How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is mostly angry men using the Internet for an outlet, I don't know any guys who actually believe in total control masculinity beyond whatever jokes guys might make while they're having a beer. The "make me a sandwich" type stuff.

My wife and I both work and treat each other as equals. She's not a feminist really, I mean she stands up for herself but she doesn't go reading the Internet looking for stories of men behaving badly. And even if she did, my response would be flat out that unless I'm personally behaving that way or treating her badly, don't argue with or take it out on me.

Dude, based on this description, your wife is a feminist. Sounds like you are too! Weird, huh?
Lots of men single or divorced don’t think feminism is to blame. Especially considering that most of them have moms, sisters, and female friends who want equality. Equality is the basis of feminism.

I'm the PP you quoted. Though this thread has taken a different turn I'll still respond. If equality is the sole basis of feminism (not something I study intently) then I guess she and I are both feminists since we do treat each other as equals, raise the kids together, all of that. I certainly don't look down on women or think of them as less than men.

Perhaps incorrectly, I've generally viewed "feminism" though the lens of my mother, who is in her 70's. She grew up in a poor town, fought her way out and had a very successful professional career in a time where it wasn't nearly as easy for women to do so. I know she fought a lot of glass ceiling type issues, and she had a few marriages that failed for one reason or another. Consequently, she is quick to point out anything and everything that men in power do wrong and you can bet she has a field day with our current administration. With that as my primary comparison, I never thought of my wife as a feminist. She's strong and stands up for herself but isn't nearly as vocal. Put another way, my mother is the far more likely of the two to be wearing a pink hat and carrying a sign outside of the White House.

Your mother doesnt define a Feminist. We just want equal rights. I love men- my DH is my best friend and I love my boys. But they shouldnt get a promotion or more pay for doing the same job. That's all Feminism is- the fight for Equslity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feminism doesn't seem to be making anyone happier.

Shrug. I have a far more egalitarian marriage than my parents (or DHs parents) ever did, and so far we both think we are a lot happier together than either of our parents were at the same stage in life. Seems to have made us happier, at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course I should add IRL the guy who bought an apartment when single then got married and had to split it in the divorce. He had to start over again from scratch.

The married male friend that couldn't get ahead financially because the wife spent so much money. Divorced now and after 12 years of marriage is starting pretty much from scratch.

The single male friends IRL have spent their 20's working on investments and buying property the number one concern is losing it after marriage. They openly admit this concern.

Yes feminism was great it has given women the ability to have choice which now they have. The cookie cutter lifestyle of marriage and kids that once was doesn't have to be the way it is in the future.

Men and women are choosing to remain single, people are living together and not marrying, people are getting married and having kids. Gay men are using surrogates to have a family and other gay men are living the DINK lifestyle. One female I know lives with her husband in the weekend only they live apart during the week.

People can do whatever they want. I do believe feminism paved the way for all the choices now available. If a man wants to remain single that's his choice who cares.

People are so black and white on these threads. So angry. I know more wives cheating on their husbands than men cheating at the moment. I do think men may change how they view relationships because women have certainly changed. There isn't anything wrong with that. Women act more like men now. It will be interesting to see what future generations do.

I agree that marital laws are wack! I will encourage my kids to have a prenup. If my daughters or sons have to pay a guy or gal that refuses to work... it's ridiculous.

But the law is, assets you bring into the marriage don't go to a spouse after divorce... so the condo was probably underwater when he married. You friend with assets now, won't split the value of those at the time of the marriage when divorced.

Also, you do know that most over spenders are men, right?

You seem to view things very skewed to men getting screwed over... let just agree it's at best 50/50 but most likely a little bit worse for women since 50% more live in poverty after divorce. 70% of men don't even want custody of their children.

There is a difference between law and practice. By law, pre-marital assets are yours. In practice, the divorcing spouse can still claim they are their's and then you get to pay for all sorts court filings, discoveries, and forensic accountant services. If you had never gotten married in the first place, you wouldn't have to pay tens of thousands defending pre-marital or inheritance monies.

I spent thousands just handing onto my pre-marital 401k. A friend of mine lost a portion of his pre-marital 401k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course I should add IRL the guy who bought an apartment when single then got married and had to split it in the divorce. He had to start over again from scratch.

The married male friend that couldn't get ahead financially because the wife spent so much money. Divorced now and after 12 years of marriage is starting pretty much from scratch.

The single male friends IRL have spent their 20's working on investments and buying property the number one concern is losing it after marriage. They openly admit this concern.

Yes feminism was great it has given women the ability to have choice which now they have. The cookie cutter lifestyle of marriage and kids that once was doesn't have to be the way it is in the future.

Men and women are choosing to remain single, people are living together and not marrying, people are getting married and having kids. Gay men are using surrogates to have a family and other gay men are living the DINK lifestyle. One female I know lives with her husband in the weekend only they live apart during the week.

People can do whatever they want. I do believe feminism paved the way for all the choices now available. If a man wants to remain single that's his choice who cares.

People are so black and white on these threads. So angry. I know more wives cheating on their husbands than men cheating at the moment. I do think men may change how they view relationships because women have certainly changed. There isn't anything wrong with that. Women act more like men now. It will be interesting to see what future generations do.

I agree that marital laws are wack! I will encourage my kids to have a prenup. If my daughters or sons have to pay a guy or gal that refuses to work... it's ridiculous.

But the law is, assets you bring into the marriage don't go to a spouse after divorce... so the condo was probably underwater when he married. You friend with assets now, won't split the value of those at the time of the marriage when divorced.

Also, you do know that most over spenders are men, right?

You seem to view things very skewed to men getting screwed over... let just agree it's at best 50/50 but most likely a little bit worse for women since 50% more live in poverty after divorce. 70% of men don't even want custody of their children.

There is a difference between law and practice. By law, pre-marital assets are yours. In practice, the divorcing spouse can still claim they are their's and then you get to pay for all sorts court filings, discoveries, and forensic accountant services. If you had never gotten married in the first place, you wouldn't have to pay tens of thousands defending pre-marital or inheritance monies.

I spent thousands just handing onto my pre-marital 401k. A friend of mine lost a portion of his pre-marital 401k.

Fake news. You maybe owed money and needed to use that fund instead of another, but you did not give away pre-marital assets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry of this sounds like a troll post. It’s not. I was just looking for honest feedback on this issue. I have been reading a lot about men who view feminism for their personal problems. Nonsense like blue pill vs red pill. Incel. And views of masculinity that are very control oriented.

I haven’t heard anyone in real life discuss these issues nor do I think they crop up on this forum often.

Has anyone actually heard these comments directly from someone they know and not just the internet?

OP has clearly advertised that she has an agenda, versus having an honest discussion. I decline to play along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism doesn't seem to be making anyone happier.

Nope. I'm glad I can have my own bank account, buy property, vote etc etc etc

I'm glad you have all those things too. You should. Still, I think if you polled women on their happiness 60 years ago versus now, you'd find them less happy now than then -- particularly when it comes to gender relations.

[Anonymous]

I don't care what men think. As a woman, I'm da#! glad I have choices and can be picky if I want to. Men need to stop blaming women for their lot in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care what men think. As a woman, I'm da#! glad I have choices and can be picky if I want to. Men need to stop blaming women for their lot in life.

Yup. Poll away, but I'm pretty damn happy I can have any type of "gender relation" I choose, when I choose (or don't choose) and can still earn enough to take care of my responsibilities regardless of my relationship status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think feminism has caused a few issues in society. It all seems a little topsy-turvy at the moment and I'm female saying this.

There is the me-too movement going on but then we have unprecedented rates of females lying about being raped and the matters getting thrown out in court. A lot of females at the moment bringing up indecent assault from 40 years ago always in relation to celebrities who have money. It's always about money.

Again the me-too movement where women don't want to be objectified by men but women today are wearing less clothes than ever before, getting naked on the internet and being sugar babies. So it's ok for them to objectify themselves.

The fact that women want superannuation for time they have spent being a SAHM is ridiculous. You get that money because you are working, it's not a right. If you choose to be a SAHM then you forgo some benefits.

Women want equality with men in the household but not when they divorce, they want men to pay them to support them, they don't want equality in life, they always want the men to pay.

Honestly after seeing so many men screwed over after divorce with the ex-wife getting child support while living with her new partner in their brand new million dollar mansion I think the system is screwed. If the woman doesn't need extra cash she shouldn't be getting it.

And the money women want to spend on nails, hair, botox, fake tans, make-up. I had a single friend who wouldn't move in with his long term girlfriend. He recognised he couldn't pay for her lifestyle.

I am not sure I would be rushing to marry these days either. It all seems a little off out there, everyone wants to sleep around. Why don't they just sleep around and leave the rest.

Do you actually talk to people in real life or do you just draw conclusions from tv and the internet? You seem very out of touch with reality.

I work in law enforcement so yes I actually deal with the real life sexual assault claims that are fake. One sixteen year old girl falsely accused 4 men of raping her because she was upset one of them wouldn't later date her. I have many stories like this. A lot of one night stands when the boyfriend finds out and of course the female yells rape. Most cases are this, very rarely do they turn out real. How is it found out, the girls usually film it laughing, they are so dumb. Text messages, phone calls, they all get found out or their stories are so changed up in court it gets thrown out within the first couple of days of the trial because they can't remember their own story.

As for court cases of drug rape. The females are tested in hospital for the drugs required for date rape drug. So far 0% have come back positive.

The stories of child support are all real. The men are living in crappy places and have been left with little. The ex is having overseas holidays and living in a new mansion. Other male is living in a granny flat at the rear of someone's house.

As for sugar babies, our universities are full of them.

Yes this is reality. I don't think I'm out of touch. Yes I'm taking the celebrity indecent assaults from the media because in real life I am yet to see a woman charge an average man with an assault from 40 years ago. The only ones that is happening to are celebrites and the church. The church is probably real but if there isn't money involved the charges aren't being laid.

How many false allegations go to court?

Hell, how many credible allegations go to court? And when found guilty, how many rapists get fluff sentences?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism doesn't seem to be making anyone happier.

Nope. I'm glad I can have my own bank account, buy property, vote etc etc etc

I'm glad you have all those things too. You should. Still, I think if you polled women on their happiness 60 years ago versus now, you'd find them less happy now than then -- particularly when it comes to gender relations.

Please don't go down that road. There lies madness. Like the Monty Python Four Yorkshiremen. "Oh we were happy because we were poor!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think feminism has caused a few issues in society. It all seems a little topsy-turvy at the moment and I'm female saying this.

There is the me-too movement going on but then we have unprecedented rates of females lying about being raped and the matters getting thrown out in court. A lot of females at the moment bringing up indecent assault from 40 years ago always in relation to celebrities who have money. It's always about money.

Again the me-too movement where women don't want to be objectified by men but women today are wearing less clothes than ever before, getting naked on the internet and being sugar babies. So it's ok for them to objectify themselves.

The fact that women want superannuation for time they have spent being a SAHM is ridiculous. You get that money because you are working, it's not a right. If you choose to be a SAHM then you forgo some benefits.

Women want equality with men in the household but not when they divorce, they want men to pay them to support them, they don't want equality in life, they always want the men to pay.

Honestly after seeing so many men screwed over after divorce with the ex-wife getting child support while living with her new partner in their brand new million dollar mansion I think the system is screwed. If the woman doesn't need extra cash she shouldn't be getting it.

And the money women want to spend on nails, hair, botox, fake tans, make-up. I had a single friend who wouldn't move in with his long term girlfriend. He recognised he couldn't pay for her lifestyle.

I am not sure I would be rushing to marry these days either. It all seems a little off out there, everyone wants to sleep around. Why don't they just sleep around and leave the rest.

Hahaaaa! Hey dude pretending to be a woman, the trick to being convincing is not calling yourself “female“

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think feminism has caused a few issues in society. It all seems a little topsy-turvy at the moment and I'm female saying this.

There is the me-too movement going on but then we have unprecedented rates of females lying about being raped and the matters getting thrown out in court. A lot of females at the moment bringing up indecent assault from 40 years ago always in relation to celebrities who have money. It's always about money.

Again the me-too movement where women don't want to be objectified by men but women today are wearing less clothes than ever before, getting naked on the internet and being sugar babies. So it's ok for them to objectify themselves.

The fact that women want superannuation for time they have spent being a SAHM is ridiculous. You get that money because you are working, it's not a right. If you choose to be a SAHM then you forgo some benefits.

Women want equality with men in the household but not when they divorce, they want men to pay them to support them, they don't want equality in life, they always want the men to pay.

Honestly after seeing so many men screwed over after divorce with the ex-wife getting child support while living with her new partner in their brand new million dollar mansion I think the system is screwed. If the woman doesn't need extra cash she shouldn't be getting it.

And the money women want to spend on nails, hair, botox, fake tans, make-up. I had a single friend who wouldn't move in with his long term girlfriend. He recognised he couldn't pay for her lifestyle.

I am not sure I would be rushing to marry these days either. It all seems a little off out there, everyone wants to sleep around. Why don't they just sleep around and leave the rest.

Do you actually talk to people in real life or do you just draw conclusions from tv and the internet? You seem very out of touch with reality.

I work in law enforcement so yes I actually deal with the real life sexual assault claims that are fake. One sixteen year old girl falsely accused 4 men of raping her because she was upset one of them wouldn't later date her. I have many stories like this. A lot of one night stands when the boyfriend finds out and of course the female yells rape. Most cases are this, very rarely do they turn out real. How is it found out, the girls usually film it laughing, they are so dumb. Text messages, phone calls, they all get found out or their stories are so changed up in court it gets thrown out within the first couple of days of the trial because they can't remember their own story.

As for court cases of drug rape. The females are tested in hospital for the drugs required for date rape drug. So far 0% have come back positive.

The stories of child support are all real. The men are living in crappy places and have been left with little. The ex is having overseas holidays and living in a new mansion. Other male is living in a granny flat at the rear of someone's house.

As for sugar babies, our universities are full of them.

Yes this is reality. I don't think I'm out of touch. Yes I'm taking the celebrity indecent assaults from the media because in real life I am yet to see a woman charge an average man with an assault from 40 years ago. The only ones that is happening to are celebrites and the church. The church is probably real but if there isn't money involved the charges aren't being laid.

In terms of the financial piece- yes of course they have to pay child support and that causes a huge downgrade in lifestyle for BOTH parents. Two households are more expensive than one. If ex-wife finds a new man that pays for vacations and whatnot that has nothing to do with it. The man is welcome to find a new rich and generous girlfriend & do the same thing. It isn’t the fault of the system.

And a man should WANT to provide for his child, not leave it to some other man with more resources to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism doesn't seem to be making anyone happier.

Nope. I'm glad I can have my own bank account, buy property, vote etc etc etc

I'm glad you have all those things too. You should. Still, I think if you polled women on their happiness 60 years ago versus now, you'd find them less happy now than then -- particularly when it comes to gender relations.

Lol sure bud. I’m pretty sure the only people unhappy with equalizing gender relations are men. They wish they could go back to the past because they held all the power then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think feminism has caused a few issues in society. It all seems a little topsy-turvy at the moment and I'm female saying this.

There is the me-too movement going on but then we have unprecedented rates of females lying about being raped and the matters getting thrown out in court. A lot of females at the moment bringing up indecent assault from 40 years ago always in relation to celebrities who have money. It's always about money.

Again the me-too movement where women don't want to be objectified by men but women today are wearing less clothes than ever before, getting naked on the internet and being sugar babies. So it's ok for them to objectify themselves.

The fact that women want superannuation for time they have spent being a SAHM is ridiculous. You get that money because you are working, it's not a right. If you choose to be a SAHM then you forgo some benefits.

Women want equality with men in the household but not when they divorce, they want men to pay them to support them, they don't want equality in life, they always want the men to pay.

Honestly after seeing so many men screwed over after divorce with the ex-wife getting child support while living with her new partner in their brand new million dollar mansion I think the system is screwed. If the woman doesn't need extra cash she shouldn't be getting it.

And the money women want to spend on nails, hair, botox, fake tans, make-up. I had a single friend who wouldn't move in with his long term girlfriend. He recognised he couldn't pay for her lifestyle.

I am not sure I would be rushing to marry these days either. It all seems a little off out there, everyone wants to sleep around. Why don't they just sleep around and leave the rest.

Hahaaaa! Hey dude pretending to be a woman, the trick to being convincing is not calling yourself “female“

The female is a pretty funny giveaway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol. My STBX might say this. Whenever (before I gave up) I tried to tell him it was unfair that he wasn't sharing in the household work, he would claim I was just obsessed with fairness.

who worked more and provided more income?

Dp If the "person who earned more income or worked more" guess how much housework they would have to do? All of it ( or hire someone) at least they could do is half plus not drop everything and make it worse.