How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?

[Anonymous]

Sorry of this sounds like a troll post. It’s not. I was just looking for honest feedback on this issue. I have been reading a lot about men who view feminism for their personal problems. Nonsense like blue pill vs red pill. Incel. And views of masculinity that are very control oriented.

I haven’t heard anyone in real life discuss these issues nor do I think they crop up on this forum often.

Has anyone actually heard these comments directly from someone they know and not just the internet?

[Anonymous]

I meant to write “singledom” for the title. Damn autocorrect.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

This is the Internet and not real life. Go ask real people in person.

[Anonymous]

I blame the family law system, which leads women to believe that they will get everything. My ex-wife spent years bullying me, threatening divorce, and telling me if divorce happened she'd get everything--all the time with the children, all my money, retirement, house, etc. She had no incentive to behave well or participate in counseling because all she had to do was drive me from the home and she'd win the lottery.

It didn't work out that way for her, but only because I fought like hell and spent a lot on attorneys. But many other men haven't been so lucky.

I tell all young men to avoid marriage at all costs, and if they are dumb enough to get married, don't have kids. If they're dumb enough to marry and have kids, just have one child and make sure your wife is always working and always have a backup plan and hidden savings ($40,000) so you can hire a good attorney.

[Anonymous]

Not exactly what you asked, but I'm married & sometimes I feel like my wife's engagement with feminist issues gets taken out on me sometimes. She's so immersed in stories of men behaving badly with no direct ability to direct those negative feelings at those responsible that I feel like I sometimes find myself on the receiving end of that negativity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I blame the family law system, which leads women to believe that they will get everything. My ex-wife spent years bullying me, threatening divorce, and telling me if divorce happened she'd get everything--all the time with the children, all my money, retirement, house, etc. She had no incentive to behave well or participate in counseling because all she had to do was drive me from the home and she'd win the lottery.

It didn't work out that way for her, but only because I fought like hell and spent a lot on attorneys. But many other men haven't been so lucky.

I tell all young men to avoid marriage at all costs, and if they are dumb enough to get married, don't have kids. If they're dumb enough to marry and have kids, just have one child and make sure your wife is always working and always have a backup plan and hidden savings ($40,000) so you can hire a good attorney.

Huh? What are you talking about? The default in this area is joint custody, and even if some alimony is awarded, it's not forever. If what you're objecting to is splitting marital assets (including your retirement) I don't know what to tell you. If you didn't like the household arrangement of labor with your wife, you should have dealt with that. Don't put your own inability to manage your relationships on the "family law system."

[Anonymous]

Lol. My STBX might say this. Whenever (before I gave up) I tried to tell him it was unfair that he wasn't sharing in the household work, he would claim I was just obsessed with fairness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol. My STBX might say this. Whenever (before I gave up) I tried to tell him it was unfair that he wasn't sharing in the household work, he would claim I was just obsessed with fairness.

Imagine that. You want to share the household work? How dare you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol. My STBX might say this. Whenever (before I gave up) I tried to tell him it was unfair that he wasn't sharing in the household work, he would claim I was just obsessed with fairness.

who worked more and provided more income?

[Anonymous]

I think it is mostly angry men using the Internet for an outlet, I don't know any guys who actually believe in total control masculinity beyond whatever jokes guys might make while they're having a beer. The "make me a sandwich" type stuff.

My wife and I both work and treat each other as equals. She's not a feminist really, I mean she stands up for herself but she doesn't go reading the Internet looking for stories of men behaving badly. And even if she did, my response would be flat out that unless I'm personally behaving that way or treating her badly, don't argue with or take it out on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is mostly angry men using the Internet for an outlet, I don't know any guys who actually believe in total control masculinity beyond whatever jokes guys might make while they're having a beer. The "make me a sandwich" type stuff.

My wife and I both work and treat each other as equals. She's not a feminist really, I mean she stands up for herself but she doesn't go reading the Internet looking for stories of men behaving badly. And even if she did, my response would be flat out that unless I'm personally behaving that way or treating her badly, don't argue with or take it out on me.

That's how I feel, but apparently I'm part of the patriarchy if I don't make a scene whenever I hear a dude saying something anti-woman.

[Anonymous]

My H blames our divorce on me marking a lot of money, he thinks I would stay if I couldn’t afford to support myself.

Upon announcing my divorce many friend told me they wished they could afford to leave.

Not exactly what you asked but similar.

[Anonymous]

I am married. I have only heard comments like this rarely in many years, and in all cases it was from a man who was pretty delusional about himself. So, for instance, I remember a man who was not groomed (I mean he smelled) who was convinced the reason he didn't get dates was "feminism," when in fact it was that you could not get within five feet of him without wishing for noseplugs. But he was convinced it was feminism.

Personally if I were dating, blaming feminism would be a huge glaring red flag. I have only heard it from men you'd want to stay far away from.

[Anonymous]

I've never had a person face-to-face go full-on incel, but I have had men invalidate women's experiences (E.g. because men get mugged but he's not personally afraid of being mugged, women shouldn't be afraid of being raped if they're out at night). I've also had a date minimize and insult me professionally and then take it personally when I refused to go on another date. He didn't say feminism but it was clear he believed women basically dabbled in careers.