Will I be shunned for not giving out party favors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I know I will be flamed, but I am going to say how I feel. Some of you guys are really sucking the joy out of your kids' childhood. Will the world end if they don't get a goodie bag? No, of course not -- maybe the world will even be better off. Will the world end if it's a no gifts party? No. But gosh, those things are FUN for kids. It's FUN to be the birthday kid and get gifts (small tokens are fine, they don't have to be big gifts). It's FUN to get a few pieces of candy or silly little trinkets (that a lot of kids have more fun with than those wooden educational toys you guy are always going on about).

Lighten up!!!! Seriously. Why can't kids have fun anymore? Why can't one day be special without all of the stressing about whether they'll be spoiled, whether the toys are toxic and whether a few pieces of chocolate ill make them too hyper?

My kids are having a WAAAAAYYY better childhood than I did. Their life is great - they're not being deprived if they don't get a goody bag.

Agreed.

I'm sure glad to hear the world won't end for lack of goody bags. But really, you think not handing out a cheapie plastic toy takes all the joy out of childhood? Seems just a little dramatic. Trust me, my child doesn't lack for toys - or, for that matter, candy and cookies. (Yeah, thanks, Nana.) If a fun birthday party relies that strongly on goody bags, you might want to rethink your party planning strategies.

My 2yo would also have FUN eating M&Ms and watching cartoons with his hands in his diaper all day. Doesn't mean I have to let him.

[Anonymous]

Golly. I had no idea that my daughter will grow up to *waaaaaaant* a goodie bag. Being invited to a party is nice enough! Thank YOU for inviting me! I had such a LOVELY time! Happy birthday!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was always anti-favor, until my children started going to birthday parties, and at age 2 or 3 had a hard time when the birthday child opened presents. They got jealous, I geuss-- and yes I know they need to learn that the world isn't all about them, but... it really did help that they got a little bag full of trinkets on the way home.

If you aren't having presents at the party, then that isn't so much an issue. And lately even when kids bring presents, most parties don't have the kids opening the presents in front of the other children. I remember ALWAYS doing that when we were growing up.

Anyhow, you don't have to give out any kind of goodie bags. But it doesn't hurt to send home a little sweet something for kids to enjoy after the party is over, either IMO.

I thought this was a good point about kids getting jealous with all the gifts.

my daughter's 2 year party is coming up and Im not doing party favors. I am not against them I just haven't had the time to put anything together. Last year for the big 1 we gave out little paperback maurice sendak books. They were cute and cost as much as a goody bag. Play doh, sidewalk chalk and bubbles are all good ideas. We went to a summer party and my daughter got a beach bucket with her name on it. that was useful. honestly I don't think people care very much.

[Anonymous]

I can't wait to check back with some of you parents of younger children in a couple years.

Now I'm going to make goody bags for my DC's upcoming party just to see all of the parents squirm.

[Anonymous]

Wow, 22:24. Sounds like people have really "upped" the ante with goodie bags. How much do people typically spend on them? I mean, the party is $$$ enough, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't wait to check back with some of you parents of younger children in a couple years.

Now I'm going to make goody bags for my DC's upcoming party just to see all of the parents squirm.

It's nice to see your heart's in the right place.

My sister's got three - 6, 5, and 4 - and has yet to do a goody bag, or receive a complaint. Although perhaps they saved it for DCUM.

[Anonymous]

We're about to have our daughter's 2 YO party, and I don't plan to have goody bags, though as PP have said, I do plan to let kids take home balloons (and any extra cookies if we have them) I figure the kids enjoy having the balloons and then they're not cluttering up my house

And we're also doing a no gifts party. We have plenty of toys - she certainly doesn't need more - and I wanted to be able to invite a larger number of kids. She's also TWO. I'm sure we'll change back to gift birthdays when she's older, but right now she doesn't even really get it.

[Anonymous]

This is going to sound like an odd question but are you all Public School parents? I only ask because I have been on the private school scene for quite a few years now (more than one school) and my kids have never been invited to a school friend's party (and we have been to several since usually the whole class is invited or all boys/girls) where this has been a requirement. The only parties they have been invited to where there is a no gift policy (donations to charity instead) and no goody bags given are thrown by a neighbour whose kids do happen to be in a public school.

Obviously I will be flamed for this so I am fully prepared - got my thick skin on - but it is a genuine observation.

[Anonymous]

We didn't do party favors. We also asked for a "no gifts" party for our 2 year old. It was fine. I don't think any of the kids at our party are even aware of the party favor enough to expect them. Maybe it's the age or the group of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound like an odd question but are you all Public School parents? I only ask because I have been on the private school scene for quite a few years now (more than one school) and my kids have never been invited to a school friend's party (and we have been to several since usually the whole class is invited or all boys/girls) where this has been a requirement. The only parties they have been invited to where there is a no gift policy (donations to charity instead) and no goody bags given are thrown by a neighbour whose kids do happen to be in a public school.

Obviously I will be flamed for this so I am fully prepared - got my thick skin on - but it is a genuine observation.

I don't think it's a public/ private school thing, but it may be local to certain groups of friends and children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I will be flamed, but I am going to say how I feel. Some of you guys are really sucking the joy out of your kids' childhood. Will the world end if they don't get a goodie bag? No, of course not -- maybe the world will even be better off. Will the world end if it's a no gifts party? No. But gosh, those things are FUN for kids. It's FUN to be the birthday kid and get gifts (small tokens are fine, they don't have to be big gifts). It's FUN to get a few pieces of candy or silly little trinkets (that a lot of kids have more fun with than those wooden educational toys you guy are always going on about).

Lighten up!!!! Seriously. Why can't kids have fun anymore? Why can't one day be special without all of the stressing about whether they'll be spoiled, whether the toys are toxic and whether a few pieces of chocolate ill make them too hyper?

A couple of thoughts I have:

(1) - Wow - I must have had a HORRIBLE childhood. I mean, we never received party favors when I was a child. I think I should sue. Seriously - when did this party favor craze start? I fondly remember parties I attended and we had a blast - with no favors. In my childhood I lived in Ohio, Minnesota and South Carolina.

(2) Is this a regional thing? I grew up in South Carolina and never heard of party favors until I moved here. Quite a few of my friends have children older then mine, they throw parties, and they don't give out favors - and I don't think there is an expectation of favors. The view is that we're here to celebrate the birthday child. The fun comes in the games played during the party, crafts done, and cake and ice cream.

OP - I would be very happy to not have a favor to take home. My DD gets more than enough gifts/toys/clothes throughout the year. I plan on raising her that parties are about the child we're here to celebrate - and when it's her birthday - we'll be there to celebrate your day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2-year old so I'm new to the world of kid parties. From what I understand, EVERYONE gives out party favors at kid birthday parties. However, I'm anti-party favor. Always have been. We didn't do them at our wedding, I banned them from my showers, and I usually don't take one when I'm at an event. I have too much stuff in my life, I don't need candles/trinkets/whatever. Similarly, my kid has WAY too much stuff and we don't need any more toys.

I'm planning a pool party for her 2nd birthday and will have food, cake, etc. I don't want to give out favors but people tell me that the older kids will be disappointed. It has nothing to do with money, it just seems wasteful and teaches a bad lesson. You get a whole day of fun and STILL want a gift? I don't get it. Birthday parties should be about fun with friends and cake, not getting gifts.

I've also asked for people not to bring gifts (unless the kids want to make a card or something). I know that people think I'm ruining the fun of birthdays but she will be getting plenty of gifts from family, godparents, etc.

Has anyone else stopped giving out goody bags? What was the response? Any suggestions on a compromise?

Thanks!

You are correct: no favors. Once you ask for no gifts then it has to be a no favors party. I just cannot stand the double standard of insisting on no gifts, presumably because you already have too much stuff or want to be environmentally friendly or whatever and then my kid is sent home with a bag of toxic waste!

[Anonymous]

If you did want to give a favor, a water noodle for each child would be a cute party favor. And they only cost about $1 each.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but I think it's better to give out party favors bc/ the little ones love them so much. You certainly don't have to - but they get so excited about it. Why not something that's not junk-y - like a small book, play-doh, crayons or stickers?

[Anonymous]

Parents, get over yourselves. It's not about you and what you want. It's for the kids.