tell me that the older kids will be disappointed. It has nothing to do with money, it just seems wasteful and teaches a bad lesson. You get a whole day of fun and STILL want a gift? I don't get it. Birthday parties should be about fun with friends and cake, not getting gifts.

I've also asked for people not to bring gifts (unless the kids want to make a card or something). I know that people think I'm ruining the fun of birthdays but she will be getting plenty of gifts from family, godparents, etc.

Has anyone else stopped giving out goody bags? What was the response? Any suggestions on a compromise?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

My 5 and 3 year old REALLY look forward to party favors, whatever it may be - a balloon, candy, goody bag, trinkets.

I hate the trinkets too but I usually just slip them away to the trash once the kids are bored with them. They are worth 50 cents of fun.

[Anonymous]

I felt the same way about party favors. So I put things in the bags that I thought kids would enjoy that weren't "junk" per se.

1. balloons
2. temporary tatoos
3. stickers
4. sidewalk chalk (two or three sticks out of a big econo-size box)

This was for her 2nd birthday.

And, no, 2 yo have no clue about favors. They won't miss them at all.

[Anonymous]

My DD is turning 5 on Saturday and I am giving out birthday cake shaped cookies in little gift bags that are being made by Monster Cookies.

I don't like the trinkets either but I felt like I had to do something.

[Anonymous]

I don't give goody bags. I know some kids really like them (including my own) but I'm tired of this attitude of entitlement and they're usually full of junk. I've got enough junk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't give goody bags. I know some kids really like them (including my own) but I'm tired of this attitude of entitlement and they're usually full of junk. I've got enough junk.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

I am glad you are anti-favor, there are too few of us out there

At least I am anti-junk favor.

For 4 year-old DC's bug-themed party, I bought lovely recyclable cardboard butterflies with weights at the end of their wings that children can balance on the end of their fingers. One for each child, because it cost more than any plastic bag filled with toxic plastic junk.

I was shocked to hear some of the guests "asking" for their party favors as soon as they walked in the door, so brace yourself for future battles...

For a 2 year old, something to eat? Or nothing at all, they really won't miss it!

[Anonymous]

I didn't do any for my dd's 3 year old party, and no one seemed to care. You just need to let everyone no so they aren't standing by the door. I also didn't do a b-day cake, so I was a bit different. It was my first kid's party, so I didn't even know you were supposed to do that stuff. Yes, I knew about the b-day cake, but we had just moved into our house, and my dd has allergies, so I didn't have time to figure out how to handle the cake thing at the time.

[Anonymous]

I've been to a ton of parties, and only one didn't give out favors. I'm neither for nor opposed, although my 5 year old LOVES the little goody bags.

If I didn't want to do a favor of junk toys but did want to appease the kids (2 year olds don't care, older ones might notice), I'd give out a balloon. Kids love em and you'll probably have some there anyway.

[Anonymous]

I'm anti-party favor too. If I thought of a really good one that went well with a particular party theme, I'd do it, but otherwise I don't see any need.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for not giving out party favors. 95% of the time, they are junk, and I toss them out. The best ones DC has received: mini planting kits (pot, soil, seed), crayons, paper with stickers. Hate the cheap toys, choking hazards, and candy.

[Anonymous]

I would not shun you. I might kiss you.

[Anonymous]

I usually give books - more expensive but worth it.

[Anonymous]

I was always anti-favor, until my children started going to birthday parties, and at age 2 or 3 had a hard time when the birthday child opened presents. They got jealous, I geuss-- and yes I know they need to learn that the world isn't all about them, but... it really did help that they got a little bag full of trinkets on the way home.

If you aren't having presents at the party, then that isn't so much an issue. And lately even when kids bring presents, most parties don't have the kids opening the presents in front of the other children. I remember ALWAYS doing that when we were growing up.

Anyhow, you don't have to give out any kind of goodie bags. But it doesn't hurt to send home a little sweet something for kids to enjoy after the party is over, either IMO.

[Anonymous]

The best favor my son ever got from a bday party was a tie dyed shirt w/ the number 4 on the front (it was for our neighbor's 4yr old party). All of the kids in the neighborhood still wear them (and they were all different colors too). Very cool and useful!